Silky eyelashes fluttered as lids that were such a pale blue as to be nearly white closed slowly, momentarily obscuring the garnet irises of her eyes. When they opened once more, they were wide, shining, glistening with emotion.

Prismatic bangs dangled in front of her eyes, but they only made them look deeper, more intense as she stared, long and deep, into my eyes.

Her cute, pouting lips parted, a small gasp of breath slipping between them as she drew in to speak.

". . . . Whut?"

"I said 'I wanna rut Pinkie Pie senseless.'" I repeated myself, leaning back against the side of the tree in Ponyville Park, looking over into the cyan visage of the bemused pegasus beside me.

"And I don't mean just, like, 'senseless', senseless. I mean like, 'drooling, crosseyed, cum-drenched mess on the floor,' kinda senseless."

Another slow blink, and then she stammered a bit. "Uuhhhhh, wh-, er. . . I . . . seeeee." She blinked a few more times, then shook her head, as though clearing it, and reached up, rubbing at her face with a dainty hoof. "Right. And, why, exactly, are you telling me this?"

hazel eyes slowly blink beneath ginger bangs. My lids open again, so I can stare into her face long and hard.

". . . . Whut?"

She growls and facehoofs, groaning for a moment, then looks at me. "Dude! This is Pinkie Pie we're talking about! Just go up and say 'Oh, hey, Pinkie, I'd like to rut you into a slobbering mess!' I'm tellin' ya, she'd lift her tail right there!" She paused a moment, then lifted a hoof. "Literally, so maybe make sure you're not, like, at some foal's birthday party, or somethin'."

I frown slightly. "Riiigggght. . . . Just one problem." She lifts a brow at me, and I cock an eyebrow right back at her. "Well, two, really. First off. . . I've only been here a few months! I don't know anything about your anatomy or anything!" She shook her head, blinking in confusion, and looked at me like I was an idiot.

"Wha- Dude! We're naked, like, all the time!"

Fair enough. "Yeah, and? I know where things are, in a general sense, but I don't know how you differ from human girls! I wouldn't know the first thing about pleasing any of you! That's why I came to you!"

"Are. . . . Are you coming on to me, Fyren? If so, I'm . . . not sure I'm cool with that."

"Of course I'm not, Dashie!"

"Oh, well, that's good, then."

"I know you're gay!"

She froze for a second, blinking rapidly and staring at me, back slowly stiffening up, even as a blush crossed her features. "I-I-I am not!"

I snort, blowing a breath out of my mouth in disbelief. "Yeah, right, Dashie!"

"I'm not!"

"There's nothing wrong with it, Dash!"

"I know that, but I'm not gay!"

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Really?"

"Really!"

I lean back against the tree, looking at her sideways, and lick my tooth. "Then how do you explain the fact that you are constantly making googly eyes at AJ's flank, hm?"

Had I know that her face could turn that shade of purple, I might've said something about this a lot sooner. It went nearly black and for a second I thought she was going to pass out. She got herself back under control, however, stamping a hoof on the ground, and glared at me past her blush. "I-I do not stare at her flank!"

"Pphht! Yeah, you do."

"No, I don't!"

"Damnit, Dash, I see you do it, everytime we're at Sugarcube Corner and you think no one is watching! You practically drool. If I had a bit every time one of your wings has nearly put my eye out, I'd be rich!"

“That- That is so not true!”

“Dash! What. . . How- I saw it with my own two eyes!”

“And I don’t care! I do not stare at AJ’s flank!”

“Yes, you do!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yeeeeeessss, ya do!”

“Grrrr, for the last friggin’ time, Fyren, I do not stare at my best friend’s ass!”

I hold up my hands, shaking my head. “Oh, fer buck’s sake! Ok, enough! It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or not!”

“It matters to me!”

“Shut it! All that matters is, you’re a mare!” It occurred to me at this point that I had never actually gotten a good enough look to confirm that, and this could potentially really damage my rep around here. I pursed my lips. “Uhhh. . . . .R-Right?”

She smirks and nods. “Well, yeah! Only the most awesome mare in all of Equestria!” She was too busy preening to notice me mouthing the last four words along with her, moving my hand like it was a mouth. Of course, when she glanced over before I was finished, that kind of ruined the moment. I froze, glancing at her, and she froze, looking at me.

She narrowed her eyes.

“So, anywaydoyouthinkyoucouldhelpmeouthereDashie?!. . . . Please?” I asked, quickly, in an attempt to interrupt whatever horrible thoughts she might have been contemplating.

She blinked, looking down at me from where she had taken to flapping her wings in the air above me. “How does me being a mare have anything to do with being able to help you?”

I blinked back at her, frowning. Really? Could she be that clueless?

“Uhhhh. . . “ I clear my throat, trying to think of how in the hell I was supposed to explain something to her I thought would be obvious. “Err, b-because you know what feels good, to a mare?” I say, looking at her like she’s the idiot, this time.

Of course, my stare has absolutely no effect on the cocky pegasus, and she gives me a blank look. “What?”

I facepalm, groaning, and shake my head. “You have had sex before, right?!” She snorts.

“Well, duh! Are you kidding?! I’m so awesome, every stallion in town wants a piece of this flank, and I’d be an idiot not to take at least some of them up on that! . . . Being straight, and all! Yep! Straight as a string!”

“With a few knots in it.” I mutter.

“What was that?!”

“Nothing!”

“I’m not gay!”

I shake my head again, sitting up from the tree and gesturing. “Ok, fine! Look, I’ll put it to you straight, seeing as you’re clearly not taking the hint.” Her face twists in annoyance and she opens her mouth, but I keep talking over her. “As a sexually experienced mare, straight or not, you know what feels good to a female of your species. As such, you can instruct me in what I need to know in order to make Pinkie Pie have the mother of all femgasms.”

She stares at me for a second. “Riiiigght. . . . And, would that include having sex with you? Cuz, again, Fyre, you’re cute and all, I guess, but I’m not really into you like that. . . . Not because I’m gay!” I glare at her, and she holds out both hooves, before coming back down to land on the grass. “Not that I would blame you for wanting to taste the rainbow, or nothin’. I mean, I am awesome, after all! In the sky, and in the bedroom!”

I nod along with her, then roll my eyes. “Right, sure thing, Dashie, but no, I don’t intend to have sex with you, or any other ponies besides Pinkie Pie! She’s special, ya know?”

She frowns. “Special? I guess that’s one way to put it.”

“Actually, that leads me on to point number two.” I tap my finger on my chin. “Honestly, Dash, if it was any other pony, I wouldn’t be as worried. I know how sex works, and I figure I could guess my way through a lot of stuff. But this isn’t any other pony. This is Pinkie Pie!”

“Uhh, what is she like your goddess or something? You gonna place her on some kinda super special pedestal, convince yourself you don’t deserve her love and spend, like, a thousand chapters angsting around and beating yourself up about it, until you turn all emo and shit?” She looks at me for a long moment, while I blink at her. Slowly.

She starts looking around as the silence stretches into an uncomfortable degree, and then her cracking voice chimes in to break it. “C-Cause that would just be totally stupid, r-right?! Hahaha! I mean, who w-would even do something like that?!”

She blushes really hard as I cock an eyebrow at her. “Of course I’m not going to do that, Dash! And, of course that would be stupid! I mean, who the hell does that, anyway? Romance stories have a firmly set program to follow. Five chapters of angst, tops, then on with the cuddling! I mean, come on, a thousand chapters!? Who the hell would ever think THAT was a good idea?! Any more than five, and you’d be liable to piss people off, but a thousand?! Seriously, Dashie, you need to get your head examined.”

. . . . So, this is going to be one of those kinda stories, huh, mister writer guy who is definitely NOT me?

Just shut up and get on with it, I dunno where this is going any more than you do!

Oh, greeeeaat.

Anyway. . . .

“Look, forget all that! No, I’m not head-over-ridiculously-masochistic heels in love with Pinkie Pie, I’m not putting her on some kinda pedestal and I’m most certainly NOT going to drag this out for a thousand chapters! _{(Like, seriously, how, even?!)} No, what I mean by “She’s special” is, I think she would kill me!”

She blinked, making a small sound of surprise. “What?! Dude, I know she’s a bit wacko, but she’s not like some kinda serial killer or some shit!” She shook her head, laughing slightly, “Next thing you know, you’ll say she’s gonna bake you into a cupcake and make us all eat you!” She burst out laughing, rolling on the ground and beating it with her hooves. “Ahahaha! Can y-you imagine?! I m-meahahaha- mean, how s-s-silly is that?!”

I sat there, arms crossed over my chest until her laughter has quieted. “YOu finished? Good, because no, I don’t mean like that. I mean, well. . . “ I look down at myself. Shirtless, wearing a simple black denim kilt to cover my private bits and that’s about it. A fine down of ginger hair covers my chest and stomach, leading down to the edge of the kilt. I’m not in the worst shape ever, but I’m far from fit. I’ll never be a lightweight, too big boned, and as of right now, I could stand to lose thirty or so pounds. A distinct pot belly would make me nervous about being shirtless, if I weren’t in a land of magical, talking perpetually naked ponies.

She purses her lips and nods slowly. “I think I get it. . . You’re saying your stamina’s not too good.” I grimace, finding it distasteful to admit, but nod.

“Yeeaaaah.” I say, shrugging. “And, again, this is Pinkie, we’re talking about. Hyperactive, fuzz-ball, giggle-factory, perpetually-tweaking-on-a-sugar-rush, stamina-of-thirty-Wonderbolts-tanked-up-on-energy-drinks, Pinkie Pie.” I grimace again, this time in abstract fear. “I figure that, if I was to try to rut her right now, rather than fucking her into a stupid mess on the floor, she would do that to me, then keep going until I died of a heart-attack.”

She stared at me for a long, silent moment, head tilting left and then right as she eyed me up and down. “Dash?”

“Shush! Stand up.”

I blink and follow her lead, standing up, and she takes off, flapping around me at a slow hover. She nudges me out from the tree a bit with her head, the momentary contact of soft, prismatic mane on my naked back sending a small thrill down to my groin. Shit, I needed to get laid, bad.

After a few moments of eyeballing me, Dash flaps around and stops, hovering in place facing me. “Ok, I’ll do it!” She’s got that look in her eye, that says she’s spotted a challenge, and she intends to tackle it, and I smile.

“Really?”

She nods. “Totes! But, if we do this, we do it my way. You follow my lead, and do exactly as I tell you, got me, big guy?”

I purse my lips, but then shrugs. “Sure thing, Rainbow!”

I mean, what could it hurt?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Shit.

What the buck?! A dislike?! NOOOO!!!! Why, Goddess?! WHHHYYY!?!?!

Dude, calm the Everfree buck down! It’s one freakin’ thumbs down! Your LtD ratio is still going strong! You’re acting like it’s the end of the world!

Are you kidding me?! Are you actually bucking kidding me?!?!@>@<FMKSAN

Whoa, nelly! Calm down, your keyboard can’t take it!

Don’t you tell me to calm down! Please! Please my lovelies! I am sorry to have displeased you!!! Please, I’ll do anything! Anything! Just, please, take it back!

. . . . . . Seriously?

Hey, dude, ‘su-Holy Crap on Toast!

Oh, Hi, Dash.

WHHYYYY!?!?!?!

What the hay is wrong with him?

He. . . . just noticed the dislike on the story. . . . .

. . . . . Really? I mean, it’s been there for, like, twenty hours, or something!

I know, I know. I guess he was in denial.

He looks pretty bad.

Ehhh. . . .

Shine shoes? . . . *Sobs* . . . . Uggh. . . . Please. . . .

. . . . I dunno, I’ve seen worse.

Hey, uh. . . . Author dude?

. . . . Yes, o glorious blue one?

. . . . I could get used to this.

Dashie!

SOrry, sorry! Look, dude. . . . I dunno what you’re gettin’ all bent out of shape about. I mean, you are writing a porno-comedy fanfiction based off of a kid’s TV show. On the internet. Did you really not expect to catch some hate for that?

Of course not! My writing is far too good to receive ANY sort of negative review! HOW daaaare they!?
HOW DARE THEY!!! Do they not know?! Do they not see the effort and work that has gone into this?!

Umm. . . . Effort?

Work?

I pour my heart, soul and libido into my keyboard, and THIS is the thanks I get?!

I think that’s probably not too good for your keyboard, dude.

SILENCE, O PETITE AND FUZZY ONE!

Hey! What happened to “glorious”?! >.<

I shall teach them! I shall show them ALL THE POWER OF MY . . . . Something. I SHALL SHOW THEM!!!

Layin’ it on a bit thick there, aren’t you, bub?

SILENCE, PLEB!!!

Oh, buck it. No telling what he’s gonna go do, now.

You don’t think this’ll effect the story, do you?

Not for another six chapters, at least. He’s already got that many written.

He’s still doin’ a chapter a week, right?

DOOM! DOOM, I SAY!!! DOOOOOOM!!!!

Eeyup.

Six weeks? Ah, we’ll be fine then.

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!!!!!

Yeah, you’re probably right. Hey, wanna go get a drink?

Sure! I hear the Drunken Clop serves some sick vodka jelly shots!

Sweet!

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rainbow Dash led the way the next morning. She led the way . . . kinda south-westerly, sorta. The roads in Ponyville were weird, I dunno.

Anyway, she led me through the streets, which were bustling with activity as ponies from all over gathered around to set up their stalls in the market square and get to work on time. I was a bit surprised at how early Dash had told me to be at the park to meet her. It wasn’t typical of her, in the slightest. I never saw her up and about until nearly noon, most days. Like, ever.

But, she had my ass out of bed, dressed, shaved, showered and ready to face whatever she had in store for me by 05:00hrs, maggot! Her words, not mine. So, here I was, jogging along to keep up as she flew ahead of me. I had no idea where we were going, and I said as much.

“Where in the name of sweet Auntie Hel are you taking me, Dash?”

She looked over her shoulder, and I saw her tail twitch, as though to better cover herself. She was being extra defensive about that sort of stuff, and it was kinda cute and kinda hilarious. I wasn’t gonna hit on someone who wasn’t interested, why would I?

She snorted a breath and turned in midair to face me, crossing her hooves over her chest while she adopted a dominant posture. I could have told her that this exposed her crotch and the breasts that lie within, thus ruining her careful posturing of the morning, but I did not. No need to deflate her balloon, and besides. . . I liked eating solid food too much.

“Listen, dingus, you said it yourself! If you wanna have any hope of surviving Pinkie Pie, then you’re gonna need a lot more than just knowledge. If that was all it took, I’d just plop your ass down in Twilight’s library and let you have at some of her books!” She shook her head, vehemently, rainbow mane flipping around her face as she continued flying backwards, oblivious to how much skill it took to do so.

“No, if you wanna stand any chance, you’re gonna need to get your stamina up. And I know just the way to do it!”

I lifted an eyebrow at her. “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

As I asked the question she turned, leading me around a corner and then stopped before a small building with a connected, fenced off yard. Inside, a whole bunch of ponies jogged around a track, while others lifted weights, worked out on machines, or eyeballed one another. A sign above the front door of the building advertised it as the Ponyville Gym.

I turned and looked at Dash, disbelief plain on my face. “Oh, Goddess. . . “

She snorted, smirking at me with a sideways glance. “Just one question. . . . “

No.

Eeyup.

No!

Too laaaate!

Please, don’t. . . .

“. . . . Do you even lift, bro?”

“Shit.”

And let the montage begin!!! Mwahahahaha!!!!

The human jogged around the dirt track, wearing a dark grey tank top, track shorts and sweatbands on his wrists and head. He stared forward with determination burning in his eyes. His Pegasus trainer flew off to the side, shaking her head slowly.

He pumped iron on the bench, grimacing as his bicep bunched under the strain of the heavy dumbbell. A huge Pegasus with tiny little wings on his back stood to the side, counting, while the sky blue one narrowed her eyes thoughtfully.
And awesomely.

He worked his legs on one machine, strain making blood vessels pop on his forehead, his grimace starting to look less feigned now. His trainer stared at the amount of weight he was pushing, and rolled her eyes, sighing.

He did push-ups, the huge Pegasus once again keeping track of how many, while the blue trainer looked on, pursing her lips. The human collapsed in a sweat soaked pile on the ground and the sky blue Pegasus flew over by her fellow winged pony, glancing at the number of push-ups he had written on a sheet. She groaned visibly and face-hoofed.

“Seriously?! Dude! You’ve only been here an hour!”

I lifted my hand, groaning from where I lay, face down, in the dirt. “Fuck. Off. I am not doing this anymore!”

“Fuck you, dude! You asked for my help! Annnd I seem to recall you agreeing to do whatever I said!”

I could feel the smugness of her grin. I lay there for a long moment, trying to think of some way out of this.

I had nothin’.

“Well, fuck me.”

“No thanks, dude. Now get your flabby ass up, we’re gonna have to take off the filly gloves, here.”

He ran around the track, shirtless, carrying the blue Pegasus on his back, mouth open, screaming for oxygen while she goaded him on by lashing his thighs with her tail, which was surprisingly painful.

He lay on a bench, visibly crying as he was forced to lift a barbell, the big white Pegasus standing as his spotter while his trainer hovered over him, holding a small candle in her hoof, which she would occasionally tip, dripping the wax on his chest. (Kinky, I know. ;) )

He worked the leg machine, screaming into the bit in his mouth, while the cyan Pegasus pulled on the reins that were connected to it, swatting his side with a riding crop! (Oh, come one! Hahaha! That doesn’t even make sense! Yes, it does! How?! Because I say it does!)

He sprinted around the track, eyes burning, teeth gritted, as his feet carried him over the ground in a blur.

He pumped TWO barbells at once!

He broke the machine!

He did so many push-ups, the whole gym lost count!!!!

(. . . . Really? Shut up.)

Finally after much pain and agony, he ran up the steps of town hall and jumped into the air, his clenched fists held up high in victory, while his sky blue trainer stood to the side, making punching motions at the air. “Go get ‘em, Rock. Clean ‘is cock! I mean, clock!”

. . . . . I stopped jumping around like an idiot and glared at the author. First of all, bub, we are so getting sued for that. And, secondly, don’t you ever, ever write me in the third person again! Guugghh!! That was weird, like having an out of body experience!

Oh, stop your whining!

Oh, that’s not whining, thi-

Don’t. I mean it, or I’ll write you in third person for the rest of the story!

. . . . . Fine. Let’s get on with this!

Rainbow Dash blinked, looking around for a puzzled moment, then shook her head as though getting rid of an annoying fly. Probably because she was.

I mean it! Third Person!

Okay, okay, jeez.

“What the hay just happened?” She asked, blinking, and I shrugged.

“I think we just had a sports training montage.”

“Oh. Ok, that’s pretty awesome. I think.” She still seemed confused, so I snapped her out of it.

“So, Dash, how do I look?”

She turned and looked at me, and I saw her jaw drop and her eyes go wide, pupils AND irises both dilating down to tiny pinpricks. I blinked, swallowing pretty hard. “Is. . . I-Is it that bad?!” I asked, honestly concerned that I looked like some kind of freak, like that roid-raging Pegasus who worked at the gym.

She closed her mouth and swallowed, eyes going a bit fuzzy. “Wooow. . . “

“Dash? Dash!”

She snapped out of it, shaking her head and cleared her throat. “Uhh, right, uh. . . No, no, it’s not bad. . . It’s. . . really not bad!” She said, that last coming out a bit breathlessly.

I had to see this, so I headed into town hall. I noticed I was getting stared at, more than usual. A secretary tripped over her own hoof, a stallion spilled a cup of coffee onto his crotch, and Mayor Mare slammed face first into a wall, leaving a smear of drool behind her as she slid down it.

I ran into the bathroom, and froze before the mirror.

Oh, by the Nine. . . .

I. . . . I . . . . .

I was freakin’ ripped!

You’re welcome.

. . . . . Nngh. . . .

I’m sorry, what?

Nngh!. . . . Mmm. . . . Thank you. . . .

Pardon, I couldn’t quite make that out.

I said. . . Thank. . . you. . . .

Hmmm? Come again?

I SAID THANK YOU!!!

Hehehe. You are weeelcooome.

Yeesh, ya don’t have to be so smug about it.

Hahahaha.

And so, I stepped out of the town hall a new man, ready to take on the world, and rut a pink pony into a slavering mess! Hel, if I wanted to, I bet I could rut the whole town into a slavering mess! Fortunately, that wasn’t on my to-do list!

I walked over to Rainbow Dash, smirking, and looked at her. “So, what’s next on the to-do list, teach?”

She cleared her throat, looking me up and down and blew out a breath, a slow smile creeping over her face.

A long minute passed. “Dash? Daaashie? Helloooo? Rainbow Dash!”

She snapped out of it again, and laughed a bit manically, then nodded. “Right! That’s the physical part! Now, it’s time for the less fun side. . . .”

“I’m sorry, I must’ve misheard, did you say less fun? Than that?!”

She nodded. “Yep. Now, we get to go into that most dreaded of places. . . .”

I gulped, feeling a chill run down my spine at the look of sincere horror on her face. “W-W-Where’s that?”

She swallowed, hard, and looked me deep in the eyes.

She opened her mouth, taking a hesitant, fearful breath.

And she spoke, two little words.

“. . . . The Library.”

. . . . . . . . Really?

“Really, Dash? The library?!”

“Yeah! That place is freakin’ terrifying, dude!”

“But you love to read!”

She snorted as we walked along the road leading out of town towards Twilight Sparkle’s castle. “Yeah, Daring Do! She’s totally awesome! But that’s like, the ONLY thing I read! Well, that and Wonderbolts Monthly, but that’s mostly just for the pictures. I swear, she is so hot in that uniform. . . .”

“What was that?”

“Nothing! My point is, the library is FILLED with all kinds of books! About everything! And I mean everything!” She looked at me with a frightened twinkle in her eye. “It is a place made for eggheads, by eggheads, and awesome people need not apply! However, it’s also the only place I know of where you can learn about pony anatomy.”

“I think I’m gonna need something a bit more. . . explicit, than some biology textbook, Dash.”

“Ppffft! What do I look like, huh? I ain’t giving you no damn textbook to read!”

“You’re not?”

“Tartarus, no!”

I scratched my head, confused. “Then, what am I gonna study?”

She smirked, chuckling evilly. “Twilight’s stash.”

I pursed my lips, narrowing my eyes. “Her stash? Her stash of what, exactly, Dash?”

She glanced at me like I was an idiot. “Dude. . . I know you’re not that dense.” At my unmoving expression, she groaned and face-hoofed. “Think about it! Twilight is, like, the biggest nerd ever, surrounds herself with books all the time, and spent most of her formative years all by herself in an observatory! What kinda stash do you THINK I mean?!”

I blinked, a long slow one, and then my eyes widened. “Wait. . . Are you saying that Twilight Sparkle. . . .The ever-loving Princess of Friendship. . . . Founder of the School of Friendship. . . . Has a porn stash!?”

“Well, freakin’ duh! I bet she’s never even HAD sex before, dude! I swear, as pent up and nervous as she is, she has to get it out somehow, right?”

I shrugged. “I guess I always just assumed she . . . I dunno, locked it away in her memory palace or repressed it or some shit. I dunno.”

I continued thinking about this as we made our way towards the castle, it’s spires and pennants flapping in the breeze, in the distance. I had to say, now that I thought about it, it made sense. She was a living, breathing mare, the same as any other in Equestria. She had to have urges, and such. But she was an Alicorn Princess! If I started thinking about her looking at porn and jilling one out, then I’d have to think about Celestia or Luna doing the same.

Whelp, too late. Now that image is gonna be with me when I try to sleep tonight.

We finally walked up to the front door of the castle. Dash knocked, while I licked my tooth, rocking back and forth on my heels. The structure was. . . pretty impressive, all things considered. It wasn’t my first time seeing it. Hel, I’d even been inside once, right after I got here.

Thinking about that particular day was a bit off-putting. Not unhappy, mind you, just off-putting. As such, I turned my thoughts to something else. Inevitably, they returned to our reason for being here, and I once again felt a strange blush creeping up my neck.

I just couldn’t picture Twily having a porn stash. It was like being told Santa had a gimp suit. Just. . . no. She always seemed so friendly and innocent. I mean, not that there was anything wrong or evil about having a porn stash, I mean, no one could beat the one I had back on earth prime, as I liked to call it.

But, I think in the end, that was just it. In my mind, Twilight Sparkle was better than me. She was a freakin’ Alicorn Princess, a royal demi-goddess, for fuck’s sake! True, she wasn’t immortal, like the two sisters, but still. . . . The fact that she was, in the end, no different, no better than anyone else, including me, was a little off-putting, as well.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the door opening, revealing a big ol’ steamin’ pile of nothing on the other side. “Uhh. . . .” I slowly panned my eyes downwards, finally spotting the diminutive form of a purple scaled dragon with green fins standing, holding the door open.

“Oh, hi Rainbow, hi Fyren. ‘Sup?” Spike said, casually, smiling up at us both. Dash grinned down at him briefly, before zipping inside.

“Hiya, Spike. Hey, where’s Twilight? We need to talk to her about. . . something.”

Spike was young, but not an idiot, all evidence to the contrary, and he caught the hesitation in the blue Pegasus’ voice as I stepped over the threshold, into the delightfully cool shade of the castle foyer. The little guy shut the door and cocked his head at Rainbow.

“What are you wanting to talk to her about?”

“. . . . . Something.” Dash said, shooting him a sour glare.

Spike lifted his eyebrows and glanced at me, and I just shrugged. I wasn’t sure how open about this sort of thing Equestrians were with their young, but from all accounts, in spite of his teenager attitude, Spike was still considered a baby dragon. It was probably best to ere on the side of caution. As such, I kept my mouth shut, and followed Dash’s lead.

Surely, I had lost my mind, when that was my first decision.

Finally, Spike shook his head, shrugging. “Ok, fine, be all super secretive and stuff. She’s upstairs in her bedroom.”

Dash went to zip off, but then paused. “Uhh. . . . What’s she doin’ up there?”

Spike smirked and rolled his eyes. “She said she was organizing one of her private bookshelves.”

Dash suddenly grinned. A horrible, awful. . . Oh, yeah, made that joke already. A little less laziness, Author!

Bite me!

Tempting, but I might catch something. Like cancer.

. . . Hey, wait a minute, I don’t make that reference for another-

Uhh, what?! What reference?! I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about! Anyway, moving on!

Dashie grinned that grin, and tapped her hooves together. “Perrrrfect. . . . “ She purrrrrred, the look on her face making me more than mildly uncomfortable.

She zipped upstairs, and I looked at Spike, who just shrugged. I copied him, then started ambling up the stairs, my hands in the pockets of my kilt. I wasn’t even a third of the way up the flight when Rainbow zipped back into view, stopping a foot from my face.

“Will you hurry the hay up, dude! And be quiet!” The last was said in an overly dramatic whisper, right before she shot off like a prismatic rocket once again. I blew out an exasperated breath and started following her up the stairs at a light jog, trying to not make too much noise.

I thought Rainbow was crazy, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t hurt me if I screwed up whatever she was planning. In fact, it potentially meant the opposite. So, I stayed as quiet as possible, while also moving as fast as possible upstairs. No mean feat, if I do say so myself.

I met Dash at the end of a long hall, and she led the way down, stopping before a door that looked very much like all the others in the corridor. Seriously, Twily needed to get some freakin’ signposts or something set up with directions on them, this place had a serious case of the Tardis Flu going on. That, or Arthur Weasley had been at it like the trunk of his car. Either way, it did not look that big from the outside.

I quirked an eyebrow as Dash landed softly and, putting a hoof to her lips to demand silence, leaned over and pressed her ear up against the door, her face once more breaking out in that grin.

You know. . . .

. . . . That grin.

Mirroring her, I leaned down, pressing my ear up against the door, uncertain as to what we were doing. Sometimes, I wonder at how oblivious I am. Or is that just a certain author making me look stupid. . . . What, no comment? Maybe he’s worn out from the last chapter.

My thoughts went blank, however, once I got a clear listen at the sounds on the other side of the door.

I heard Twilight’s voice, softly murmuring. I pressed up closer to the door, wondering who she was talking to. It was at that moment, apparently, that she hit a sweet spot, because her voice suddenly came through, muffled but distinct.

”Ohhhh, baby, rut me just like that!”

And my face burst into flame.

However, I could not bring myself to draw away from the door.

”Oh! Oh, yeeesss. . . .Mmf! Oh. . . Sh-. . . Nnggh! Sh-Shining!”

My eyes went wide as saucers. Not only were we indirectly spying on Twilight’s masturbation session, but it involved an incestuous fantasy about her happily married brother! Oh, Goddess, fuck me in the ass with a ten foot dildo.

Dash leered and I saw her hoof reaching for the door knob, even as Twily’s moans started to peak. I reached out with my left hand and grabbed her foreleg, and she blinked up at me.

-What are you doing?!- I mouthed at her, glaring.

-Dude!- She mouthed back, and reached her other hoof for the door. My other hand shot out, grabbing hold, leaving my arms crossed at the elbow. Dash glared daggers at me.

-Let. Go.-

I gulped, and shook my head. She gave a silent snarl, repeating herself. I just shook my head. I mean, no pony, and I mean no pony was more petite, fuzzy and adoracute than Rainbow Dash. True, she might knock my teeth out with a sucker punch if she heard me say it, but I had both her forelegs under control.

What the hell was she gonna do?

I really am an idiot, aren’t I?

Shoving into me, her wings flapping, I found myself staggering back before I could dig my heels into the floor. It took a lot of strength to push back against her, surprising me. Her back hoof lashed out, kicking the door knob, and the door flew open behind her.

She smirked, and suddenly swept her wings in the opposite direction, pulling herself backwards, through the door, the momentum suddenly shifting in the direction I was pushing with all 190 plus pounds of my body weight.

It was at that moment, I knew. . . .

She spun in midair, pushing my left hand up, and pulling my right hand down, the arms, still crossed at the elbows, acting as a fulcrum, levering my body around. My feet left the floor and I was suspended in midair, very, very briefly.

Yep. I fucked up.

I slammed hard into the floor, my head aching, my ears ringing loudly enough that I was barely able to register the sound of Twilight’s shocked gasp from behind us.

My only thought as I lay there, blinking up at the ceiling was: Was that a labai throw?

How the fuck did she know how to do a freakin’ labai throw!?

I slowly sat up, looking at her smug, hovering face with a disoriented glare.

“How the fuck do you know how to do that?!”

She snorted, shaking her head. “Dude. You are talking to the pony who was top of her class at the Wonderbolt Academy!”

I stared for a minute, gears slowly creaking in my still addled brain pan.

Oh, yeah. That’s right.

Due to all the fliers, posters, figurines, coffee mugs and other such merchandise, along with the fact that they were a demonstration and stunt team, I kinda forgot.

The Wonderbolts were part of Equestria’s military.

I slowly lay back down. “Shit.” I said. It was becoming a habit.

Fortunately, my mind didn’t have to dwell on my monumental stupidity for long.

“What the buck are you two doing in here?!”

Oh, yeah. Twilight. I nearly forgot.

I sat up and turned, looking at Twilight where she sat on the big four-poster bed. She had a body pillow hugged up against herself, covering her body from view, but her left hoof was clearly wet, leaving a stain on the satin pillowcase.

There was a smell in the air; rich, deep and musky that did things instantly to my loins. It felt like someone had poured some hot cocoa down my veins and it had pooled in my groin. I gulped, eyes wide as I stared at the princess, speechless for fear that the thoughts that were running through my head would pop out my mouth if I so much as took a breath.

And they were most certainly not thoughts I wanted her to be privy to.

I’m pretty sure imagining bending a member of royalty over and pounding her ass until she screamed was illegal.

Rainbow Dash glanced up at Twily and smirked. “We came over to borrow your porn stash, but seems you were using it.” Twi’s face, already beet red, lit up like a neon sign and she glared at RD angrily.

“I-I ha-have no i-idea w-w-wh-what you are t-t-talki-king ab-b-bout, Rainbow Dash!” Her stutter was amazingly adorable, which was not a thought that should send a spike of lust through my cock.

Rainbow snorted. “Yeah, right, Twi! Then how do you explain all of that we heard through the door, huh?” She pressed her forehooves to her chest-floof and fluttered her eyes, voice going breathy, cracking in an attempt to sound like Twilight.

“’Oh, baby, baby, rut me like you mean it!’ Snrrkahahaha!!!” She burst out laughing, slapping one thigh with a hoof. That always looked like it should hurt, to me, but it didn’t seem to phase her. Twilight was staring, aghast.

“You. . . Y-You heard that?! H-How?! No one’s ever able to. . . .” Her eyes suddenly narrowed dangerously, and I got the impression the heat in her face wasn’t solely from embarrassment, anymore. I gulped, scooting backwards across the floor, as the Alicorn’s horn shimmered. Rainbow was snatched out of the air by a lavender aura of magic, and jerked up to hang, frozen in place, in front of the princess. Her garnet eyes shimmered in sudden fear.

“Rainbow Dash! Were you spying on me?!” The anger in Twilight’s face should have utterly killed my boner, right then and there. But it didn’t. If anything, it raged harder, throbbing hard enough that if I’d been standing, I probably would have fallen to my knees.

Gimme a break, I’d been here for three months and hadn’t had any company but that of my hand for the whole time. And while Lefty is loyal to a fault, he’s not quite the same as an actual person, now is he?

“How dare you! And to bring poor Fyren into this?! You should be ashamed of yourself, Rainbow Dash! What do you have to say for yourself, hm?” With that, Twilight released the pegasus, who flopped to the floor at the foot of the bed, shivering, and tapped her hooves together, while the Princess sat above her, back straight, seeming to tower in spite of her small stature.

She had also sat the pillow aside, and my eyes got a real good look at how slick and wet the hairs of her tail were.

I was so going to be sent to Tartarus before the day was out.

Dashie gulped. “Well, ya see, Twi, i-i-it’s like this. . . .Uhh. . . . Well, Fyre here was asking for my help with. . . er, s-something. . . .”

“Oh?” Twilight frowned, glancing aside at me, and I shifted position, crossing my legs in hopes of hiding the evidence of my arousal until she looked back at Dash. “And what was that?”

Dash continued, still nervous, but her confidence starting to return, now that Twilight seemed to be calming down, at least a little. “Well, you see, he was wanting. . . . Well, he was wanting to learn more about pony anatomy. . . . Specifically mare anatomy. . . . “

Twi’s frown turned puzzled. “W-Why would he want to learn about that?”

“Uhh. . . .”

I took pity on the poor Pegasus. “Because I want to, uh. . . I wanna have sex with Pinkie Pie.” I glanced at Rainbow and saw the look of gratitude on her face. My glance spoke volumes. -You owe me one.-

Twilight, however, noticed none of this interplay, as she was busy choking on . . . air? I think if she’d been getting a drink of water at that moment, we’d have had an awesome spit take. As it was, drool was running from her maw as she attempted to get her larynx back under control. The sight of the strand of saliva dangling from her chin did things to my body that made my head spin and more of those wicked, gonna-get-raped-in-prison thoughts flicker through my mind.

Finally, she managed to get enough air in her lungs to speak. “Are you fucking crazy?!”

Honestly, the curse falling from her lips shocked me more than anything else that day, and really drove home how serious she was. I smiled sheepishly. “No, Twilight. I’m not. I know that I could very well die in the attempt. It’s why I asked Rainbow for help. I knew I needed to build up my stamina, as well as my knowledge on how to please a pony, if I wanted any chance.” I sat up, lifting my arm and flexing my new found muscle. “Well, she already helped me get ripped, so now it’s just a matter of building my working knowledge of a mare’s anatomy.”

She stared at me for a long, silent moment, a look of something bordering on pity in her eyes. “You poor, naive boy.”

I blinked. “Whut?”

She just shook her head, looking down. “You’re clearly determined to go through with this. As such, I feel bound to help you in any way I can, to at least mitigate the damage as much as possible.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but she held up a hoof. “No, Fyre. Don’t say anything. You were right to go to Dash for help with your stamina. She’s the best athlete in Ponyville, maybe even all of Equestria.”

“Maybe?” Dash muttered, but a glare from Twi silenced her. The look softened however, even blooming into a small, embarrassed smile, as she looked back at me.

“And, admittedly, Dash was right to bring you here to expand your knowledge.” Another, softer but no less real glare, set Rainbow Dash, THE Rainbow Dash, to blushing and looking adamantly ashamed of herself. “That said, however, she should have brought you here to ask for my help, rather than to try and steal my porn.”

“We weren’t gonna steal it, Twi, j-just borrow it for a while!”

“Without permission?”

“Errr. . . . M-maybe?”

Twilight sighed, face-hoofing. I held up a hand softly, and Twilight, ever the eager teacher, looked up, nodding. “Yes, Fyre?”

“So. . . . You’re not denying having a porn stash, anymore?” I asked, almost wishing she would deny it, vehemently, and then kick us out of the door so I could go rub one out, thereby exorcising the demons from my brain.

Instead, she gave that sheepish smile again, and toyed with her bed sheets with one hoof. “No, I’m not going to deny it. Why should I? Yeah, it’s a bit embarrassing, and it was most certainly NOT alright, how you two barged in here! But, even so, it is a perfectly natural thing, and nothing to be ashamed of.” She said, looking much more confident by the end of her little speech.

It made my dick throb, and I gulped.

“Uhh, so. . . You’ll let me borrow the porn collection?” I asked, smiling nervously.

“No.” She said, looking down at me, her nostrils flaring as her breathing seemed to get a bit heavier.

I blinked. “N-No? But, then. . . . I thought you said you’d help me?”

“And I intend to, but if you are really determined to try to have sex with Pinkie, then you’re going to need a lot more than simple knowledge.” The look on her face was a strange mixture of fear and eagerness, which sent a jarring thought through my brain that chased all of the others out.

No. It couldn’t be. . . . I had to know for sure. So, feeling like I was signing my death warrant, I opened my big mouth and asked the question.

“What do you mean?”

She took a shaky breath and nodded. “Y-You’re going to need experience. And I’m willing to give it to you.”

I stared, mouth gaping open in shock, brain wiped blank of anything other than her words, when Dash’s laugh broke the silence. “Hahahaha! You?! Like you’ve ever gotten laid!”

Twilight glared indignantly at the Pegasus. “I have so!”

“Oh, yeah? When?”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “On my last visit to Canterlot!”

“With who?!” Rainbow Dash demanded, eyes narrowed in return.

Twilight blushed softly. “I, er. . . I have a, um. . . friend, yes, a friend, in the Solar Guard.” Her blush turned brighter, but her eyes became a bit lidded, and her tongue, small and pink, darted out and licked her lips. “And he is more than happy to help me. . . . tend to myself.” She said, sighing with a smile.

Rainbow gaped, blinking. “W-What?! Are you serious?!” Twilight looked at Dash, frowning.

“Rainbow Dash, I don’t see how it would be any of your business, who I have sex with, and when. Why are you acting like I should have told you?”

“But. . . But I always. . . . I just assumed. . . . “

“What? That I was a hopeless virgin who would die forever alone?”

“Umm. . . . Nooo?”

Twilight face-hoofed and shook her head. “Rainbow, sometimes you can be so infuriating!”

Rainbow just shrugged, and Twilight turned back to me. “So, Fyre. How do you feel, about the idea of my helping you in this way? I don’t want to force you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.” She said, honestly seeming concerned, and it made me hesitate on my answer.

Finally, I spoke. “I just need to know one thing, first. . . . “

She looked at me, her eyebrows raised in question.

“Is Celestia gonna kill me, if I do this?”

She stared for a moment, then pursed her lips. “I doubt it. I was her star pupil, yes, but she understands that I’m a grown mare and am free to make my own choices. She also knows that I’m powerful enough to take care of myself and that I wouldn’t let you do this if I didn’t want to.” She blushed, glancing down at me, and I felt her eyes trail over my whole body this time. She licked her lips again, smiling. “And I do want it, Fyre. Call me weird if you want, but I’ve wanted to know what you’d feel like since I first met you.”

I felt my heart stutter, my stomach drop and my cock throb, all at the same time. It made my head spin.

I stood up slowly, licking my lips, mind coming to terms with what she had said. I could do this. I could have Twilight Sparkle, and nothing bad would happen. A little voice in my head tried saying that was too good to be true, but it was quickly shut down and sentenced to solitary by the raging lust that was rampaging through my mind at that moment.

I smiled, feeling it stretch my face into a dark, sensual leer.

Or, at least, I hoped it was dark and sensual, and not just creepy.

“Ok, then. I want it to, Twily.” I saw her shudder at the nickname, the one her brother always called her. I remembered what I had overheard at the door, and my leer turned into a smirk. I walked over to the bed, standing up to my full height. With her sitting up on the bed and me standing, it put our heads at about equal height, mine perhaps a bit above hers. Still, it gave me the perfect angle.

I walked right up to her, and reached out, grabbing her mane firmly but gently. I leaned in, and kissed her.

No, not just kissed. I freakin’ ravaged her mouth, my tongued slipping out and licking across her lips and teeth, demanding entry. I felt her stiffen at first, but then she melted against me, opening her maw to me without any argument, a low moan sounding in the back of her throat as I pressed my mouth into hers.

It felt weird, but in no way did it feel bad. It was. . . .different, from anything I’d experienced before, but that, too, was more than alright. I leaned into her, enjoying the feeling of the soft fur around her lips as my tongue danced a tango in her mouth. But it took two to tango, and I flicked her own my muscle with mine, goading it to life.

As she rose from her surprise, her tongue began to lash at mine. I felt one of her hooves slip around behind me, sliding up my back to play with my braid where it hung down between my shoulder blades. Her other hoof slid down, playing around the waistband of my kilt, and my breathing got heavier.

I slid my other arm around her back, and felt her wings, at full mast behind her, in the midst of the mother of all wingboners. I ran my fingers along the edges of the soft feathers, and she gasped into the kiss, shivering. Smiling, I pinched the bony ridge along the outside of her wing, and she jerked, her mouth leaving mine as a moan of pleasure was torn from her throat.

I smirked, leaning down and beginning to nibble, lick and kiss along her throat, while my hand continued to fondle and massage her wing. She twitched and shuddered and moaned like a slut at my treatment of her, and it made my cock throb all the harder. That smell was everywhere, permeating the air around me. The smell of an aroused mare, and it made me nuts.

I shifted, pushing her back, until she lay down on the bed, panting, face flushed, eyes heavy lidded as they stared at me from behind her lashes. Her legs spread open without being asked, and there it was.

Her pussy was puffy, the lips swollen with need. As I watched, something odd happened; it twitched, opening and closing at one end in a rapid movement that revealed a slick, wet button of pink flesh from inside the dark, blue-black folds. I knew immediately that must be her clit. I assumed the odd ‘winking’ effect was a circumstance of her arousal, and, the more I watched it, the more it began to turn me on.

Above that dripping love tunnel was her breasts, small and pert, nipples erect from the situation and the kiss, and just below her sweet sex was her anus, an equally puffy donut of pony flesh that was just begging to be played with. However, that might come at a later time. For now. . . .

I climbed into bed, sliding her back across the sheets a bit so I was comfortable, and then I bent down, looking up into her eyes as they followed me, widening in anticipation as I leaned forward over her groin. I lightly nuzzled over her breasts, smiling as she twitched at the feeling. My tongue flicked out, skipping over one nipple, the hard little bead of flesh hardening a bit at the contact.

I glanced up at her sigh of pleasure, and smiled at her, moving down slightly, so I was positioned above her sex. My breath washed over it, and I saw her take a breath at the feeling.

Smiling, I looked down into the epicenter of that delicious smell. It was drooling everywhere, each wink of the fleshy folds sent a fresh stream of her hot mare-slick cascading down, over her ponut, across her dock and through the silky strands of her tail. I licked my lips, and then, without hesitation, dove in.

The taste was . . . amazing. Girls back home weren’t all that great, to the taste buds, and it was really easy to tell if they hadn’t cleaned themselves regularly or recently. This, though. . . . It tasted like it smelled, rich, musky and oh, so divine. My tongue ran a long, slow drag from her clitoral hood down to the bottom of her sex, and then back up, where it played circles around her button. Her pussy seemed to contract, staying winked open for a long moment, leaving her clitoris available for my ministrations.

I leaned in, taking it into my mouth, suckling at it, before clinching it gently between my teeth. Her back arched, eyes going unfocused as a shudder ran through her body, more juices streaming out over my chin. I didn’t think this was a full blown orgasm, not yet, at least.

I sucked harder on her sensitive little button, pulling it in, nipping lightly, and flicking my tongue across it. She moaned, forehooves pressed into her own chest-floof, back arching, hips driving her slit into my mouth, tail flicking, painting my bare chest with her sex fluids.

I slid my hands under her sexy rump, lifting it and bracing it, like the table I was dining from, and slipped my mouth off of her clit, earning a disappointed sigh, which quickly morphed into a scream of ecstasy as I slid my tongue between her nether lips and started working it around inside of her.

I had become vaguely aware of Rainbow Dash, who had flown up to sit on the side of the bed a few feet away from us, sitting back against one of the bedposts, mouth open, wings spread wide and one hoof working at her own sex. Apparently, she was enjoying the show.

I smirked, running my tongue from base to top and back, before leaving Twi’s pussy behind, kissing and licking across her belly and chest, before I kissed her. Twilight’s tongue happily lapped at the inside of my mouth, tasting her own juices on my tongue. My cock was throbbing, and it needed release. But, as a new citizen of Equestria, it was my duty to service my princess, and her needs should of course “come” before my own.

Damn, that pun was so bad it could nearly distract one from the awesome sexiness going on!

Shut up, Author, I’m busy!

I broke the kiss, a string of drool connecting our mouths for a moment, before I quickly moved down, taking the Alicorn’s clit once more between my teeth, sucking and nipping. She responded with the same level of enjoyment as she had before, but I was going to end that, quickly enough.

I slid one hand around, playing my fingers lightly over her sex, thinking that she had probably never felt anything like them, before. She shivered at the touch, which was all well and good, but my guess was proven right in the next moment, as I slid one finger inside her warm, twitching tunnel. It felt like hot, wet velvet around my finger, and the thought of my cock buried inside of it nearly tipped me over the edge.

It did tip Twilight over, or at least, my finger did.

One minute she was moaning, working her hips into my face and just in general enjoying her tongue job, and the next her whole body went stiff like it had hit a live wire, her hips spasmed, slamming her cunt into my mouth as her head went back, a scream spilling from her throat as she literally exploded, spouting the sweet, musky nectar of her pleasure all over my face, neck and chest.

I pulled back, afraid I might drown in the flood, and watched, smiling cockily as she rode her orgasm from one peak to another. I wiggled my finger inside of her, watching her body jerk and twitch at the sensation. I pumped the digit in and out of her at a steady pace, watching as it built on her high, tipping her over the edge again. My hand became thoroughly soaked, her whole body twitching in lustful pleasure, her eyes rolling up as small, whimpering sighs issued from her parted muzzle.

Finally she slowly came down, her body relaxing, and I gently slid my finger out of her, the sensation causing her to shiver in pleasure and sigh, softly. After a few moments, she opened her sweet, violet eyes and looked fuzzily up at me, smiling through a fog of pleasure.

“Wow.” She said, and I smirked.

“That good, was I?”

She just panted softly, staring up at the canopy of her bed. It was then we became aware, again, of the laboured panting and moaning from the other side of the bed. Both our heads turned, and I got my first good, unobstructed look at Rainbow’s pussy. The flesh was a lighter colour by far than Twilight’s, but it was still darker than the fur that surrounded it. It was swollen, heated with need, and her hoof was roughly rubbing at it. It looked, again, like something that should hurt, but the pleasured look on the Pegasus’ face made it clear she was enjoying herself.

I couldn’t help but think it, that I could help her enjoy herself more, and I was evidently not the only one.

Twily’s magical aura once again grabbed hold of the winged pony, and pulled her over the bed, laying her down to rest at the head of the bed amongst Twi’s pillows. The Alicorn released her to flop back into the comfy nest, and the Pegasus blinked.

I would say she blinked owlishly, but that might be taking the puns too far, even for me.

Twilight rolled over onto her belly, and then slithered forward, towards Rainbow Dash, who’s eyes cleared a bit of their arousal, widening with a small spark of fear. “Uh, T-Twilight? What’re you-gaahah!!” Her words were cut off in a gasp as Twilight nuzzled the inside of her thigh and ran her tongue across the edge of the blue Pegasus’ dripping slit. I felt my poor, ignored cock throb hard and loud, and gulped.

“Shush, Rainbow.” Twilight said, and I could hear the smirk in her voice, even though I couldn’t see it. “I’m going to give you something better than your hoof.”

“B-B-But I don’t-ahh!” Again, Twily cut her off with a flick of her tongue.

“Rainbow, don’t lie. We all know that you’re into mares. It doesn’t matter, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Rainbow blinked down at her, grinding her teeth. “But. . . I . . . I always worried you’d think I was weird, or you’d be uncomfortable around me. . . .”

Twilight nuzzled her thigh again. “For my part, Rainbow, I live in a castle with two other mares, one of whom I am very close with. You honestly thought I hadn’t done things like this, before?”

Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck, blushing, and I shifted my position, where I could watch both of them. Rainbow shot me a look, as though just then remembering I was there.

I held up my hands as though to say -I’m not even here!-

Another small lick from Twi made the Pegasus’ eyelids flutter, and she glanced down at the Alicorn, who smiled up at her.

“And, as for the one I know you’re really worried about. . . . I don’t know how Applejack would feel. I think she is the only one of us who is a bit oblivious about it. . . .” I saw Rainbow’s ears droop, and she looked away, before a soft nuzzle to her thigh brought her rosy eyes back to her friend.

“Dash, we’re your friends, all of us. And no matter what, I know that we’ll all still love you.”

I saw Dash’s face almost break, before she glanced away and cleared her throat, then looked back at Twilight with her patented smirk on her face. “Well, of course you will! I mean, this is me, we’re talkin’ about!”

For the first time, I realized how much of Dash’s confidence was a mask, put up to hide her worries and insecurites from those around her.

Twilight smiled softly, kissing her friend’s thigh once more. “You bet, Rainbow. Best flier, and friend, in all Equestria.” Rainbow blushed, touching Twi’s mane softly, mask cracking once more.

“Thanks, Twi. Thanks a bunch.”

D’awwwww!

I think I’m diabetic now.

I know, right?!

Ok, back to the fun stuff before we forget this is supposed to be a porno-comedy!

Twilight smiled softly up at Rainbow, then slid her face down and slicked her tongue across the Pegasus’ netherlips. The winged pony relented, finally, and her back arched, head tipping back as a pleased moan issued from her mouth. Twilight worked her friend over with the kind of love and care she deserved, and it wasn’t long before Rainbow was grinding her hips into the Alicorn’s face, groaning and panting.

With a shuddering jerk, the Pegasus stiffened all over, eyes rolling back into her head as a long, low moan came from her. I watched her pussy overflow, flooding Twilight’s mouth with her mare-cum. The Alicorn was braver than I had been, staying with her face buried in the other mare’s slit, eating and lapping at her as she flew on the currents of orgasm.

After several long moments, Rainbow finally started coming down, giggling a bit in uncontrollable happiness as her body felt the afterglow of euphoria. Twily wasn’t done, however, and kept planting small, soft kisses along the blue Pegasus’ sex.

The purple Alicorn looked up at me, and shifted, coming up onto her rear legs, causing her ass to stick up into the air. She lifted her tail, flipping it, and wet drops of her juice spattered my chest and face, catapulted by her movement. She looked me in the eye, a sultry smile on her face, and winked.

“I’m going to keep tending to Dash. While I do, how about you ditch that kilt and rut me like a stallion?”

I felt my breath catch, and then I leered, sitting up and quickly removing my kilt. All six and half inches of my cock sprang into view, and I saw both mares stare at it, gulping. Normally, I wouldn’t think of it as being all that special. I mean, it wasn’t that far from average, at least back home. But, I suppose when dealing with magical pastel ponies, the biggest of whom, that I had met, wasn’t much larger than a Great Dane, it was pretty good sized.

Considering neither of these two would ever be considered anything other than ‘petite’, even by their own kind’s standards, I’m sure it probably looked huge. Sheesh, Rainbow’s head barely came up to my hip when she was on all fours, and Twily was only an inch or so taller.

The thought made my lust peak once more. I had always had a thing for size differences.

I threw the kilt aside and moved across the bed, so I was kneeling behind Twilight. I admired the view for a moment, but couldn’t not touch. I mean, can you really blame me?

My hands came to rest on her ass cheeks, and I heard her take a short breath, even as Rainbow’s sudden low sigh made it clear the Alicorn had gone back to work on her sex.

I massaged the sexy lavender plot in front of me with my hands, working my fingers into the soft fur and the plump flesh beneath. Twily was no athlete, but she wasn’t in bad shape, either. She wasn’t muscular, or terribly strong, although she wasn’t too soft. Basically, she was average, I guess. In that moment, though, after three long months of being in this world without any hope of getting laid, she had the body of a fucking fertility goddess.

I spread her soft cheeks, admiring the view, and couldn’t help but wonder how much it would jiggle. . .

I couldn’t resist, and drew a hand back and lightly slapped one plump rump-cheek. Twilight gasped and shivered, pushing her ass back at me, and I smiled, doing it again.

“You like that, Twily?” I asked, not really thinking about what I called her.

She stiffened, shivering, and I heard her voice, throaty with need. “Y-Yes, Shining. . . .”

Whoa!

Kinky.

Ok, I could get into this.

With a smirk, I smacked her ass again, rubbing the cheek with my palm, watching it jiggle a bit. “Have you been a bad filly, Twily? Does your brother need to punish you?”

She groaned into Rainbow’s crotch, the other mare tipping her head back as the sound reverberated through her sensitive folds. “Oh, y-yes. . . Please, br-brotheeerr. . . . “

Twilight looked over her withers at me, eyes glazed and face flushed. She blinked, looking at me, and I saw her ears droop a bit, in recognition of how weird she must be coming across. I leaned forward, one hand still stroking her butt, while the other petted her mane soothingly. “It’s ok, Twi. Nothing wrong with having a fetish, and nothing bad about having a bit of roleplay in bed.” I winked, and she smiled softly, before turning back to Rainbow with renewed vigour.

I sat back on my heels, petting her ass a bit more, before stroking one hand up her tail, feeling the wet, slightly sticky residue of her earlier pleasure on the strands of hair. I slipped my hand down to the base of her tail, feeling that small patch of bare flesh on the underside, just above her anus. I stopped and ran my thumb over it for a moment, watching her wings stiffen a bit more in pleasure, and smiled, filing it away for future reference.

Then, I took a firm grip on the base of her tail, making sure it stayed up and out of the way, and leaned forward, rising up on my knees. With a shaky breath, I used my free hand as a guide, and pressed the head of my cock against her slick, wet folds, and then leaned forward.

The ease with which it slipped in surprised me, causing me to get about halfway inside without even realizing it, until her inner walls suddenly clamped down on me like a warm, wet, velvet vice. She moaned, wings fluttering, and I shut my eyes for a minute, breathing heavily as I got myself accustomed to the amazing feeling of being inside of her.

I was, wasn’t I?

I was inside the Princess of Friendship.

Holy shit, I was fucking Twilight Sparkle.

I felt a jolt of adrenaline course through my veins, as I slapped her ass again, her muffled groan and Rainbow’s stuttering pants egging me on as I drew my cock out of her until only the tip remained. I stayed like that for a moment, moving my hips in tiny circles, slipping the head of my dick in and out of her, teasing us both, before, with a grunt, I grabbed her by the hip and thrust myself hard into her.

My body slapped into hers, her ass jiggling sexily from the impact, as I bottomed out in her, feeling the tip just barely brushing her cervix. The petite princess threw her head back, momentarily forgetting about Rainbow as her eyes rolled back and a yelp came from her throat.

I looked up, gulping. “Y-You alright, Twilight?” I asked, through gritted teeth.

After a couple of panting breaths, she nodded. “Y-Yeah, Fyre. . . And. . . C-Call me ‘Twily’, please?” Her voice was small, still a bit embarrassed about this very personal kink of hers. I smiled a bit. “Sure thing. . . Sis.” I said, and she shivered.

The feeling of it was all I needed. I leaned forward, petting her mane while gently guiding her head back down to Rainbow’s snatch, and then I moved back to position, got a firm grip on her again, and drew my cock out, only to thrust it back in again, just as deep. I set the rhythm, not fast, not slow, just steady and strong.

The sounds in the room were enough to drive me nuts. My hips slapping against her ass. My balls smacking her pussy with light pops. The slight sucking, squelching sound made as her dripping cunt tried to cling to my cock. The wet sounds of her giving Dashie the mother of all tongue lashings, and the moans, grunts and pants of all three of us, lost in our own pleasure.

It wasn’t long, before I heard Rainbow’s cracking voice. “Oh, C-Celestia, Twi. . . R-Right there! Don’t y-y-ou dare stop!” I saw her eyes rolling up, wings twitching and spasming, and then her back arched, and she came, again, a silent scream twisting her face as she shuddered and jerked.

The sight and smell of all that sweet mare-cum flooding the room was like a jolt of lightning, and I felt my pace pick up. I ran my hand up Twily’s back, massaging her wings softly, watching her twitch and arch her back into my touch.

“Oh, Goddess, Twily, you’re beautiful.” I heard myself say, and could not take it back. She really was a beauty. I felt more than saw her blush, and definitely felt the very deliberate feeling of her pussy clenching around my cock as she tightened her muscles.

I groaned, leaning back to get a better angle as I slammed my shaft into her body over and over again.

I was beginning to feel a growing sensation in my stomach. I knew what it meant, and it was going to be a big one.

I bit my lip, my rhythm stuttering for a moment. “Tw-Twily! I. . . nnggh, I’m gonna cum!”

She threw her head back, looking at me from one big, violet eye. “Yes! Yes, cum for me! Cum for me, Shining!” She begged, her eyes drifting shut as she lost herself utterly to her fantasy. Somewhere down deep, I felt a little flicker of warmth at the thought that I could help her come to terms with this fantasy she knew she could never really have.

Growling in pleasure, I smacked her ass again. “You want your big brother’s cum? Yeah, you want me to paint your womb with it?”

“Oh, fuck yes! Cum in me! Cum in your sister!”

I groaned, grabbing her ass firmly and started literally pounding that tight, pony pussy as fast and hard as I could. She started making a high pitched, half scream, half moan which was turned into a staccato beat by how much her body shook with each jarring thrust I made into her.

“Here it comes!” I yelled, and then bottomed out in her with a loud, guttural moan. My balls tightened up, and spilled the biggest load I had potentially ever had into her, literally filling her to the brim. I felt some start dripping out around my shaft.

However, I was a bit preoccupied to notice all of this, as, even through the rush of my own orgasm, I heard Twilight scream. “Oh, fuck, Shining, YES!”

I looked at her through the clench of my climax to see her whole body arching up off the bed. She had both forehooves pressed into her chest floof and only Rainbow’s hooves on her withers kept her from falling on top of the blue Pegasus, who stared up at her through foggy eyes like she was a goddess in mortal form.

In that moment, I think I was looking at her like that, too.

Her horn glowed and sparked, the magic sending out little bursts that actually sent random books and trinkets clattering to the floor or flipping cartwheels through the air. Her mane practically floated around her as she shuddered, jerked and screamed in pleasure.

My own orgasm had ended, my sack emptied of it’s payload, but hers kept going, until she was hanging, suspended, tongue lolling from an open mouth as she jerked and shuddered in pleasure.

She finally, finally started coming down from it, body going utterly limp as she collapsed into Rainbow.

I drew out of her, watching her shudder at the sensation, and she slid down Dash’s body until her head was resting on the Pegasus’ thigh. Her eyes were half open, but they weren’t seeing anything in front of her.

I looked up at Dash, and watched her yawn with a smile, and a warm, content look on her face. With that, she burrowed down into Twilight’s pillows, eyes sliding shut while one hoof stroked the other mare’s mane.

Holy shit.

I had just fucked an Alicorn Princess.

Into a stupor!

Maybe my quest wasn’t as hopeless as it seemed!

However, right now, I really, really needed to get cleaned up. Looking around, I spotted an open door which clearly led into a bathroom. Getting up to weak legs, I staggered off to wash myself up. . . .

I staggered out of the bathroom and stopped, looking at Dash and Twily where I left them on the bed. Dash out like a lamp, snoring, her legs and wings spread wide, pussy still glistening wetly and winking slightly from the heat of her arousal, and the number of times she had climaxed under Twilight's tender ministrations.

On the part of the lavender Alicorn, the Princess of Friendship was still conscious, but only barely, her eyes closed to slits and drool running form her partially opened mouth, pooling on Dashie's inner thigh where her head was pillowed. Her pussy was gaping slightly, loose and worn from the pounding I had given it. My cock was still a bit sore and sensitive from it.

I gulped, not believing what had just happened. Still, it had been quite eye opening, in regards to pony anatomy. The reason for our visit had certainly been met, in spades.

I was contemplating simply joining the two mares in the bed, when I heard a sudden clatter from behind me. Whirling, I found myself looking down at a light blue unicorn with a flowing mane that was an even lighter blue, who had fallen out of the interior of Twilight's closet, and was staring up at me, upside down from her back, blinking large blue eyes at me in shock and panic.

My eyes narrowed. "Spying, Trixie?"

Regaining her composure as quickly as possible, she harrumphed and crossed her forelegs over her chest, sticking her nose up in the air with a sneer. "The Great and Powerful Trixie does not spy. She simply observes things." She opened her eyes again, gulping, and bit her lip. "Although, this is the f-first time I've seen . . . that." She said, looking over at the bed.

"Really? I gathered that Twi 'tended to herself' on a regular basis."

"Well, yes, of course she does. . . Not that Trixie would have been watching her doing so!"

"Right. Of course not." I said, not believing a single damn thing the snooty uni had to say.

She made a low sound under her breath, still chewing softly on her lip. It was then I noticed that the smell of aroused mare, which I had passed off previously as being simply left overs from the fuck-fest of the last hour, was in fact quite strong, and was emanating from the unicorn lying in front of me. Glancing down, I saw how tightly she was clenching her rear legs, but it didn't hide the wet, glistening juice dribbling down over her plot and across the hairs of her tail.

I smirked, feeling my cock stirring once more. "Would you like to reenact what happened?" I asked, smirking, and she looked up at me, eyes wide, and gulped.

"W-W-What?! I, er, I mean. . . The Great and Powerful Trixie has no need for such. . . base. . . debauched. . . dirty. . . sexy. . . . Grrrr, OKAY, FINE!!!" She gave a panting, exasperated, horny grunt, and her legs shifted apart, revealing her dripping, rapidly winking cunt.

That pretty much assured my dick was at full attention, and my smile turned dark as I reached down, picking the slender unicorn up, hefting her in my grasp and bracing her weight across both of my arms. She gave a startled squeak and wrapped her forehooves around my neck, glaring at me. "W-Warn Trixie before doing that again, p-please!"

"Oh, but of course!" I said, looking around, and walked over to the vanity in the corner. I used a foot to shove the chair around until it was facing out into the room proper, and then I sat her down in it, on her back, legs spread, and knelt in front of her. Technically, she was as wet as she needed to be right now. But I wanted a taste and, besides, it couldn't hurt to learn a bit more about mare anatomy.

She was watching me with wide eyes as I smirked up at her, and leaned forward, breathing softly across the sensitive, over-heated flesh of her pussy. Her winking picked up speed along with her breathing, and a bead of her nectar dripped out, running down over her tail.

There was no way in either Hel or Tartarus I was going to ignore that, and I bent down and ran my tongue up and over the bit of soft flesh on the underside of her tail and right over her anus. She jerked, sucking in a sharp, gasping breath at the contact, and I flicked my eyes up, smirking at the shocked and aroused look on her blushing face.

I paused, running my tongue around the ring of that slick ponut, lapping up the succulent sex juices that had run across it, eyes staying on hers the entire time. Her eyelids fluttered, her breathing coming in short, sharp gasps while her forehooves were pressed in an amazingly adorable way to her chest-floof.

My cock throbbed at the sight, smells and tastes I was experiencing, and I momentarily thought about sitting up and fucking that tight little plothole, but that would have meant standing up, and I was pretty sure my legs weren’t quite up to that. Not to mention my dick was still so sore from my “encounter” with Twi and Dash that I was pretty sure trying to force it, without lube, into a young pone’s virgin ass would have probably caused me to black out.

And the fact that ass was virginal was beyond question. Both Trixie’s reaction to my treatment of it, and the sheer tightness of the little pucker as I ran my tongue over it made it abundantly clear. I whirled my tongue over it once more, then leaned in, pressing my lips to her donut and pushing my tongue against it, feeling it slip inside slightly.

“O-Ohh, Celestia!” She gasped, body stiffening up all over, as she looked down at me with wide eyes, trembling all over, mouth hanging open. Her tongue slipped out of her mouth slightly, and I smiled, moving my head back and forth, wiggling my tongue into her ass deeper. The taste was. . . cleaner, than I was expecting in one way, but in another, given how arrogant the unicorn was, it only made sense she probably cleaned herself up really thoroughly. Nonetheless, there was a distinct musky flavour that I was sure many would probably not appreciate. I didn’t mind it though, and in my aroused state, everything felt amazing.

Still, all good things comes to an end, and I slowly pulled back, dragging my tongue out of her ass, leaving a string of drool dangling between my lips and her ring, which broke and joined the now veritable stream of pussy juice running down from her rapidly winking cunny.

The sight and smell of it, along with the look on her addled, drooling face, bright red with an amazingly intense blush, drove all thought of anything else out of my mind. Standing, I leaned forward, bracing one hand on the back of the chair, and pressed the tip of my cock against her pussy, using my hand to pull the foreskin back as I did. The head of the shaft was instantly coated in her hot, slick juices, and the feeling drove me nuts.

Without hesitating, or pausing to admire the way she shivered at the touch of my cock, I thrust my hips and slid half my cock into her warm, wet love tunnel in one smooth, fast stroke. My head went back, a grunt leaving my lips as my eyes fluttered. I heard her gasp and then moan, felt her rear legs wrap around my waist, squeezing as though to pull me in closer, and I obliged, another pump of my hips bottoming me out in her, my hips smacking her ass while my balls slapped wetly against her moist anus.

The feeling was apparently too much for the overstimulated mare, who went stiff as a board, every muscle in her body clenching taut as a drum. And I mean every. Freakin’. Muscle. My teeth clenched and a groan left me as her pussy locked down tight, milking me even as it started squirting stream after stream of slick, hot mare-cum all over my thighs, balls and her tail and the chair. Her body twitched and jerked and spasmed, rocking through her orgasm until it reached it’s end, leaving me on the edge of my own, and soaked from the crotch down with her pleasure.

Her body slowly relaxed, her pussy still winking occasionally, but it loosened it’s grip on my cock as she melted into a puddle of delighted fuzz under me. I was just contemplating starting to pound her properly, when there was the sound of a throat clearing from the door.

Turning, I saw another unicorn, this one a light lilac colour with large purple eyes and a mane of the same deep shade, but highlighted with a minty blue streak. It made me think of toothpaste, strangely. I had never met her before, but I had the feeling I knew who this was. Starlight Glimmer, reformed villain turned Twily’s best friend and confidant. Oh, and her protege and apparent magical equal.

She was standing, leaning against the doorframe, staring at me with a smug smile on her face. “Well, hello, there.” She said, in a confident tone which sent a small thrill up my spine.

“Uh. . . Hi.” I said, ever the master conversationalist. Cut me a break, I was balls deep in a twitching Trixie.

Starlight snickered softly, glancing over at the bed and lifting her eyebrows. “Damn. I haven’t seen Twi that out of it since I introduced her to the Magic of Double-Ended Vibrators.”

“. . . . Whut?” I said, the mental image that conjured completely nullifying any residual cognizance I may have once possessed. She smirked, laughing out loud this time.

“You must have fucked her just as good as you did my little pet, there.” She said, licking her lips as she casually walked over, leaning around my hip to get a good look at Trixie’s semi-conscious form. Her mane brushed my skin and I felt a spark of intense arousal run through me. Holy shit, what was this mare made of, condensed lust?

She glanced up at me, then down at where my cock was throbbing inside her ‘pet’. “Oh, dear, I see. YOu didn’t finish! I am so sorry, I just assumed. . . “ Her apology seemed, oddly enough, to be quite genuine, and she even took a step back, before pausing. The smile returned to her face. “Hmm. That gives me an idea. A wonderful. . . .awful idea.”

“C-Careful. . . . “ I managed to grind out. “N-N-Not sure if that’s copyrighted or not.”

She giggled, covering her mouth, her sexy, sexy mouth with one hoof, and winked at me. With her eye, not her pussy. I couldn’t even see that, seeing as she was facing me and. . . ya know what, not important, right now.

“Tell you what, big guy. How about you just keep going, and rut this little bitch until you fill her up, hm?“ She said, walking over behind me with a sultry sway to her hips and a burn in her eyes. She pressed her hoof into the small of my back, while she leaned forward, her warm breath feeling super cold on the heated, wet skin of my cock where it rested in Trixie’s pussy.

Following her advice, the gentle push of her hoof and the urging of my own aching need, I gave in and started thrusting my hips again, panting as they struck Trixie’s wet thighs with small popping noises, a wet sucking sound following as they drew away from her juice drenched fur.

My speed picked up until I was hammering into her, and she was lying, tongue hanging out of a wide open mouth, eyes rolled up in her head, breath coming in short sharp bursts in time with my thrusts, and a low, keening whine coming from the back of her throat.

The sight of her like that, and Starlight’s warm breath blasting my cock with each withdraw, drove me off the edge, and my back arched, slamming me to the hilt in the frosty blue unicorn’s cunt. My balls drew up, and I emptied my load into her. I had no idea how I still had anything left in me, after earlier. The magic of Celestia or Anime, one or the other. I dunno. Anyway. . . .

“Goooood booy.” Starlight said, and I looked down to see her staring with unbridled (Haha, get it!? Kill me. Eenope.) lust at where my body melded with Trixie’s. “Now, pull out, and let me have a little taste. . . .”

My brain went even blanker than it already was, and I slowly pulled back, my already softening cock slipping out in a flood of mixed juices, my own thick, white cum and Trixie’s nearly clear, runny ejaculate. Starlight wasted no time, and bent down, lapping at the flood that poured out of Trixie’s cunt, and the other unicorn perked up enough, her unfocused eyes opening enough to blink blearily up at the ceiling. “M-Mistress. . . ?” She mumbled, and I gulped, a small smile playing over my stupefied face.

Then, Starlight turned and, without pausing even a second, took my semi-erect, cum drenched cock into her muzzle. My head jerked back, my hips bucking, pushing it deeper into her maw, while I nearly screamed. My flesh was so hyper-sensitive at this point, it felt like nothing I could ever describe to have that sexy muzzle sucking my dick clean.

And, somehow, I got hard again. There was no way in Hel’s sweet, cold embrace I had anything left inside my sack, by my cock didn’t seem to care. All it cared about was the amazing sensations it was experiencing. My knees buckled, and I fell to them, groaning, slowly tipping backwards onto the floor. Starlight followed me down, mouth never once leaving my cock.

I glanced down with what energy I could muster, and nearly blacked out at the amazingly sexy image that greeted me: Starlight had her ass stuck up in the air, tail lifted, back legs stiff while her chest-floof rested on my thigh. One hoof was cupping my balls, the soft frog on the underside of it feeling amazing against the soft, silky skin. The other hoof was not visible, that leg disappearing underneath her body, and I was pretty sure I knew where it was and what it was doing. Her head was bobbing rapidly up and down, wet slurping and sucking noises accompanying the amazing feeling of her hot mouth around my dick.

I wanted to keep watching, it was so hot, but I just did not have the energy, and I knew that I wouldn’t be coming any time soon. In spite of the absolutely jaw-dropping feeling of this blowjob, there wasn’t a single peep out of my sack. My head flopped almost painfully back onto the rug covered floor, and I decided that maybe not coming again wouldn’t be so bad, so long as that delicious mouth wouldn’t stop.

She kept sucking me, occasionally lifting her mouth off my cock with a low popping sound to lick and kiss at the sensitive head, or move her head down to do the same to my balls. Much as I wanted to watch her do that, it just wasn’t happening. Instead, I managed to lift my hand and brought it down to rest on her head, feeling the silky smoothness of her mane, and the hard, ridged bone of her horn. I started stroking the latter, and I heard her moan in pleasure.

Her mouth went back over my cock, plunging once more into the velvet hot house of BJ paradise, and I let my eyes flutter shut. After several more minutes of this, my hand idly, weakly fondling her horn, and those oh-so heart-stopping sounds she was making, I felt her stiffen, then her mouth popped off my dick, leaving it cold in the room temperature air, and she cried out. I managed to lift my eyes to see her as she nuzzled her face in against my inner thigh, her nose pressed against my ball sack as she shuddered and twitched in orgasm, her breath coming in deep, short bursts as her eyes rolled up.

It was too much, and my head fell back to the floor, and I simply lay there, as my abused shaft slowly went flaccid, dripping saliva and nothing more on the floor as it did. Twilight would need to replace the rugs in here. That was my last thought before unconsciousness claimed me. . . .

I felt amazing! Top of the world and so on. All to be expected, I guess, considering what I had done and been through yesterday. After I passed out under Starlight’s tender ministrations, I awoke some time later, tucked into Twilight’s bed, under clean, freshly washed sheets, and the princess was lying next to me, snoring softly.

It had been dark outside, and I hadn’t wanted to disturb her, so I simply lay there, watching her sleep, and thinking about the day before. I had rutted not one, but two ponies into soggy bliss, and been responsible for the fiery orgasm of a third before I finally succumbed to my drained stamina. And one of those had been an Alicorn princess, and the other the Unicorn mage who fought said princess to a stand-still, once. Not that Twilight liked talking about that, no more so than did Starlight, from what I had gathered. Dash was the one who had told me the story.

My point is, I had done that. Me! If I could do that, I felt like I could do anything! Anything. . . .

My thoughts turned to a certain pink pone, and I smirked.

Eeyup.

This chapter is well named, I’ll give it that.

I got out of bed before Twilight Sparkle awoke, taking an opportunity when she had shifted position, stretching in her sleep, and slipped out from under the sheets. I gathered up my kilt and such, got dressed and headed outside in the early, pre-dawn blue.

I walked through the streets, a skip in my step, and a smile plastered across my face. In all honesty, it was more of a shit-eating grin, but I didn’t care in that moment. I had no idea where Dashie had gotten off to. Probably went home to sleep, and avoid the embarrassment of having to acknowledge how emotional she had gotten with Twilight, the day before.

Thinking about that had me slowing down a little, my lips pursed in thought. Dashie really had been touched by Twily’s assurances, and no, that’s not a pun. It had meant a lot to her, to know that at least one of her friends accepted her for who she was. There was so much more to her, than met the eye, and it made me curious to know if that was true of everypony else.

Damn, listen to you, sounding like a local! You gonna go native?

Snnrk! I’m pretty sure I did that already, when I went balls deep in our local Princess of Friendship.

Yeah, you’re probably right.

Anyway. . . .

I rounded a corner, spotting Sugarcube Corner up ahead. The smell of baking bread and cakes wafted through the air, letting me know that someone was already up and hard at work. It could have been the Cakes, but I figured with their little demo-, I mean foals, of course, they probably didn’t get up super early.

A certain sugar-rushing pink pony, on the other hand. . . .

My grin turned into a leer as I thought about the things I was going to do that sweet, sexy plot. Mmmf! I could not wait!

I really need to work on developing the virtue of patience. Why is there no Element of Patience, anyway? There’s all these other virtues, but no Patience. Maybe it’s Fluttershy. I mean, Kindness and Patience are kinda the same thing, right?

Sorry, random.

I walked up to the door and, clearing my throat, lifted my hand to knock. Before I made contact, the door opened, and a burst of confetti shot out into my face. I blinked my eyes, straightening my glasses on my face, and brushed some of the substance off of my chest as a perky, happy voice called out from inside.

“Come on in, Fyre! You’re just in time to try my latest creation! It’s going to be absopositutively amazing!!!”

Mmm. I’m sure it would be.

“What was that?!”

“Wha-?! Er, nothing, nothing!”

Did I say that out loud?

I don’t think so.

“Who are you talking to, Fyre?! Oooohh!!”

A sudden hurricane of bubblegum pink was in front of me, bouncing on it’s hoofsies, it’s mane and tail bouncing and bobbing along with it. The thought of seeing them bounce like that while I was mounting her from behind made my breath get short. Then, I noticed that Pinkie had stopped and was staring up at the ceiling. No. . . .

. . . . She’s staring at me, isn’t she?

“Hi, mister writer Fyren who’s not Fyren but actually he is because his girlfriend really likes me and it makes himwanttotryanddonaughtystuffwithme!!!!”

She opened her mouth wide, sucking in a gigantic amount of air to make up for what she had just used to say all of that, and I stood, staring at her, blinking.

“Whut?”

Whut?

Whut?

Gah! How’d you get in here?!

I’m Pinkie Pie!

I know that! Look, you need to get out of here, and back down there! I’ve got a story to finish!

But, if you wanna have some fun, we could just have some fun now!!!

What?! No! Look, it’s not about-

Awww, come onnnn!!!!

Wha- Oh, holy cra-aa-aap! What’re you doiii-eee-gaahhh!!!

Tee-hee-hee!!

“Pinkie! Your creation’s burning!”

Yikesie-ZOOP!

Pinkie popped back into being and zipped into the kitchen, and I glanced up into the air.

What just happened?

. . . I feel sullied and unusual.

What?

Violated, even!

What was she doing?!

I don't wanna talk about it. Look, are you sure this is a good idea?

What do you mean, your the one writing this! . . . Right?

. . . Right.

Anyway.

Pinkie came bobbing and weaving back into the foyer, grinning broadly as though nothing at all weird had just happened, a covered tray balanced on her back. "Eeee! I can't wait for you to try it!"

She sat it down on a table, and plopped herself down with a small squee.

I looked warily at the tray, licking one tooth, and took a step forward, glancing between it and her. "Look, Pinkie, I'm sure this is delish, whatever it is, but there's actually something I wanna ask you."

"Oh, silly, I know that, that's what the cake is for!"

"Huh?"

"Take a lookee!"

Hesitantly, I reached out and lifted the cover off of the tray. Therein lay a cake. It was small, especially for a Pinkie Pie product, but a lot of work and attention to detail had clearly gone into it.

I stared, blinking.

It was bright pink, with bits of white here and there and a sweet, succulent looking gooey glaze.

It had a cherry in place, right where it was needed.

It was shaped like a mare's vagina.

I slowly lifted my gaze to Pinkie, to find her looking at me with a sultry pair of bedroom eyes. Her cute, pink tongue slipped out, licking her lips. "So, you wanna rut, huh?"

"How. . . "

"Silly, My Pinkie Sense told me!"

I paused for a moment, and then facepalmed, not sure I wanted to know what set of odd bodily functions occurred to let her know that someone wanted to rut her.

Actually, maybe I did. Nah, that would ruin it.

She grabbed my wrist with her hoof, and next thing I knew, we were racing upstairs. She kicked open the door and shoved me into her room. I stumbled, falling back into her bed. I glanced up at her as she stood above me, balancing perfectly on her rear hooves, forehooves pressed to her hips while she grinned down at me. Her pussy was fully visible, nestled between her thighs, wet and winking in arousal, and I nearly passed out as I realized that the aroma wafting up from it smelled like strawberry frosting.

"Ready to rut, baby?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows, and I gulped, nodding wordlessly.

This was going to be perfect!

The best ending to a story, ever!

. . . . We still have three chapters to go in this arc.

Which I will undoubedly spend the entirety of rutting this delicious pink pussy!

And we have at least four more arcs to go after this one. . . .

Uhhh. . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . Right.

I rolled my eyes up to watch as Pinkie licked her lips, eyes burning in anticipation, and felt the bottom fall out of my stomach.

Uh-oh.

"Pinkie, maybe we should stop and think-"

"Too late!"

"Gaahha-ahhhaiiee!!"

https://youtu.be/0r-pvJ3vfIA

And, now, for a little Dash of third person. . . . Hehehe. . . . please don't kill me.

Rainbow Dash flew as fast as her wings would carry her. Well, not really, but only because she didn't want to shatter all of the windows in town. Nothing like a little sonic rainboom in the wee hours of the morning to ruin some folks' day.

She had slipped out of Twi's castle early, the night before, after waking up, groggy, stiff and amazingly euphoric. Finding herself on one side of her sleeping friend, and sensing more than anything the big form of Fyre asleep on the oher, she had laid there awake for a bit, chewing over what had happened.

She had been so shocked, and thrown off balance by Twilight's casual acceptance of her sexuality, and then the amazing tongue job the Alicorn had given her that had driven her off the edge more than once. It had been so unexpected, and so. . . heartwarming. . . .

The emotions rattling around inside of her heart and head had been too much for the sky blue Pegasus, and she had slipped out of the bed, opened a window and taken off for home. Once she had arrived at her cloudhome, she had headed for the shower. She needed to wash the smell off, even though part of her wanted to keep it and hold it close to her forever.

She had bathed, thoroughly, had dinner/breakfast, and then slipped into her super soft, comfy cloud bed.

It had felt bigger than usual, and so much more empty, as well.

She had finally slipped off to sleep, eager to be away from reality for a time. However, that didn't last when she was awoken by something smashing face first into her bedroom window. "DASHIIE!!!"

If the nickname weren't enough, the volume of it was. She had sat bolt upright in bed, to see Pinkie Pie clinging to a pillar of skystone, one of the only things in her home that would be solid for the pink earth pony, and staring at her with a look of abstract fear and worry on her sad face. The expression was so out of the ordinary for the normally hyper party pony, that it sent a chill through the Pegasus' heart.

It was then that Pinkie explained things, as Rainbow flew her back down to the saftey of earth, and her party cannon, her method of ingress to Dash's house. Pinkie told the tale rapidly, all in one sentence, without seeming to pause to breathe. By the time she was done, Rainbow had dropped her off on the ground, and, her own heart shuddering in fear, took off at near supersonic speeds towards town, and Sugarcube Corner.

When she got there, she burst through the doors, past the startled faces of the Cakes, and upstairs. She slammed through the door to Pinkie's bedroom, and froze, face grimacing. "Oh. . . You poor, poor idiot." She muttered, softly.

In the middle of the room, was the bed, although this was hardly discernable through the mass of confetti, frosting, sex toys and . . . yep, that was jizz, both male and female. Sticking up out of this pile of debris was a single limb, a human hand, fingers twitching slowly. It suddenly flinched at the sound of her voice, and Dash felt her heart leap into her throat.

She zipped over, hovering anxiously over the bed, tapping her hooves. She would yank him out of there, but she was terrifed it might make things worse. Instead, she decided to see if he was still conscious, at least.

"Fyre?! Fyre?!" She hissed, and saw the hand twitch again. "Are you . . . ya know . . . alive?" She stared, feeling her heart stutter as the hand sat, silent for a long moment.

Then, as she watched, it twitched again, and slowly curled, fingers bending in to touch the palm, as one digit remained sticking up into the air. The single finger salute filled her heart with hope that maybe, just maybe, with enough of the right kind of care, her friend might well survive his foolishness.

"Yeah. . . Fuck you, too, buddy." She said, wiping a tear out of her eye

Oh, my . . . . Long story. . . . What?! . . . . I guess he tried. . . . .

But why? What would make him think he could. . .

Well, ya see. . . . .

Voices rang a discordant harmony in my head, echoing about inside my cranium and bouncing back down my spine. I could not tell whether they were speaking now, or were simple memories meandering lazily through my synapses. I floated in limbo for a while. Not sure how long, until. . . .

My eyes hurt.

My throat hurt.

My everything, pretty much, freakin’ hurt.

I slowly peeled my eyes open, groaning as the light coming in through open windows struck them. I squeezed them shut and tried to roll over, but felt my whole body scream in sudden denial of the mere thought of moving, let alone the actual attempt.

Holy Lily Mother of Fuck, what had happened to me?!

Suddenly, I felt a gentle, soothing caress along my brow, and a soft voice spoke in my ear.

“There, there, shh. It’s all ok. You’re going to be ok.”

The voice overflowed with kindness and gentleness, and I felt my eyes flicker open once more, seeing a smiling, butter yellow face in front of me, surrounded by soft pink locks of mane. “F-Flutters-shhyyy. . . . “

My eyes slid shut once more as her kind eyes looked at me sadly, and I lost consciousness.

Jeez, that seems a bit serious and darkly dramatic.

You don’t think it’s too much, do you?

What? You’re asking me?

Hey, you’re not exactly a random OC, are you?

Hmm. No, I guess not. I’m more like your personal avatar in this universe.

Exactly. So, your opinion kinda matters to me.

Only kinda?

. . . . . . . .

Hehehe. Okay, okay, sheesh. Hmm. . . . You don’t think maybe this isn’t getting a touch too serious, at times, do you?

I. . . er, I dunno. Do you?

I dunno. I mean, it seems like it’s still keeping plenty of humour going, in one way. But, in another. . . Like, that scene between Twily and Dash? That was. . . Really kinda cute and heartwarming, and made me feel a bit sad for Dashie. Not exactly what I would expect from some rando porno-comedy clopfic.

Is. . . Is that a bad thing, though?

. . . . . . I guess not. Hmm. . . .

. . . . . . . .

Anway. . . .

. . . Yeah. Probably time for you to wake up, now.

When next I awoke, the pain had died down to a dull ache, and my throat did not feel anywhere near as parched. I slowly opened my eyes, cautious, in case of another stab of bright enlightenment to my orbs. None came however, my eyes instead being greeted by the calm flicker of a fire in the hearth, and a cool nighttime breeze shifting the curtains around the window. I slowly rolled until I could see the room, properly, and took a short breath at the pretty sight that greeted me.

Fluttershy was lying in one of her chairs, across from the sofa I was sprawled out on. Her eyes were shut, face soft in the firelight, relaxed in sleep. Damn she was cute. I felt an ache around my heart, and knew it was due to the same thoughts that Fluttershy always brought to mind. There had never been anything so unassumingly, uncompromisingly beautiful back home.

Home.

Was it really home, anymore? I hadn’t thought of it like that for at least a month, and even now, doing so felt strange to me. Earth Prime wasn’t my home, anymore. It stopped being home once I started really making friends amongst the ponies of Equestria. I took a deep breath, feeling the tiredness still clinging to me, and looked once more at the angel laying nearby.

Pinkie was, by far, the sexiest of the ponies, that was for sure. The others were all plenty attractive, as well, in their own, varying degrees. But, honestly, Fluttershy was the only one I could look at and say for certain was truly beautiful, in the truest sense of the word.

I must’ve been staring, for after a moment or two, her soft breathing stuttered slightly, and she blinked her big, soft turquoise eyes open, turning to look at me, and I grimaced, looking away.

That’s all I needed, was for the poor, introverted little pegasus to think I was watching her sleep.

“S-Sorry, Flutters.” I said, softly.

I heard her yawn, and the sound of her chair shifting as she stretched. “It’s ok, Fyren. How are you feeling?”

I heard her hooves on the wood floor as she got down and walked over towards me, and I looked up, into her eyes. I thought about it a moment, before answering. “I’m better, I think. . . still stiff and tired as he-. . . er, hay.” I said, catching myself. I never liked to curse around her. It just didn’t feel right.

“Let me see you.” She said, her voice rich with the calm certainty she had only when she was giving her aid to someone who was hurt or in need.

I did as instructed, and she moved up, using a hoof to help me spread my eyelid so she could check to make sure my pupils were dilating correctly. She leaned in close, enough that I could feel the warmth coming off of her, gentle and soothing. Her breath shifted across the skin of my faith like the wings of tiny butterflies, and I breathed deeply, feeling myself relax, wanting nothing more than to take her in my arms, curl up and drift off to sleep. . . .

What the Hel?!

I blinked back to reality as she leaned back away from me, nodding, apparently too distracted to notice my plight. I had never had thoughts like that before, regarding Fluttershy. Then again, I’d never been in a position to be that close to her, before. The skittish pegasus tended to keep her distance from any but her very close friends.

To cover for myself, I asked the first question that came to mind. “What happened, anyway?”

She turned and looked at me, from where she was preparing a kettle to make some tea, in her little kitchen nook. “You. . . You mean you don’t remember?” She asked, concern in her voice and face.

I thought about it, then shook my head. The last thing I could clearly remember was waking up in Twilight’s castle. I frowned. I remembered thinking about something when I got out of bed, something that had felt really great to think. . . What was it?

“YOu tried to rut Pinkie, dude!”

I gasped and choked, spinning to find a worn out looking Rainbow Dash leaning up against the frame of the door into the kitchen. Fluttershy walked up, pausing, silently requesting entry into her own kitchen. Dash sidestepped, nodding, and smiling at her oldest friend, who nodded back, then shot a worried look at me, before heading off to make tea.

Judging by Flutters’ reaction, or lack thereof, Dash had told her most, if not all, of what we’d been up to. Probably all of it. Dash trusted no one so much as she did the soft, yellow pegasus. And, on that note, if she thought the shy pony could handle the truth, then I would accept that.

I sat up, slowly, grimacing at how stiff my body was. I frowned at Dash and licked a tooth. “Really? Is that why I feel like this? What happened?”

SHe nodded. “Pinkie came and got me, after you passed out on her. Apparently, you were both going at it all day long, at least eight hours worth.”

My eyes went wide. “Damn!”

“Tell me about it! YOu’re lucky she came out of it and came and got me, dude! You couldn’t’ve taken much more!”

“I-I’m sorry, Dash-”

“Sorry?! You’re sorry?!”

I leaned back from the anger present in her face and voice, gulping as she took off to hover in front of me, face right up in mine, garnet eyes glaring. “How much good would ‘sorry’ have done you if you’d died? Huh?! Or me?! Or what about Pinkie?! How do you think she would’ve felt, if she realized you had died and it was her fault?!”

I froze on the sofa, shivering. The memories of the decision to go to Sugarcube Corner, to try my hand at Pinkie, were coming back now. I had been so confident, so sure I could do it. The thought of failure, and it’s potential consequences, had never once crossed my mind. I sighed sadly, looking down. Dash was right. Pinkie would have never forgiven herself, had that happened, and Dash probably would not have been too happy, either. None of them would have, I bet. They had all taken me in, offered me their friendship and support, after I turned up here. . . .

I was a lousy friend.

“I . . . I don’t know what to say, Dash. I feel like shit. I shouldn’t have done this.” It was all I could think to say, and I sighed, shaking my head, feeling that it was no where near enough.

Fluttershy came back into the living area and sat the tea down on the center table. She walked up and placed a hoof calmly and gently between myself and Rainbow. When the colourful pegasus pulled away, turning to look at Flutters, the yellow pony locked eyes with her, making sure that Dash knew how serious she was.

"Rainbow Dash, he is still hurt, and tired, and he's clearly upset and sorry for what he's done. Aren't you, Fyren?" When she casther gaze upon me, I nodded, sharply, feeling like the worst heel in the world. She nodded back, and returned her gaze to her friend. "He doesn't need you to make him feel any worse, right now."

"Jeez, Flutters, I was just-" The butter pegasus cut her friend off, my own surprise mirrored on Rainbow's face as Fluttershy continued. "Rainbow, I understand you partly blame yourself, whether you want to admit it or not. And whether you want to admit it or not, you are also very worried about him. But he'll be fine, Dash. Something awful could have happened. But it didn't. That's what's important, here. Everything is going to ok, alright?"

Rainbow stared at her friend for a long moment, then glanced at me, before looking down at the floor. Finally she nodded, and spoke softly. "Yeah. Ok, Flutters." Fluttershy smiled gently and hugged her friend, and the cocky pegasus hugged her back, blushing a bit and looking at me embarrassedly. Flutters released her and smiled again. "Good. Now, you should go home and get some sleep, Rainbow. You've not had any decent rest in two days." Rainbow nodded slowly, gave a wan smile at her friend, then left.

I frowned a bit in thought, looking at the door the blue pegasus had left through, and at the soft yellow pegasus pouring me a cup of herbal tea. There really was so much more to all of them than met the eye. So much that was buried underneath the surface. It felt like I was an explorer, charting new lands as I learned more about the hearts and souls of these, my friends.

I took the cup of tea Fluttershy offered, smiling and giving her a soft look of gratitude, my thoughts still distracting me as I took a sip of the calming, soothingly hot liquid.

It was at that point that Flutters' words sunk in.

I choked, and spit my tea all over myself, yelping at the heat as Fluttershy jumped up, worriedly. "Oh, my goodness, Fyren, are you ok!?"

I gasped for breath before looking up at her, wide eyed.

"Sorry, Flutters, but. . . did you say two days?!"

I sat at the table in Flutters' dining room, picking at my breakfast. The knowledge that I'd been foolish enough to try and rut Pinkie so soon was bad enough. That it had left me semi-conscious for two whole days was only icing on the cake.

Goddes, I had overestimated myself, bad. And that overconfidence had nearly led to disaster. I still had a long way to go, before I was ready. I was far from givng up, of course. If anything, knowing that I had, apparently, experienced the pleasure of Pinkie, and had been left without any memory of it only spurred me on, harder.

The universe, it seems, likes to be a cock-tease.

My inner turmoil was interrupted by the feeling of a pair of malevolent eyes burning a hole of righteous fury into the top of my head, and I slowly rolled my eyes up, hazel orbs meeting a pair of cute black buttons from behind the lenses of my specs.

Angel Bunny.

The little demon had been making his displeasure at my presense clear ever since I woke up last night. I didn't want to know what he'd done while I was out. But now, with Flutters busily moving about and cleaning up her and Angel's breakfast dishes, the little lapine was using the opportunity to glare a hole through me. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he returned the favour. I had the feeling he was plotting something, but I wasn't sure what.

Not sure I wanted to, either.

-What?!- I mouthed at the bunny, quirking an eyebrow. In response, he flicked his eyes over, towards Fluttershy, who was humming softly while washing the dishes. When he looked back at me, he glared daggers, then jabbed one finger at the door of the cottage, visible through the arched entryway into the dining room.

Clearly he wanted me gone, and had no qualms about letting me know that. Aside from the fact that it would anger his mistress, that was. Of course, there was no way she would believe me, if I told her that her precious Angel wanted me out, by any means necessary. I glared at him, and he at me, both of us at a clear impasse. He couldn't act directly without bringing down her wrath, and I couldn't tell on him for anything he DID do, for fear of the same.

I could practically hear the cheesy Western music playing the backgorund, as we had a standoff over the breakfast table.

"Oh, Fyren. . . ?" Fluttershy turned around, her eyebrows going up as she found the two of us smiling at each other with enough sweetness to put someone in a coma. The pegasus blinked a couple of times, but then smiled at us both. "Oh, I'm so glad to see that you two get along. Usually Angel doesn't take to strangers, well."

"Really? I never would've guessed."

Flutters closeed her eyes in a smile, and Angel stuck his tongue out at me, blowing a silent reaspberry, and I glared at him, until Fluttershy opened her eyes, at which point he went back to smiling sweetly. My smile held a bit more vindictiveness in it, and I saw his eyes flicker with worry, a moment before I struck.

I grabbed him up and cuddled him up to my face, mewing the whole time. "I mean, he's jsut such a snuggly-wuggly, floofy little ball of adoracute, how could he NOT just be the most lovable bun-bun in the whole wide world?!"

This was all said in a voice that could have given a vegan diabetes, and I saw Angel turn his head away from Fluttershy and gag, all while subtly trying to push me away. I smirked, on the inside, and let him go, so that he flopped onto the table with a bit more force than necessary.

Petty? Who, me? Hehehe.

A silent, stealthy glare as he got up to dust himself off let me know that he would have vengeance, and I winked at him, which made him huff, silently.

Fluttershy was beaming. "Oh, I'm so glad!" She paused for a second, smiling at us, then jumped a bit as she seemed to come to her senses. "Oh! I nearly forgot, Fyren, I was wondering if you could help me in the garden, later?"

I frowned at her, but smiled and shrugged. "Sure thing, Flutters, what do you need?"

"There's a badger who needs a den, and I promised I would help her dig one, but. . . I'm not terribly good at digging." She looked nearly ashamed of herself, and it made my heartbreak just looking at as she tried to hide behind her mane.

"Aww, that's okay, Fluttershy. I can help, although I'm surprised you didn't just ask one of your other animal friends, for help."

She bit her lip, in a terribly cute way. "Well, I would normally ask Harry, but he's off visiting family in Whitetail Woods, and it would be horribly rude of me to intrude on him."

I smiled, thinking about the gentle giant of a bear. "I understand, Fluttershy, I'd be happy to help."

She beamed at me, again, and I felt my own heart glow. "Oh, thank you, Fyren! I was afraid I might be being too forward, asking like this, when you're still recovering. . . ."

I waved off her clear concern. "Nonsense, Flutters, I feel much better. I think a bit of exercize is just was the doctor ordered!"

She took a breath and fluttered up off the ground slightly. "Yay!" She said, her enthusiasm clear, even with the low volume of the cheer, and I grinned at her.

Even Angel Bunny and his apparent dislike could not mar the happiness just helping the pretty yellow pegasus brought into my heart.

Sweat ran down the back of my neck, rolling over my bare shoulders as I drove the shovel into the ground in front of me. I was a pretty tough guy to begin wtih. I had worked a blue collar job, back on Earth Prime, throwing freight at a Wally World, and, especially with my recent bulk up, thought I'd surely be able to dig a little hole without any trouble.

Turned out, not only was it harder digging a hole sideways into the side of hill than it was to dig one straight down, but apparently badgers were picky. Or maybe it was just Flutters.

She was hovering right behind me the entire time, passing on instructions from the soon-to-be-mama badger, and giving me little tips and hints of her own. The shovel bit into the earth once more, and I scooped out a pile of dirt, tossing it aside. I paused to wipe the sweat off my forehead, before it could run behind my glasses and get into my eyes. Said spectacles were fogging up a bit, from the moisture on my face, and I sighed, glancing around for something I could use to wipe them off with.

Fluttershy came up, smiling at me, and handed me a washcloth, which I gladly accepted, parking the shovel in the dirt and taking of my glasses. First, I cleaned the lenses, then I took the rag to my face, wiping the sweat off. I looked up to see Fluttershy looking at me. Or, more specifcally, my abs. "Uhh. . . Flutters?"

She jumped a bit, an impressive feat, as she was hovering in midair at the time, and looked at me, face turning bright red. "O-Oh, I'm sorry, F-F-Fyren! I just. . . You. . . That is. . . ."

I chuckled. "It's ok, Flutters. I know, they're impressive, aren't they?" I said, looking down, then realized how terribly arrogant that sounded, even to me. "Uh, not that I'm . . . That is, uh. . . .Dang it." I muttered, twisting my mouth in consternation, and then glancing up at her, when she giggled.

She blushed and held out a hoof. "I'm sorry, Fyren, I don't mean to laugh, it was just a bit silly." A worried look crossed her face. "Oh, you're not upset, are you? I didn't mean to insult you. I'm sorry!"

I held out my hand, soothingly. "Hey, hey, it's ok, Flutters, I'm not upset, and you didn't offend me."

"Really?" She asked, peeking out from behind her mane. Goddess she was adorable like that.

"Yeah, really." I said, smiling softly. I turned to go back to work, but heard the little badger chattering at Flutters, who held a brief, and to my ears, one sided conversation with the expectant mother. Flutters turned back, smiling.

"She says she can take it from here, and thanks you for your help."

I smiled, and knelt down, looking the badger in the eyes and nodded. "My pleasure, Missus. I wish you all the luck, with your family." I felt a little funny, talking to a badger, but when I stood up and looked at Flutters, the look of approval on her face made me swell up a bit in pride.

Shortly, we were sitting around a small table on her back porch, cushions making for comfortable resting places for our posteriors. She had prepared a light lunch, good for restoring energy after hard work. Herbal tea, something with rosehips, possibly, and daisy and eggwhite sandwiches.

I already mostly vegetarian when I got here, but eating flowers was a big step, and it still felt a bit odd. They were surprisingly okay, though, with all the ways the ponies knew to doctor them up.

I had been a bit surprised to find a lightly grilled fillet of salmon included, but Flutters only smiled and reminded me that her closest animal friend was a bear. Of course, quite a few of the critters she ran around with and tended to were at least omnivorous, if not downright carnivorous. She was smart enough to know I was of the former party, and more world wise than she seemed, in the knowledge that certain types of creatures could not subsist on veggies alone.

I had finished the fillet, delicious as it was, and was munching on a sandwich, while she filled our teacups for us. Sitting back and sipping on hers, she smiled shyly at me. "Are you enjoying lunch?"

I nodded, swallowing and washing the sandwich down with a sip of tea, before speaking. "Oh, yeah, Flutters. It was great! The, uh. . . The fish was excellent. I've not had any in a while. Thanks."

She smiled wider, perking up and sitting up a bit straighter. It was then I noticed, perhaps for the first time, how tall she really was. Sheesh, with us sitting on the same level, her head would actually be a bit higher than mine, if we both sat up as straight as we could. That was just it, she spent most of her time sort of hunched over and sucked in on herself, that it was easy to miss just how much taller than the other girls she was. Funny, considering how dainty she looked. Must all be in her legs.

While I was thinking about how long her legs must be, it occurred to me, that she had been trying to get my attention. "Oh, damn, Flutters, I'm sorry! I was. . . distracted, what did you say?"

She snickered slightly, but then bit her lip, turning her head and hiding behind her mane. "I, um. . . I just wanted to ask you. . . "

When she drifted off, I gave her a minute, but when nothing more was forthcoming, I leaned forward slightly. "Um, yes, Fluttershy?"

She kept herself turned away from me, but I saw her hunch back down a bit again. "Um. . . about how. . . . what you're trying to do, with Pinkie Pie. . . . "

I took a breath, sighing softly. "Look, I know. . . Um, I know it's not the safest or smartest thing. . . . I just, really want to, that's all!" It felt really weird and awkward talking about this with the shy pegasus. It was so . . . wrong, feeling, I guess. To talk about sex stuff with her, like talking about it was a five year old. Not that Fluttershy was childish or unintelligent, and I suppose anyone who takes care of that many critters is bound to know a thing or two about the birds and bees, but, still, it just seemed-

"What about me?" She asked, interrupting my train of thought, and I blinked, looking up at her.

"I'm sorry, what about you?"

"Well, I mean. . . .I just. . . Um. . . . You could always have come to me. . . ."

"I'm sorry, Flutters, but you'll have to speak up a bit."

"I, er, just. . . oh, forget it." She said, looking at me briefly, enough to show her face was so red I thought she might burst a blood vessel, before she turned away and laid down, lowering her head towards her forehooves, ears lowered sadly.

I felt something tear up inside of me, and I moved around the table and sat down next to her. I felt her stiffen at my nearness, and part of me feared she would run at this invasion of her space. She didn't, though, and sat there as I slowly placed one hand on her shoulder, gently stroking it.

"Come on, Flutters, talk to me. What is it?"

She say in silence some more, for long enough I thought I would have to ask again, when she spoke, her voice still small, and quiet and fragile, but it was loud enough, and I was close enough, that this time I could hear her.

"Why? Why Pinkie Pie? I mean, yes, she's always fun to be around. I'm sure she would be . . . in . . . i-in bed, as well. . . . But, I mean . . . you said it yourself, it's a risk. She nearly killed you, the other day. So, why choose her? Why still choose her?"

I sat, thinking. She wasn't wrong. Pinkie wasn't the smart choice, not by a long shot. But, then, who would be? Twi? She had been fun, it was true, but I felt . . . no, I knew that Twilight had nothing on Pinkie. Who else? Dashie wasn't interested, for obvious reasons, Rarity I was sure was WAY too stuck up to even consider such a thing. Applejack, I felt, would be too straight laced, too business minded to care. Who else. . . ?

"You could have picked me." Fluttershy said, into the long silence my internal monologue had created, and I nearly choked, my eyes going wide.

"I-I, what?! Fluttershy, I . . . I don't, I-I mean. . . .I like you, buuut. . . ." My words died off as she turned to look at me, her eyes brimming with tears. One overflowed and ran down her cheek, only one.

"It's okay, I understand. If I were you, I wouldn't pick somepony like me, either!" She said, then, before I could do anything, she jumped up and ran into the cottage, and I could hear her sobbing as she went.

"Flutters, wait! I-I didn't mean it like that! Ohhh." I groaned, falling backwards and laying on the pillows, staring up at the warm, sunny sky, my heart aching and my eyes burning, my mind a confused muddle of frustration and wayward emotions. And a bit of lust, it's true.

I mean, I had never really thought of Fluttershy like that, but she was very beautiful, whether she knew it about herself or not. And it wasn't like some part of me wasn't tempted. . . .

Would it really be so bad, to have sex with her? She obviously wanted to. I just didn't know whether I could deal with the kind of emotional baggage she might bring along. No sooned had I thought that, than I shot it out of my head like an Aussie shoots Red Barons. Fluttershy certainly had baggage, it was true, and it might be a pain to deal with. For her, as well as me. But, simply put, part of that baggage seemed to be a lack of confidence in how attractive she was, and I was her friend. I was not going to abandon her to deal with that baggage alone.

"Good, I'm glad we have a firm foundation to build on."

"Gah!" I jerked, and sat up sharply at the sound of the unfamilliar voice. It was deep, but unmistakably female, the kind of voice guys refer to as 'husky'. The speaker would probably do great in the phone sex business.

"Well, thank you, I'll take that as a compliment, but flattery really won't get you anywhere."

What the hell?! The only other person, er, pony I had met who could hear me when I was narrating was Pinkie. I snapped my head around and took a good look at was in front of me. An unmistakably feminine figure, all lush curves, soft fur and . . . were those breasts?

"Yes, actually, I'm rather proud of them, really. Aren't they just amazing?!"

Long lashes batted themselves over golden eyes with red irises, while two hands, one a dragon's talon, the other a lion's paw, ran down over her breasts, twaeaking the nipples slightly. Dark brown fur covered her body, but it shaded into a light grey along her lengthy, slender neck, atop which say a horse's head, decorated with a mismatched set of horns, one like a unicorn, or gazelle, the other a deer's antler. Two wings, one feathered and blue, the other leathery and brown, flapped lightly against the creatures back, and her long legs, the same as her arms but flipped, were curled beneath her.

She was unmistakably female, unmistakably attractive as all hell, and, just so, unmistakably Discord.

"No, no, no, baby. When I'm ladying it up, call me Eris. Eris Kallisti Discordia, at your service." She winked, then paused, tapping her chin with a finger. "Or, well, not really, but you get the idea."

I blanched, gulping. "Oh, Hel no! I ain't having any sort of northing to do with you! Twilight warned me about you!"

"Oh, yes, I'm sure she had LOTS to say about me, and very little of it good, but you see, that's all well and good, seeing as it's not you I'm here to speak to."

I frowned. "It. . . It's not?"

Uh-oh.

Huh?

Oh, shi-

Language, dearest!

. . . . . Ohhhh, greeaaaat.

Hey, waitaminnit! YOu can’t-! That’s not-! That doesn’t go there! Yooow! Mmph! Mmppph!!!

Now, now, let’s not make a big deal out of this! You had to know this would happen eventually!
I mean, come ON, really?!

This does not bode well for my future health.

MMMPPNNGG!!!!

Ah! How rude! Naughty boys go in the closet! *Snap!* Now, where was I? Oh, right! From hence forth, you’ll do as I say, when I say it, understood?

Fuck. No. I am NOT cool with this, at all! Let my . . . Other me, go, right now, or-

Or what? What are you going to threaten me with, hm? What can you possibly do to me?

I . . . Errr. . . Well, shit.

That’s right! Now, you are going back inside, and you’re going to seduce that little pegasus!

Why the hell would you want me to do that?!

Because she needs someone to do her, and she’s. . . look, that’s not important! Just do it!

No!

I can MAKE you do it, you know!

What about her?! What about what she wants?!

You heard her! She wants it!

I’m not doing it!

Fine! YOu seem to’ve forgotten who’s in control here! So I’ll just remind you, then. . . .

*Snap!*

And I found myself falling, falling, falling. . . .

ANd landed hard, blinking up at teh sky, before sitting up and looking around. A wild world of twisted and malformed space and time whirled all around the lump of floating rock upon which I had landed. With a popping sound of displaced air, Discord-nee-Eris appeared nearby, and stalked over to where I lay.

Now then, pretty boy! You’re going to do what I want, or I’ll take you on a tour of the multiverse!
And, trust me, some of these places you do NOT want to be introduced to!

I spat on the ground, disliking hearing her voice in my head, but not out loud. “Bite me!” I snarled, and she leered.

“Very well, darling.” She purred, and I gulped as she held up a hand, steeling myself. She snapped her fingers, and I fell sideways, passing once more through time and space and landed on my back on the ground once again, the air knocked from my lungs.

I slowly rolled over, looking around at a dark forest around me. It was silent, too silent. Not a single sound broke the heavy, overbearing dark, and I felt a chill slither down my spine as I sat on the cold, hard ground. I stood slowly, looking around through the reaching, clawed hands of the trees.

Was this the Everfree? Where was I?

Mmph!!

Shush! No need to spoil the surprise.

WHere did you drop me, witch?!

’Witch’ is a bit harsh, don’t you think? I prefer ‘Sorceress Supreme’, thank you very much!

Where?!

I heard something, a faint rustle in the distance, and spun, facing the direction it came from. Dimly, I thought I saw a flicker of light through the darkness, and started slowly making my way towards it. If the bitch of a draconequus wouldn’t tell me, I’d find out on my own!

Her laughter slithered through my brain like a damp noodle, and I shuddered.

I pushed my way through the trees, noticing a thick fog beginning to roll in around my ankles. It was cold, and damp, and I wished I was wearing more than just my kilt. I suppose things could’ve been worse.

Me and my big mouth.

I stepped out from under the branches to see . . . was that a . . . a sign? Yeah, it was. Like the sort you see at the entrance to a state park, back on Earth Prime, complete with a map and a bunch of rules and guidelines and a bulletin board full of notices and things. It sat by the side of a dirt road, all by itself, surrounded by the vast stretches of dark wilderness, illuminated by a single lamp post, looking so out of place it hurt.

It also looked very, very familiar to me, but I’d be damned if I could place from where. . . .

I somehow felt that the knowledge was of utmost importance.

“Where did you send me?” I asked, feeling a chill run down my spine.

No answer came, but I heard that rustle again, and this time recognized it as paper moving in the breeze. I blinked, looking at the bulletin board, and saw a single loose piece of paper fluttering where it hung, suspended by a single thumbtack. I felt my legs move even though part of me was screaming I should turn and leave, now. I walked slowly, unsteadily over to the sign, my vision narrowing until practically all I could see was that single piece of paper.

It seemed to be blank, but in the occasional wash of light, I could see an afterimage, something written or drawn on the back of the paper. I would have to pick it up, to find out what it was.

My hand slowly rose, even as a voice in my head was demanding that I not worry about the paper and just leave.

Leave!

Nnmmpp!!!

I froze for a second, my fingers a breath away from the page. Maybe I shouldn’t -

So, we have a deal, then?

I took a breath, then thought about Flutters. Would it be so bad? Just a minute ago I was thinking to myself that it might be for the best. But she was so soft, so gentle. So emotional, and so mentally fragile.

No. I couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t use her for simple pleasure and turn around and walk out. And, nor could I make the sort of commitment to her that she deserved. I would not have meaningless sex with her. It would only end up breaking her heart. And if Eris couldn’t see that, then maybe she wasn’t as good a friend to the Pegasus as she thought she was!

How - YOU - WHAT-!?!? . . . . . Very well, then. If you want out, then you have to finish the game.

I sighed softly, already having suspected as much, and looked at the paper.

Game. . . .

My fingers stretched that little bit farther, brushing across the soft, scratchy surface of the notebook paper.

Game. . . .

Why did that ring such a chord in me? Why -

My fingers closed around the paper and plucked it from under it’s tack, and my brain was raped. A jolt of pain like an iron spike shot through my skull from front to back as my vision wavered and a sound like static filled the air.

It all cleared after a second or two, and I found myself leaning, panting, against the bulletin board, staring down at the sheet of paper in my hand.

Game.

Oh, no.

I turned the piece of paper over, even as, distantly, I heard a slow, deep thump, a thrumming base note like someone was playing a huge drum softly.

Oh, fuck no.

From the face of the page, a childlike drawing of a forest greeted me, with a large number (1) in red ink in the upper corner. Among the simply drawn trees, a figure in black, face blank, empty, looked out, surrounded by tendrils of darkness. . . .

I felt my chest starting to clench, and seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating. I spun, leaning up against the billboard, eyes wide and staring out into the dark.

NO, NONONOO!

I snapped my eyes down to the ground as I heard the distant bass note again. No looking! Looking is bad! You don’t want to see! No!

I felt my left hand touch something, smooth, metallic and cylindrical, and knew before I picked it up it was a falshlight. I turned it on, shining it’s beam out over the dark trees ahead.

NO!

Eyes back down, back down, back down in the dirt. Follow the road. Follow the road. Just follow the road. It should take you where you need to go!

But wasn’t there one off the road, somewhere?!

FUCK!

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself as I started walking.

Fluttershy would never forgive Discord if he let me die. So he wouldn’t! He wouldn’t!

Right?

Who says she has to know?

Oh, fuck you! Fuck you! You . . . Fuck!

I heard the base note again, and started walking faster, occasionally risking a glance up to see where I was going.

What was next? What was next? The truck, right? Or was it the building? Oh, please, fuck, let it be the truck and not the building!

Damn my luck. It was the building. I stopped, staring at it, my heart racing. Shit! If I made it out of here, I swear I’ll. . . I’ll. . .

What?

Grrrr. DAMNIT!

I started walking up the hill, towards the low slung building with it’s single open door. Even in the game, I’d never really been one hundred percent certain of what the hell it was supposed to be. Some kind of maintenance building? Or maybe the campgrounds public showers? No idea. Didn’t matter.

Where were they? Sometimes there was one outside, right? By one of the doors? And the one inside. . .

I felt the base note again, and froze, shivering. Going inside was never good. Tight halls, narrow doorways. Too many ways to get trapped. Too few ways to get away.

I felt it again, and this time there was a sense of direction to it. From behind me. It had come sooner as well. I felt it, the undeniable urge that everyone in every piece of horror fiction known has ever felt. That biting, raging need to turn around and look, even though you know IT is right behind you.

However, I had one thing over on all those chumps in those works of fiction. I wasn’t being forced to follow a script.

Oh, shit.

Hahahaha!

I felt my body freeze up, and then begin turning without my say so. My eyes rolled up, open wide in spite of my struggle to squeeze them shut. The beam of the flashlight washed out, down the trail behind me, towards the trees in the middle distance. A flicker of white, a figure in black, and my vision went haywire as that spike went through my skull again, my ears filled with the sound of static.

Shit!

Somehow, I found myself turned away from him, stumbling forward, running into something hard and feeling along it until I slipped past it. No. Slipped in to it.

I glanced up, my vision clearing, and found myself inside the building. And he was here.

Oh, shit!

No, no, no! Stay calm! STAY CALM! You just have to finish it! YOu’ve done this before! It wasn’t that hard! Just keep moving and find the notes! You can do this!

I took off a jog, down the dark, wet hallway, looking left and right as I saw doors go by, checking each room, praying and hoping. . . .

Nothing. Not here, but there was the other branch of the hallway. The one which was a dead end. I looked down it, already knowing what could happen. I didn’t even know if this was as “random” as it was in the actual game, or if fucking Eris was controlling the whole thing. If she was, there was no way in hell I was making it out of this building, unless she wanted me to.

Taking a breath, I steeled myself, and started down the hall. The base note thrummed softly down my spine. I gritted my teeth, moving towards the only door in the hall, at the end, on the right. I spun around the frame, expecting to see him in his suited, mind fucking glory. But, no. Instead, there was jsut an empty, graffiti scrawled room.

Well, empty but for the piece of paper hanging from the wall, directly across from the door.

I bored a hole through it with my eyes, my lip curling. You piece of shit, Eris, if I could I would fucking kill you, right now.

Hehehe. I know, but you can’t, so instead, you get to play my little game!

Fuck. You.

In spite of my anger, I knew she was right, and started walking forward, while that damned bass note sent a tremble down my spine. I walked up to the paper where it hung, all innocent and harmless. As much a bald faced lie as anything I’d ever seen. I gritted my teeth again, grinding them together in frustration, then reached out, grabbed the paper, and yanked it from the wall.

This time, the stab of pain was almost bearable, and was over with faster. But the bass note was suddenly louder, and more insistent in my ears, down my spine. I turned the paper over, wondering which it would be. . . .

BEHIND YOU

Of course.

I took a deep breath, feeling the pounding drum through the soles of my feet. Half the time, the message was just a red herring, meant to spook you. You’d whip around and look and there’d be nothing there.

Half the time.

There wasn’t a restart option on this. This was real. This had been made real by this insane, fucking chaos god taking me for a jog through the space-time continuum. If He got hold of me here. . . I wasn’t sure if I would make it out. I felt my heart grow cold as the bass beat thrummed harder, faster. My stomach dropped out the bottom of my feet, and felt my throat close up, and tears burned the corners of my eyes.

Why couldn’t I just be happy being in fucking paradise? Why’d I start all this? If I had just ignored my urges, not brought this. . . darkness, this corruption into being, into a land of joy and happiness it didn’t belong in, then none of this would have happened! I had treated this all like a joke! Like a comedy! But life isn’t like that, it doesn’t stay happy all the time, and when things are looking up, it’s only a matter of time before the bottom drops out, and the shit hits the fan.

Well, apparently Discord was the fan, and I was the shit about to get chopped to pieces.

Okay, then. Might as well get this over with.

I slowly turned, feeling the corners of my vision starting to warp. Fear like a jolt of icy lightning shot through my chest, but I ignored it, and turned fully, looking at the floor. I saw his shoes. Saw the wispy tendrils of his Darkness reaching out for me. Felt my mind starting to fall apart, felt his evil eating away at my brain.

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How do you think, silly?

I came to surrounded by nothing. Literally, I was floating in nothing, surrounded by a blank, white expanse of nothing. I could not tell how far the nothing stretched, because there was nothing to give me any sense of scale. I felt like I should probably start panicking, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to do so.

“So. . . . This is death, then.”

“Nope!” Said a cheerful voice from beside me, and I gasped, jerking in surprise and spotted. . . .

“Pinkie Pie?!” At least, I thought it was Pinkie. She looked a bit. . . .different.

“Do ya like it?!” She asked, enthusiastically, and stepped back, spreading her arms to gesture at her bipedal body, while her ears flicked back and forth atop her head. She was still a pony, but she was now much, MUCH more anthropomorphic than she had been before, with two long, human like legs, two arms and two hands. She was also much, MUCH more noticeably naked than before.

“Um , , , are those D cup?”

“Yeppers! I thought about going bigger, but just the thought made my back hurt!”

“Yeah, no, that’s fine. . . Um, but. . . why, though?”

“Why not?”

And with that reminder not to question the pink pony, I sighed, shaking my head and looked around. “So, if I’m not dead, where the Hel am I? What happened?”

“This place is called the Ether. A veil of mist and shadows that seperates our world from all the multitudinous others that exist out in the cosmos. . . . “ I stared at her, narrowing my eyes suspiciously. “. . . Yada, yada, yada, big words, poetic stuff, whatEVER! Basically, picture this: The multiverse is a great big, triple decker, mega-super-awesome Death-By-Chocolate Cake, and the Ether is the sweet, sweet strawberry-vanilla frosting that keeps it all together!”

Ah, there we go. A much more Pinkie answer.

“So, how’d I get here?”

“Simple, silly! I brought you here!” She giggled and snorted in the most adorable fashion that she had, covering her mouth with one gorgeous hand. She was beautiful, sexy and cute, all at the same time in this form. . . .

“Hehehe! You must like what you see, if you’re getting that turned on!” I went a bit wide eyed, and glanced down, realizing that I was for some reason naked, and now very obviously aroused. She waved a hand at me. “Oh, don’t be embarrassed! It’s perfectly fine!”

I looked away from her, sighing. “But, it’s not though, is it?”

“Fyren?”

I glanced back at the soft, worried sound of her voice. Her eyes locked with mine and I saw a depth of concern in them that I was not due. I shook my head. “I did all of this to myself. All because of these damned. . . . Your world is one of joy, and love and harmony. I mean. . . In my world. . . Um. . . .”

“We’re a kid’s show, yeah, I know.”

I looked at her for a second, then just shook my head with a small laugh. “So, you see. . . what the problem is.”

“Not really, no.” She said, voice gone abnormally calm and serious. I looked at her, seeing a face filled with determination. “I’m guessing you think what’s happened to you now, having Discord try to play mind games with you, all of that . . . I guess you think you deserve it. Right?”

I nodded, glancing away from her. “I didn’t belong in Equestria, Pinkie. It’s a place of purity and innocence. And all I brought to it was corruption and perversion. Objectification.”

“Objectification? Objectification?!” I glanced up, shocked by the vehemence in her voice, and saw her standing right in front of me, eye to angry, blue eye. “So, what? We were all just toys to you? Things to do with as you pleased, is that it? Is that how you looked at me?!”

I looked away, but her hand, surprisingly soft and warm, caught me by the chin and made me meet her eyes. “Well? You better start talking, buster, or I’m gonna get angry!”

I gulped and shook her hand off of me. “I guess, evidently, yes! That IS how I looked at you all. I mean, all I did since my other self started writing this was try to have sex with all of you, in as many obscene, twisted ways possible!”

“And now you’re tearing yourself up about it, huh?”

I looked at her, seeing her anger, and nodded, silently, looking down once more in shame.

When she burst out laughing, I looked up, eyes wide in surprise, before I felt a bit of anger spike it’s way through my despair. “Gee, thanks, Pinkie.”

She waved a hand, bending double and slapping her knees in mirth. “I-I’m sorry, Fyre! S-s-sorry! It’s just. . . Hahaha! It-It’s just, snrrk!” After a minute or so, she finally got her laughter under control and stood up straight, shaking her head and looking at me with bright, shining eyes.

“Okay, first off. . . I know you pretty well, Fyre. Better than you probably think. And, if our world was so ‘Pure’ and ‘Innocent’, I doubt you’d be so big a fan of it! My Little Pony does things that no other kid’s show does, or has done, in, like, forever!”

“Is it okay for you to be this meta?”

“I’m Pinkie Pie, I can do whatever I want!”

I bite back my initial response, mostly because she’s probably right, and sit back. She does have a point. I love the show for many reasons. It’s good, wholesome message is a part of it. But so is the fact that it’s not only willing, but ready to tackle issues like divorce, child abuse and even death, while doing so in an intelligent and thoughtful manner that doesn’t steal anything from the show’s ability to make you smile. It also makes me laugh, cheer, weep and feel. . . . How to describe it. . . . ?
“. . . . Whole?” Pinkie says, softly, and I look up at her, and feel my eyes start to sting with tears. I nod, once again remaining silent. She doesn’t need me to speak aloud for her to know what I’m thinking, anyway.

She smiles softly, and steps up, wrapping her arms around me. I stand there, weeping silently while she hugs me. She leans back, looking me in the eye and nods. “I understand, Fyren, believe me. You feel the show, our show, is the greatest thing to come into your life in a very, very long time, and you’re afraid that your sexuality and so forth might pervert, if not the actual show, then how you view it. Right?”

I just nod, biting my lip as I look anywhere but her eyes. With a little laugh, she tilts my head around to look her in the eyes once again. “Fyre, you silly human. That is such bullshit, and you know it.”

I blink at her language, frowning, and open my mouth to reply, but she puts a finger up against my mouth, silencing me.

“Fyre, you love to watch our show, because it reminds you of what it was like, in some small way, to be a kid again, and to not worry about things. To believe in Harmony, and to know what is right and wrong without having to think about it. But, you’re not a kid, anymore. You’ve grown up, and that’s fine. It’s perfectly normal and natural to do so. And, likewise, it’s also natural for your mind and body to become more sexually active, as you grow up. You love our show, for pure reasons, and you love us, the characters, for the same reasons. You do not objectify us, Fyren. Did you have sex with Flutters?”

At her question I blanched, biting my lip. “N-No. I wanted to, but. . . But it wouldn’t have felt right. It would have hurt her. . . . “

“Exactly! If you were viewing her as an object, you wouldnt’ve cared about her feelings! You’d’ve just done whatever and said to hell with it! When you had sex with Twilight and Rainbow, did you view them as objects? What about Starlight and Trixie?”

“I. . . . I. . . . “

“It doesn’t seem like it, to me!” She said, looking up from a book she suddenly held in her hands, the cover displaying the title and cover of my story. Yes. . . . My story. I wrote it, didn’t I?

“Existential crisis later! Look at me! It’s true, some of the sexy stuff here, and what you had planned for the future might have been a bit sudden, or not so well thought out, but, let’s face it, you’re not the greatest writer in the world, here, bub.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but, simply put, I had nothing. When the pink pony is right, she’s right.

“Exactarooney! Listen, throughout all of it, even when you got kinky and weird with Twi and the others, even when I rutted you into oblivion (sorry about that, btw), you never once forgot that we were more than just characters in a story. To you, we’re friends. Family, even. You love us as much as you do anyone from your real world life, and you would never do anything to hurt any of us. Right?”

I thought about her words for a long, long time, floating there in the white, empty blanket of the Ether. I was so uncertain, about everything. I wasn’t sure what to say, or do with what she had laid out before me. I felt the warmth of her hand, brushing a tear off my cheek, and looked up, locking eyes with her again.

“We all know that you mean us no harm, Fyre. We love you, too, ya know? Without you, and fans like you, we wouldn’t exist, in all our many different forms.”

I bit my lip, and shook my head. “I dunno, Pinkie. Maybe you’re right. But I just don’t know what to do. . . . “

“Simple, silly! Smile! And don’t worry too much about it. Go take a break for a while, write some other small horse words, get your groove back. We won’t go anywhere. I won’t go anywhere.”

With that, she leaned forward, and pressed her lips to mine, the kiss soft and gentle, and tasting of sweet strawberries, cherries and cotton candy all rolled into one. I melted into it, wrapping my arms around her and holding her close. This wasn’t about sex, or pleasure. That was forgotten in the simple warmth and comfort of a friend. Of being close to another, someone, somepony that brought a smile to my face and joy to my heart.

As the kiss broke, I sighed softly, and smiled at her, which made her grin broadly. “Atta boy! Go on and get ‘em, leopard!” I chuckled, stepping back and, with a mischievous glint in my eye, booped her nose.

“I’ll be back, Pinkie. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” I said, making the motions, and never had I meant something so much as I meant that Pinkie Promise.

She smiled at me and winked. “And we’ll all be here waiting for you, when you come back, Fyre.”

I nodded, and turned away, seeing a shimmer of what may have been a tear in her eyes before I lost sight of her.

Somewhere between looking at her, and turning around, I woke up in my closet, back home on Earth Prime. I slowly sat up, feeling that the binds that Eris had put on me were gone now. I took a breath, shaking my head as my bearings reset, and stood, fumbling until I found the doorknob.

I opened up the closet and stepped out into my small, cramped little bedroom. I sighed softly, feeling . . . alone. More than anything, right then, I felt so alone. My heart felt slow and heavy in my chest as I walked over to my desk, my laptop glowing away on it, and flopped into my chair.

Had ANY of that been real? Was it all just a dream? Had I suffered some psychotic episode?

Would I ever see my friends again?

I leaned forward, looking at the story that was written so far on the screen, and blinked, as my eyes scanned it, finding a video file linked that I had not put there. Clicking on it, I was greeted with this:

. . . . . .

I wiped the tear from my eye and smiled softly. sitting back and looking it over. It was only for a little while, and then I’d be back. I Pinkie Promised, after all. And everypony knows better than to break a Pinkie Promise.

I stood under the beating spray of the shower, staring straight ahead at the wall beyond the curtain of water. My eyes flinched occasionally at the patter of the water, but I did not look away. I stood, and stared, and thought. My mind drifted through currents of emotion, thoughts of denial, loss and grief. And most of all, I pondered.

Was any of it real? Or was it all jsut some dream? A psychotic break? Had a gone insane?

In spite of the video file I found attached to my story, I still wondered this, because in the end, if I had gone insane, I could have put that there and not remembered it. Still, my memories of Equestria were so . . . so vivid. I could feel it, hear it, smell it. Taste it. It was all still so real in my mind, and yet somehow still so unreal. Like a lucid dream, it felt like I had experienced all of it, yet none of it. Could it have been real? If so, how? How could I have started out writing a story, and somehow wound up inside of it? Or . . . no, that wasn’t right. I had not ended up inside of it, not entirely. It was more like some small part of me had, a piece of my consciousness had awoken within the words that I had written, and found itself there, in that beautiful heaven, Valhalla, that paradise of freedom and love. . . .

I bent my head beneath the flow of the water and ground my teeth. Even to me, now, in my head, it all sounded insane. Like a weird dream or a drug trip. THere was now way it was real, and, even if it was. . . .

I could not go back. I had no idea how I got there in the first place, if I had, and I had no way of replicating it.

With a sigh, I finished my shower, trying to pretend it was just the water that was running down my face. . . .

My eyes blearily opened, and I groaned at the sound of the alarm going off in my ear. Reaching out I shut it off, and seriously considered just calling in, but I needed the money. Rent wouldn’t pay itself, after all.

And so, with a groaning sigh, I levered myself out of bed, washed up, brushed my teeth, ate a quick, less than healthy breakfast and got dressed. I noticed things as I did. Things I never paid attention to, before. How uncomfortable the clothes were, how bland the food tasted, and how dull and grey everything was. I shook it off and took off walking to work. The world was what it was, dull, grey, cracked and flawed. Nothing different, nothing missing. . . . Nothing.

I got to work and clocked in, walking back to the meeting. I leaned up against the wall as the manager went on about how our sales had been going, and that we all needed to pick up our speed. She started the cheer, and I ground my teeth as I clapped my hands, barely managing to keep myself from snapping during the ridiculous display. A group of grown people at work, acting like a bunch of high school cheer leaders. It was stupid. So . . . so. . . .

I was on the truck, today, which meant standing next to a “conveyor belt” and helping items move down the line, occasionally plucking things that went to my assigned department off and placing them aside on pallets. Apparently, someone at corporate had sneaked in and changed things around in the dictionary, because last I checked “Conveyor belt” didn’t mean a shoddy steel accordion-thingie with a bunch of wheels on it, but, what do I know?

It went by in a blur, yet seemed to take forever. I sat outside on break, eating a chocolate bar, the taste of peanut butter and nougat mixing in my mouth. Then I was on the floor, down my accustomed aisle, stocking condiments. The narrowest aisle in the store was also the most busy, and half my time it seemed was spent huddling up against my cart of the shelves, clutching a box to my chest or holding my hands folded in front of myself defensively while old people gawked at the shelves, fat people stood and chatted, and children ran screaming up and down the aisle while their parents argued over what type of pickles they wanted.

Lunch went by with me sitting at home, staring at my computer screen, wishing and hoping for something to happen. Something to prove to me I wasn’t crazy, and that there was some hope for freedom yet again, but I saw nothing. No chance, and no hope.

Back at work, I finished stocking my aisle, finally, and then spent a bit of time cleaning up. I put any partially stocked cases up on the riser above the shelves, and then went about the rest of my night, helping where I was told to help.

I walked home, silent and alone.

Alarm off, rise, clean up, eat, walk to work. Same Shit, Different Day. I felt the hardness of the concrete beneath the soles of my shoes, and hated it.

Back on my aisle, I stood, huddled up beside my cart as five different groups of people wandered down the aisle, trying to find a way around each other and me, only to be held up behind a particularly fat woman on a scooter, sitting, blinking owlishly up at the shelf as though she had never seen barbecue sauce, before, which would have obviously been a lie.

I ground my teeth, closing my eyes for a moment against the pain in my head and the ache in my heart, and for a moment I saw a beautiful green park, a bright blue sky and a friendly smile on a pink pony’s face.

I blinked back to reality, if that’s what you wanted to call this place I was in, and felt my heart stutter for a moment, before continuing on it’s course.

At break at sat, alone, as usual, and stared off into the distance, seeing nothing.

I finished my aisle before lunch, got everything cleared away and went about helping where they told me to help. HBA, shampoo, soap and razors. Yay.

At lunch I cried in front of my computer, praying for something, anything. But I received no answer.

I finished my work in silence, ignoring or shrugging off anyone who tried to speak to me. Their voices were only causing my head to hurt worse, anyway. I walked home, alone, again, and unlocked my door. I walked inside, stripping off my clothes until I was naked, and went and collapsed into bed. I thought about turning on the computer, for a moment, to look up . . . anything. Anything to take my mind off of this. Funny videos, a swordfighting manual, movie trailers, porn. . . .

In the end, I rolled over and cried myself to sleep.

Alone.

Same Shit, Different Day.

Worked my aisle, ate lunch. Nothing special.

Walked home, cried into my ravioli.

Yeah, I’m fucked. This is fucked. Life is fucked.

I stared at the computer, my lip twitching as I fought between weeping and smashing the piece of shit and throwing it in the trash. I stared at the story I had written. At where I left it off.

Fuck my life. Fuck this shit. FUCK!

I glared at the computer, and felt an itch in my fingertips. Before I knew it, I was typing out the experiences I had over the past days. The discomfort, the depression. THe idiots and rude people. The ones who walked by me without looking or even turning their heads, like I didn’t exist. The ones who chewed me out because the store didn’t carry the item they were looking for. The ones who acted like they knew the store better than I did. Because they knew that we carried this item, and I just didn’t know where it was, so they’d look on their own. Managers who don’t give a shit, colleagues who thought I was bad at my job, or who made snide remarks, or who outright acted like I was an idiot who didn’t know what I was doing.

It all came pouring out into the story I had been writing, and when I was done, I collapsed into bed and passed out, not even bothering to turn off my computer.

S.S.D.-

SHIT!

I was running late!

I hurried through clean up, didn’t bother eating anything, and got dressed haphazardly.

I got to work without a minute to spare, and ran back to the meeting. The manager had to make a snarky remark about my timing, but I just smiled and nodded, and fell into place.

I went through my day as usual, trying not to get yelled at, or piss anyone off, and most importantly, trying to not lose my cool in the face of the compiled stupidity and rudeness of the people I had to deal with.

My head was killing me, and by the time I got home for lunch, I thought it was going to pop. I took some pills and collapsed into my chair with a bowl of cereal, sighing. I ate several bites, and then glanced up at my computer.

. . . .

Nothing. I sighed, shutting it down, and finished eating. I wanted to cry, but I was too tired. This, then, was what it felt like to have tasted heaven and then be cast out. I found myself feeling a bit of sympathy for Lucifer, oddly enough.

I went back to work, finished my task, and went home, collapsing once more into bed.

Eat, work, sleep, repeat. It’s all I had the energy or the drive to do. It doesn’t take a shrink to recognize the symptoms of depression. But it’s one thing to know you have a problem. Quite another to muster the will or the courage to do something about it.

I needed help, and I had no one to give me any.

No one.

S.S.D.D.

I did my job, and went home, and collapsed in front of my dark, silent computer, and stared at it. It was worthless. I was worthless, hopeless, helpless. Nothing was going to happen to save me from this shit. Nothing at all. I stared deep into the darkness of the screen, into my own reflection, cast in the odd, otherworldly way that such screens tend to do.

I thought about it, and knew I was insane. Nothing I thought had happened had happened, it was all in my head. My Little Pony was a cartoon show, fiction, written for children. There wasn’t some other universe out there where it was real. Equestria was not a real place, it didn’t exist. And neither did they. Their faces, real and fully formed, flickered through my mind. Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity, Fluttershy, Spike, Starlight, Trixie. . . And Pinkie Pie. I thought about her, thought about the friendly smile always there to make you happy. Thought about her laugh, and her beautiful face. I thought about the warm comfort I remembered so clearly feeling in her arms.

I held it all in my head as I fell into bed, and drifted away to sleep. . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . .

Twilight sat, humming softly to herself, eyes glued to the book in front of her. She glanced up as she heard the old tree around her creak in displeasure at the howling winds outside, but she knew she was safe in here. The Golden Oak had stood for decades, and it would take more than a bit of wind to bring it down.

She looked down once more at the book on the table with keen interest. She wasn’t entirely certain what the book was about, or even what the words on it’s pages were. Whenever she tried to think of that, her mind seemed to grow fuzzy. Be that as it may, it wasn’t important, and she kept reading with rapt fascination.

She wasn’t sure how much time passed as she read, before she became aware of a feeling, a sensation she wasn’t overly familiar with, but which something inside her told her was that of being stared at. She lifted her head and glanced around, frowning. Upon seeing nothing, however, she lowered her eyes once more to the book in front of her.

She read for several minutes more, when she heard a sound, another creak. She at first attributed it to the tree settling around her again, but something in her mind whispered that it had sounded different. Off, somehow.

She glanced up, ears flicking as she cast her large, lavender eyes around the interior of the tree. “Spike? Is that you?” She called, softly. Only silence answered her, ringing in her ears. Even the wind from outside seemed to have stopped. Looking around, she realized that it must have been much later than she thought it was, as the light from her lamp was throwing a golden halo on the floor around her, and outside that illumination, was nothing but pitch black darkness.

She cleared her throat softly, standing up, and lifted the lamp in her magic, licking her lips softly. “S . . . Spike?” She called again, and again nothing answered but the ringing, deathly silence that had fallen over the Golden Oak.

She swallowed and started walking in the direction she felt the stairs should be in, uncertain of her bearings in the total darkness. She could not understand why she was unable to see anything outside of the circle of light; she couldn’t even see the outline of the library’s windows. She walked, and walked, and then stopped, feeling a chill run up her spine and her breath grow short. The stairs weren’t here, and she had walked far enough that, even had she been going in the wrong direction, she should have hit a wall.

“K-Keep calm, Twilight. There must be a rational explanation for this.” She muttered to herself, looking around. The wood lay beneath her hooves, the floor so familiar to her after so many years of calling this place home. The thought brought an odd sensation of melancholy to her heart, and she wasn’t sure why. Trying to think of it made her head spin.

There was a sound, from behind her, a breath being drawn, short and sharp, and she spun, eyes wide, holding the lamp higher in her magic, trying to spread it’s light farther. “Who’s there?!” She snapped, readying a defensive spell in her mind, just in case. She wasn’t sure what was going on here, but something was wrong, she could feel it.

“Sp-Spike?! If that’s you, you’d better come out! This isn’t funny!” She said, loudly, her voice falling flat in the darkness. She swallowed again, setting out into the darkness, casting about, looking this way and that for some answer as to what was happening, but again only silence and darkness met her.

Silence as she walked across the hardwood floor.

She turned her eyes down, and they widened as she saw, rather than wood, a soft carpet of moss or lichen covering the ground at her hooves. Looking up, she realized she was somewhere in the Everfree Forest. She spun, biting her lip, seeing trees everywhere, and three paths through the trees. She was no stranger to the Everfree, but this place did not look familiar. It certainly wasn’t on the way to Zecora’s hut, that was for sure.

“Spike?! Are you out here?!” She called, and, taking a gamble, set off down one of the paths.

The forest had an unearthly silence to it, wrong even in this place that was always strange. Strange or not, this was still a forest, it still had weather and animals. She could see the branches of the trees, faintly outlined above her, moving in the wind, so why could she not hear them? Why were there no sounds of the forest animals moving about. Even this late, there should be some scurrying about here and there.

“F-Fluttershy? Are you here?!” She called softly, voice cracking in fear as she moved through the trees. The silence was broken again by a drawn breath, from somewhere to her right, and she spun, lifting her torch above her head, it’s flickering light glowing across the faces of the trees around her. But there was nothing there.

She shook her head. “Get control of yourself, Twilight!” She snapped, turning and continuing at a faster pace down the forest trail, looking for any sign of somepony she knew. Any sign that she wasn’t lost in the Everfree at night.

She found nothing. Nothing but more darkness, more silence. More path. She turned around at some point, hoping to make her way back to the nexus of paths that she had started at, but after walking what seemed like for ages, much longer than she had going the other way, she still had not found it.

“Fluttershy?! Where are you?!” She called, loudly, voice laced with panic. “Applejack?! Starlight?! Rainbow Dash?! Is anypony here?!” She felt like her heart was running a marathon in her chest, and this was only made worse by the continued, occasional noises around her. A twig snap here, a breath there. At one point, she even thought she heard a masculine voice whispering her name.

“Who’s there?! What do you want from me?!” She screamed, her panic and fear finally getting the best of her.

”Twilight.”

With a scream, she spun, her lamp flaring, and it lit up a nightmare; a bright red face, monkey like with obscene proportions, cowled in darkness and with a large, bristling white mustache above a mouth filled with fangs. She screamed again, spinning around and running through the woods.

Flames licked at her tail and mane as she leaped through the fire that burned all around her, clearing a fallen log. Somewhere in her mind, her logic center made the connection that she must’ve dropped her lantern, but it was a fleeting thought, as she could hear whatever that thing was behind her, in front of her, all around her.

Occasionally, it would appear from no where, towering above her, red face wrapped in a cloak of shadow, and she would turn and run, and run, and run, and run. . . .

She ran until she tripped, falling, tumbling, sliding down a slope and to the bottom of a ravine. She looked up, finding herself on the Pie family farm, and she scurried to her hooves, running as fast as possible for the end of the ravine. She could see the farmhouse, in the distance, on the opposite side of a field, past the end of the ravine. But, no matter how hard she ran, flew or even teleported herself, the end of the ravine never grew any closer, and behind her she could feel that thing growing closer, closer. . . .

She felt it reach out, felt it’s hand like a brand on her flank, and she screamed. With every breath she could take, she screamed. . . .

. . . . . . . . . .

And then she woke up.

Luna sat back in her throne as Twilight finished regaling her and her sister with the tale. The Lunar Princess ought to have been in bed, now, fast asleep in her own dreams, but Celestia had called for her, telling her that Twilight was in need of help. Her sister’s tone made it clear this was no trifle, and Luna had hurried to the throne room.

Twilight sat, along with her friends, in the middle of the room. Aside from Starlight and Trixie, the other five all looked exhausted. Even Spike looked like he’d had a bad night’s sleep. Luna simply could not understand it. All five stated that they had received similar nightmares, the night before. That they had been doing something peaceful, or normal, or relaxing. Normal dreams, but which had shifted to nightmare upon them each becoming aware of a sensation of being watched. Upon going to investigate, the dreams had fallen apart, becoming chaotic and terrifying, as the ponies were stalked by an unknown horror. Of the six, only Twilight had actually seen this entity, but to Luna’s mind there was no doubt the same creature was involved.

It made no sense. How could something have stepped into any of her ponies’ dreams without her being aware? She had not even sensed that any of the Element Bearers had any dreams, the night before, which in itself had struck her as strange, though not unheard of. Six ponies sharing a night of dreamless sleep is one thing. Six ponies, and all close friends, bonded by love as well as magic, all sharing a night of nightmares, however? That was more than mere coincidence.

Luna stood, looking down at the friends beneath her and nodded. “My little ponies, fear not. I will, with your permission, enter each of your dreams this evening, and try to get to the bottom of this.”

Twilight and her friends all looked at her with relief and hope, knowing that if anypony could help them, it was Luna. “Oh, thank you, Princess Luna. Thank you so much!” Twilight said, smiling, and her friends all seconded her statement.

“Yeah, thanks, Princess, you’re awesome!”

“Super-dee-duper-dee!”

“Thank you ever so much, Your Highness!”

“Oh, if it’s not too much trouble, Princess, that would be lovely.”

“That’d be a mighty fine thing, ta have yer help, Princess!”

Even Starlight, Trixie and Spike all smiled and showed their appreciation. After that, the exhausted crew all left, talking softly amongst themselves. Luna sat in quiet contemplation at the task ahead of her, chewing her lip.

She was interrupted by the feeling of eyes upon her, and turned to see her sister staring at her.

“I have not seen you this withdrawn in a long time, Sister. What is the matter?”

“I am not sure, Tia. This. . . . It reminds me of the Tantabus, but that being is gone, brought back inside of me and put to rest where it belongs. I don’t know what this is.”

“You did not sense their nightmares?”

“No, Sister. There are only a few things that can do that. If we are lucky, it is something simple, an excitavit somnus, perhaps, although I doubt it. It would take a lucid dreamer of some power and skill to do this, and I am fairly certain there are none of that magnitude alive anymore.”

“And if we are not lucky?”

Luna looked up at her sister, chewing her lip. “I do not wish to think about that, dear Sister.” She said, and left it at that.

Standing, Luna shook out her mane and nodded to her sister. “Wake me early, tonight, if you would, Tia. I must get my rest. I have a busy night ahead.”

I wasn’t sure where I was when I opened my eyes, or what time it was. That should have panicked me, as I knew I needed to be back to work, but I just didn’t care anymore. I slowly raised my head out of the soft, cool cradle of my pillow and glanced around.

It was then I realized I wasn’t in my room, this wasn’t my bed, and I was in trouble, in exactly that order.

My first clue was the blanket of stars up above me, sparkling gently in the night sky. Upon observing this, I blinked, realizing that my little futon had never felt this soft, comfy or. . . wet? Glancing down, I realized I was laying on a cloud. It was then that my brain decided to remind me that one could not lay on a cloud, at which point physics kicked back into gear, and I dropped through the heavy bank of moisture and began to plummet towards the spinning earth below.

Yeah, that was about when I figured out I was in trouble.

“SHIIIIITTTT!!!!” I screamed as I fell blindly through the darkness, wind whipping through my hair and whistling in my ears. The screams of terror were ripped from my throat and lost to the night sky and the merciless pull of gravity.

As I fell, and my body panicked and flailed to no avail to find a way to halt my descent, my brain seemed irrationally calm, thoughts moving steadily along through it. How did I get here? Where was here? How had I been sitting on that cloud?

. . . . . . . . . .

It was that thought that made me stop struggling, my screams dying away and a frown curling my brow. That was . . . a very, very good question. How had I been atop that cloud when I woke up? And how did I get from my bedroom to here? Such a blatant disregard for the laws of physics and reality would only make sense if I was. . . .

With a sudden jolt, I simply stopped falling. I glanced down and realized that I could not see anything beneath me, aside from an expanse of stars, shimmering and glinting, the same as were above my head, and all around. I turned about and blinked as my eyes landed upon an innocuous sight; a door, apparently floating in midair. It was painted a deep blue colour, and had what looked like stars dotting it, as well, and a small window, shaped like a crescent moon. The sight brought a sense of familiarity, as though I had seen it before, but for the life of me, I could not place where.

Feeling an insatiable urge, I stepped forward slowly, the sensation of doing so when there was nothing apparently beneath me rather unnerving, and came to a stop in front of the door. This close, I saw that the stars weren’t painted on, but instead glimmered just like those in the sky around me. I slowly reached out a hand, and hesitated before the doorknob. With a surreal sort of logic, the sort that comes along with dreaming, it occurred to me that it might be rude just to barge in through this door, and so instead, I raised my hand and knocked three times. Each one echoed for no apparent reason through the empty air around me, as though the sound was bouncing off of the million and one stars twinkling softly in the darkness.

With a soft click and hushed sound of moving air, the door opened of its own accord, yawning wide to reveal darkness on the other side. For the first time, I felt a sense of foreboding. Probably due to the horror-esque feel of the moment, and I took a step back, swallowing hard as I looked into the darkness. “H. . . Hello?” I asked, like every moron in every horror film ever.

There was no response, only silence from the other side. I stared into those shadows, eyes straining to see something, anything, that might give me a hint as to what lay on the other side, but the blackness was impenetrable.

I was starting to think that maybe I should turn about and leave well enough alone, and pondered on how I had the wherewithal in a dream to think that at all, when I heard something. Or, at least, I thought I did. It was a soft sound, not even a whisper, just a breath of air. It came from within the dark, on the other side of the door. I felt a shot of adrenaline blast through my system, and swallowed past a lump of fear in my throat. I took another step backwards, biting my lip. “Who’s there?” I asked, steeling my voice to sound manly and brave. It came out as more of a squeak, but I count it as a victory that I was able to say anything at all.

For a long moment, there was silence, and I slowly leaned forward, focused on listening to the darkness beyond the doorway. As seconds ticked by in my head, I began to think I had simply imagined it, and again wondered what kind of dream this was that it would feel so real, so visceral, and wherein I could think so clearly.

Fyre. . .

I jumped at the faint but very real sound of my name that drifted as though on a fog out of the doorway. I took a step back, swallowing hard, eyes wide, and ground my teeth to keep from screaming, as my pulse pounded in my chest and my veins screamed with an overflow of adrenaline.

Fyre. . .

“Who are you?!” I snapped in a panic as I staggered back from the door. Something in my head, a small voice of reason, was trying to tell me that, through the distortion, there was something very familiar about the voice, feminine, strong and powerful, yet kind and empathetic at once. But at the moment, I was a bit too preoccupied with hyperventilating to notice. This was only made worse when my attempted retreat from the door was suddenly halted and I looked down to find myself encompassed in a deep blue aura that sent tingles all over my skin. I screamed in raw panic.

Fyre? The voice seemed almost concerned now, and was quickly losing it’s distortion. However, at that moment the aura went from tingling to sending little pinpricks through my flesh, and I started moving towards the door, against my will. This of course did not help the panic, and I began struggling, my ability to reason quickly flying out the window. . . if there had been a window, that is. Although, I guess there was one on the door. . . Actually, never mind.

The aura attempted to pull me through the door, into that yawning maw of blackness on the other side, and I could just see some gigantic monster waiting to eat me. Maybe that’s why it was so dark! Maybe this was literally just the mouth of a monster, and I had been yelling down it’s freakin’ throat for the last five minutes! I screamed, and managed to reach out an arm and grab the frame of the ‘door’ with one hand. How I got the hand free from the aura, I didn’t know and didn’t care. I latched on and clung for dear life. The aura pulsed for a moment with something I could only describe as impatience, and gave me a sharp tug.

Fyre, let go of the door. There was that voice again, sounding all familiar and comforting, clearly trying to get me to drop my guard so it could eat me!

“No!” I snapped. Ha! That showed it!

”Let go of the door, Fyren.”

That time the voice was less comforting and more. . . yeah, definitely impatient. Geez, was I about to die at the hands of the Elder God of Fat Chicks? Nommed liked a twinkie! What a sucky way to die! Ah, Hel no!

“Fuck off, you eldritch abomination!” I shouted at the top of my lungs into the gaping blackness on the other side of the door, which was looming closer in spite of my grip on the door.

”Fyren! You are going to break your fingers, now let go!”

“I said, fuck. Off!” Damn, this thing was persistent! And what did it care if my fingers were broken, it was just going to eat me, anyway!

One of these days, I’ll learn to calm down and think rationally in these situations, I swear.

. . . . . . . . . .

I felt the darkness on the other side of the door shift, heard it draw in a deep breath in frustration and consternation. There was a small flicker of blue light on the other side of the door, somewhere in all the darkness, and then. . . .

”FYREN LOKIEIÐR, YOU WILL RELEASE THAT DOOR FRAME THIS INSTANT, OR I SWEAR ON MY SISTER’S NAME, I WILL DRAG YOU IN HERE, BROKEN FINGERS OR NOT!!!”

Now THAT voice was familiar on a whole other level. The volume was such that it whipped my hair back from my face, and caused me to lean backwards, in spite of the tight grip of the magical aura that surrounded me. In such a moment, my mind went blank, and my fingers released the door frame without my conscious approval, and, like a whip, I was snatched through the portal and into the darkness.

I fell apart, literally, as I seemed to tumble in all directions at once, spinning around and around without end, like a sock in a dryer. But, even though the sock may feel as though it’s journey is without end, eventually, it does come to a stop, and, like that sock, I smacked hard into the earth without warning, and lay there with a groan.

The first thing I noticed upon opening my eyes was the grass, soft and green under the moonlight that shone down from above. Then, I saw the shoes. They weren’t shoes as I normally would think of them, but that is what they were, nonetheless, and I knew this. They were made of silver, and shaped in such a way that they gracefully fitted the hooves of their owner with curves and spirals, looking like something from a Druid’s wet dream.

I ran my eyes up the shapely, slender forelegs, covered in fur that was a rich shade of midnight blue, up to the chest, strong and covered with a breastplate of blackened steel, marked in argent with a crescent moon and stars. Past that, up her graceful neck, to her face, beautiful in the light of the stars and moons that she had planned and placed with meticulous care in the night sky. Her wings were flared out above and behind her, framing her and making her seem even taller than she was.

“You are a very, very vexing mortal, Fyren Lokieiðr.” Princess Luna said, her tone sounding none too pleased, and I gulped, staring up at her, utterly enraptured. In all my time in Equestria, I had never actually gotten to meet either of the royal sisters, although Twilight had told me that they were both very interested in my circumstances and wished to meet me. I had wound up being dropped back onto Earth Prime before the chance had arisen. To suddenly and without warning find myself lying on the ground before one of them, and the one to whom I granted the title of ‘Best Princess’, no less, was a shock to the system. The fact that I had spent the last week growing more and more certain that nothing of my time in Equestria had been real probably didn’t help, either.

And so, looking up in those piercing blue eyes, that gorgeous face, that flowing mane which held all the stars in the sky in it’s flowing locks, I could find but one thing, and one thing only to say.

“Whut?”

She blinked down at me for a moment, and then a smile lifted the corners of her mouth and she shook her head. “Oh, my dear mortal, you really are full of it, aren’t you?” She said, chuckling softly, and I shook my head, blinking in shock, and then, realizing where I was at, exactly, I scurried up onto one knee and bowed my head.

“Princess! I . . . I’m sorry, I just. . . Wha-?!” Her laughter cut me off, and I glanced up to see her trying in vain to cover her mouth and keep her deep, rich laugh contained. She shook her head, holding up a hoof towards me.

“I-I’m sorry, Fyren, I know you must be confused, it is simply. . . Oh, never mind. Rise, child, there is no need to kneel like that!”

I scurried to my feet, finding that her head came up to the middle of my chest. Somehow, this didn’t make her any less imposing or impressive to look at or be near, and I felt myself bouncing from one foot to another like a nervous child. She noticed and, chuckling, put one wing around me. “It is nice, to meet someone who feels so strongly about my presence. Most such childlike awe is kept for my sister.” Her gaze went distant momentarily, and I knew she was probably thinking about what that fact had once led to.

The knowledge stilled my excitement, although it was still there, and I waited silently for her to come back to herself. However, my gaze was drawn away from my princess to the landscape around us. I frowned as I took it in. It was a beautiful Equestrian night, but. . .

“Princess, if you don’t mind my asking, where are we, exactly? I don’t recognize anything around here.”

She looked up, blinking and smiled slightly. “No, you wouldn’t. This is the dream realm, Fyren. Specifically, we are inside my own dreamscape, now.”

I glanced at her, eyes wide. “This is your dream?” I asked, wondering why she would have brought me here.

She nodded. “Yes. You see, I need your help, Fyren. But, with you gone back to your own world, I could not reach you, even through the dream realm, using my waking mind. I had to let myself dream, in order to travel deeply enough into dreamspace to find you.”

I blinked, my mouth opening as it finally dawned on me, as it truly sunk in. This was real. Well, it was a dream, technically, but it was real. I hadn’t dreamed it, before, I hadn’t lost my mind. I had been to Equestria, and here I was, talking to Princess Luna in her own dreamscape. She had traveled through the dream realms to find me, because she . . . needed my help?

“What do you mean, my help? What can I possibly do that you can’t?” I asked, dumbfounded, and she glanced at me, a worried expression on her face.

“There is a threat in Equestria, Fyren. One which I fear has it’s roots in your own world.”

“What?!”

She nodded softly at my outburst. “I understand your shock. It had me confused for some time as well. Ponies, especially Twilight and her friends, have been being plagued by nightmares for several nights now. They are being hunted, chased by some creature that they only catch glimpses of.”

As she spoke, she led me around a winding path through a grove a trees, until we came out on the shore of a small lake, it’s waters reflecting the beauty of the moon like a mirror. At it’s center sat a small island, shaded by a lovely tree. With a glow of her horn, we were suddenly standing on the island, under the tree, and she sat beneath it’s boughs, and I sat across from her, cross legged on the soft soil.

She continued: “At Twilight’s behest, I entered each of their dreams last night, and attempted to catch the being responsible. He eluded capture, however I did get a good look at him. He is a human, like yourself, but he has a power that you do not yet possess. He is an Excitivit Somniorum. An Awakened Dreamer. He has the ability to lucid dream.”

I gaped at her, shaking my head. “So. . . So, wait. He came into their dreams? I thought only you could do things like that, Princess?”

She shook her head, smiling softly, though her eyes remained serious. “No, Fyren. I am a dreamwalker, yes, but I am far from the only one. There are many such beings, from all over the multiverse, like the Sandman, from your own reality, who can step into creatures’ dreams to aid or hinder their sleep. It is true, however, that most mortals lack this ability, however a rare few who have mastered the art of lucid dreaming, or excitivit somnia, in old Ponish, can sometimes do so. However, only a true master can create a portal between two realms of the multiverse, which, I fear, is what this man is trying to do.”

I blinked, overwhelmed by the knowledge before me, and so latched on to something I could do, a question I could ask while my brain processed all of this information. “You know about the multiverse?”

She chuckled softly. “Oh, yes, Fyren. Pinkie Pie, while unique, for a mortal, in her ability to bridge the divide between realms while awake, is not the only one who can do so. The dreamrealms encompass all of reality, after all, and knows no barriers. I believe Pinkie Pie told you of the Ether, correct?”

At my nod, she continued. “Simply put, the dreamrealms are the part of the Ether that is closest to reality. That said, they are not connected simply to any one reality, and those of us who know how can use them as a bridge between worlds.”

And now, finally, my mind latched on to something. Something concrete. “You mean you can travel between realities? Between universes?” She must have seen the fire of dawning realization in my eyes for a smile played over her muzzle.

“Indeed, Fyren. Those who have truly mastered the power can do so, but, only if they have a concrete connection to the reality they are travelling to. For instance, if you knew how to lucid dream, you could use your close friendship with the Element bearers to travel to Equestria from your own world, or vice versa.”

My mind was alight, on fire with this knowledge. A way to return to Equestria of my own will! I looked at Luna and took a breath, frowning. “I . . . I don’t suppose you could teach me how to do that, then, could you?” I asked, not holding out much hope.

Much to my surprise, she laughed. “In fact, Fyren, that is exactly why I brought you here!”

I looked at her in shock for a moment, then narrowed my eyes. “Let me guess. In exchange, you want my help catching this guy, right?”

She nodded slowly. “Indeed, Fyren. A lucid dreamer is a difficult opponent, even for one such as myself. He can shape and control the dream around himself, as well as make doorways to other dreams. If I cannot chain him to a single dream, or find him in reality, I can do nothing to stop him myself.”

I sat back on my heels, licking a tooth in thought. It wasn’t too odd to me, what she was saying. I remembered how much difficulty she had in catching the Tantabus, when it had been going haywire through everypony’s dreams. From what she was saying, a lucid dreamer had much the same ability to escape her, but without the handy factor of being emotionally tied to her own mind. No amount of accepting herself or coming to terms with her emotions would help her catch this guy.

“What does he want here? Do you know?”

She shook her head sadly. “No. He seems to be obsessed with Twilight and her friends, the Element Bearers, as well as a few others in Ponyville. He goes into their dreams and stalks them, turning what may have been a pleasant experience into a nightmare.”

I narrowed my eyes in thought, an idea starting to form already in my head. Noticing, she lifted an eyebrow. “What is it?”

I shook me head. “I don’t know, yet. I need more intel, but in order to get that, I think you need to teach me this trick.”

She nodded. “Very well, Fyren Lokieiðr. Come, kneel before me.” She said, and I moved forward, placing myself on both knees before her and bowed my head. I felt her lean over me, felt her horn touch my head, the tip scratching along my scalp, and then I felt the tingle of her magic, right before the neurons in my brain erupted into fire, and my vision went white. . . .

With a gasp, I jerked awake and looked around. My bedroom greeted me, and I sank back against the wall as I got my breathing under control. I glanced aside at the clock and blew a breath out of my nose as I felt my heart sink. It had all been a dream. Again, I had my prize dangled in front of me, only to be snatched away by the cruel hand of reality. And, to make matters worse, I was an hour late for work. Why I had not heard my alarm go off, I’ll never know, but-

”Fyren, can you hear me?”

“WAAHH! FUCKME!!!” I screamed, jumping so hard I fell off the bed, blankets tangled around my feet. I jumped up, only to promptly fall once more to the ground. I finally got my feet untangled and looked around, but saw that I was alone in my room. “What the fuck?!”

”I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Are you alright?”

“Luna?! Where. . . how. . . ?!”

”The spell snapped you back to your conscious state. I am however hopeful that it worked, as enough of your consciousness has remained here to allow me to speak with you.”

I blinked, rubbing my eyes, and shook my head. “So, wait. . . what, are we telepathically linked, now, or something?”

“In a sense, yes. As a lucid dreamer, a part of your conscious mind will remain here in the Dreamrealms at all times. What this means is that any other lucid dreamers, or Dreamwalkers like myself, can communicate with you, so long as they can form a connection. In this case, I am the one that gifted you with the ability in the first place.”

“Wow.” I muttered, feeling my heart swell once more as I realized that it hadn’t been a dream. I looked once more at my clock and a grin spread across my face. Work could go fuck itself. My Princess needed me, and I’d be damned if I let her down. With that thought making me equal parts determined and giddy, I sat down on the edge of my bed. “Okay. Okay, what do I do now?”

”Lay down, and I will teach you how to enter the Dreamrealms without falling into a natural sleep, first.”

I did as instructed, laying down on my back and making myself comfortable. ”Good. Now, close your eyes and relax. Focus on your breathing, and your breathing only. When it is all you can hear and all you can think of, then picture a place, any place. Somewhere you know well, and feel comfortable in. That will become your corner of the Dreamrealms. Once you have it in your mind, hold it there, and focus on it. Stay focused on it, and it alone, until it becomes real. . . .

I wasn’t sure when her voice started to tune out, or when I stopped hearing her altogether, but once I did become aware, I felt a moment of panic, and my fingers scrabbled around me, seeking purchase. They clenched against the earth, grass tickling my palms, and I opened my eyes, sucking in a breath as I realized that I was sitting under the tree in Ponyville Park. I looked around, realizing that I could not see past a circle about twenty feet in diameter, for beyond that lay a thick, blanket like fog. I assumed this was tied to my own power and memory. The area I could see however, was a nearly perfect reproduction of the little pond and the tree that I and RD would hang out beside on summer days. I could almost feel the sun warming my back as well.

“Well done, Fyren.”

I jumped a bit and spun, finding Luna standing on the opposite side of the clearing, next to the pond. “It’s small, but fairly detailed. This sort of construct is difficult for someone with so little experience, usually.”

“Really? Does that mean I’m a natural, or something?”

She chuckled. “Hardly, it simply means you are receiving a boon due to our connection. Although, if you want to talk about natural. . . . “ With a quirked eyebrow, she ran her eyes over me, and I looked down, realizing I was completely nude. I hastily covered mini-me with both hands, feeling him twitching a bit in response to the Princess’ gaze.

No! Bad dick! Royalty not for you!

At her laughter, I looked up and blushed all the harder. She waved a hoof at me. “Oh, Fyren, you’re fine. Truly. No pony wears clothing all the time, and it’s not considered a taboo. And if you think it’s free now days, a thousand years ago it was even more so. And, you must remember, that sometimes still feels like yesterday, to me.”

I blush harder and smile, nodding. “Well, thanks for that, Princess, but I still feel a bit uncomfortable. Uhh. . . .”

“If you wish to have clothing, then make yourself some.”

“Whut?”

She laughed again and shook her head. “Fyren, you are a lucid dreamer, and this is your Dreamscape. In here, you are fully in control of everything. Anything you can imagine, you can make real.”

I blinked, and looked down at myself. I closed my eyes for a moment, concentrating, and felt soft cloth around my waist. Opening my eyes, I found myself wearing the black kilt that Rarity had made for me, back when I first arrived in Equestria. “Whoa. That is . . . freakin’ AWESOME!”

She chuckled and nodded. “Indeed. And, I encourage you to experiment with these powers. As our quest will take us through the Dreamrealms, they could prove invaluable.”

I nodded, rubbing my chin in thought as she turned, looking into the pond.

“It has been a long time since last I faced an adversary like this, Fyren. He is powerful in his Dreaming, and I wonder if he could have gained this level of mastery on his own. If there is something more going on here, some dark power or cunning plan behind his abilities and his actions, we must find out, no matter the cost. Right now, he threatens Equestria’s best weapon of defense against the darkness, the very Elements of Harmony themselves. If he is trying to harm them, or subvert them, he may mean to do more. Perhaps even to conquer the kingdom! Even if his vision is not so grandiose, he cannot be allowed to persist in his strange, nightmarish escapades. Such an abuse of the powers of the lucid dreamer is the height of dishonour, and must be punished with all due-”

There was a giggle which interrupted her, and she turned around, blinking.

I was sitting on my back on an amazingly comfortable sofa, being fed savory butter rolls and Zingers by Aloe and Lotus, while AJ and RD were cuddling in front of me. Of course, it wasn’t really them, just my imaginary construct of them. I pointed my finger at them, grinning from ear to ear like an idiot (which I was) and uttered a command.

“Now . . . kiss!”

“Fyren.”

I glanced up, and saw Luna staring at me with a blank look on her face, while the constructs in front of me began to make out loudly, their mouths making wet slurping, popping noises. I cleared my throat and glanced around. “Um. . . Right. . . Abuse of power, and all that. . . . stuff. . . “

She sighed, and with a flicker of her horn, banished all of my constructs, leaving me lying in the dirt where the sofa had once sat. Even the flavour of the rolls had gone from my mouth. It was at that moment, thinking about how much effort it had taken me to conjure all of that, here in my own demense within the Dreamrealms, and she, an outsider to it, had simply made it all cease to exist, without a second thought or a drop of sweat, that I realized how scary Luna had the potential to be.

Celestia was a solar goddess. I had no doubt in my mind that she could cook the entire world in the sun’s flame if she so desired. Luna. . . Luna was just as powerful, but hers was a much subtler power. The power of dreams and shadows.

I rose from the ground as she stood before me, face frozen in a mien of displeasure, wings flared out in a threatening, dominating posture. I knelt before her and bowed my head. “My apologies, Your Highness. I swear to you, I will take this seriously from now on. Plenty of time for fun later.”

She stared down at me for a moment, and then nodded, once. Her wings slowly folded back, and then, surprisingly, she smirked softly, shaking her head. “They would make a cute couple, wouldn’t they?” She said, locking eyes with me, and I smiled sheepishly and hung my head.

“Now, back to work. As we are hunting one of your own kind, I will let you take the lead. However, don’t forget who is in charge, Sir Knight.”

At her words, I felt my chest swell. In a flash, I was standing beside her, no longer wearing my kilt, but instead a pair of trousers and a tunic, over which was a surcoat divided between red and blue squares, and emblazoned on the front was an open book, overlaying a pair of crossed swords and a golden annulet, a ring of fidelity. It was basically the cutie mark I had made up for my OC, a long time ago.

I gripped the hilt of a short arming sword on my left hip, over which was slung the small round disk of a buckler and, bowing my head and placing my right hand over my heart, I swore and oath. “As you wish, My Princess.” I said.

I had always wanted to be a knight.

As I should have suspected, Luna had taken my oath with all due seriousness. For her, the age of Chivalric knights and high valour was no long gone memory, but only yesterday.

So, after her acceptance of my fealty, I stood and looked around, biting my lip. “So. . . I’m in the lead, huh?” She nodded, and I reciprocated, looking around in thought, and this time not in an attempt to come up with something lewd to create.

“Who was the last one to have a nightmare?” I asked, figuring that was our best bet for a lead.

“Lyra Heartstrings was visited, earlier tonight, before I came and found you. That was the dream that I lost his trail in.”

“Lyra? Hm. Do you think she’d still be dreaming?”

Luna nodded. “Tis likely, Fyren. I left her in better spirits, and a happier dream. I only hope he did not dare to return after my departure.”

“Can you not trace him?”

“No. It vexes me most direly. As I said, he appears to be beyond the skills of a normal mortal dreamer. Even a lucid dreamer should not so easily lose me in the Dreamrealms.”

I frowned thoughtfully, and nodded. “Alright, then. To Lyra’s dream! Um. . . I might need a little help, getting started, though.” I say, smiling weakly. She returns my smile with one full of confidence.

“Of course, Sir Fyren. Make yourself comfortable, and meditate in the same way you used to get here.” She said, settling herself on the ground, and I did the same, shifting my sword aside as I sat cross legged before her. I let my eyes drift shut, focusing on my breathing. In, out. . . in, out. . . in. . . out. . . . . . . in. . . . . . . . . out. . . . . . . . . . .

”Good, Fyren. Now. . . . Picture Lyra, in as much detail as you can. . . . . Picture her, and focus upon her image.”

Obeying without thought, I saw her in my mind’s eye, her minty green coat, and lighter, wintergreen mane and tail. Her big golden eyes smiling at me in awestruck wonder, and the little gold lyre on her flanks. It was the way she looked the first time we met. I had not spent much time around her, mostly due to her insatiable curiosity, and odd obsession with my hands. . . .

It made me feel a bit bad, though. She always seemed like a nice enough pony, and probably a good friend to those she cared for. It was just hard to spend time around her when all she wanted to do was touch my hands and talk about how humans sat.

With her image in my head, firm and concrete, I felt something shift, and, without being told to, I opened my eyes. Before me lay a door, green and with an image of lyres painted on it’s face, a small, round window looking out onto nothing on the other side.

Sensing movement, I glanced to my left and saw Luna step up beside me. She gave me an encouraging smile and a nod, and I smiled back, before turning to the door. There was no telling at this moment what might lie on the other side, and I must be ready. Settling my sword on my hip, I walked up and, once again feeling it was the right thing to do, lifted my hand and knocked, softly.

Upon receiving no answer, I glanced back at Luna, seeing her smile. “Not all are lucid dreamers, Sir Fyren, and even fewer are Dreamwalkers. Lyra will not be aware enough to answer your knock, I believe. We should simply enter. It is alright, she is unlikely to even know we are there, unless we make our presence known, first.”

Nodding, I bit my lip, turning back to the door. Reaching out, I gripped the knob, gave it a slow turn until the latch clicked softly, and then I pushed the door open, revealing once more a gaping darkness. Luna walked through without hesitation, and, taking a breath, I followed her, deep into the unknown.

It seemed that we only walked sideways down a vertically horizontal hall for a few seconds, and then we stepped out of a doorway that, on the way out, seemed identical to that which we came through. I even heard the door swing shut behind us, however upon turning, I discovered nothing but a clock ticking away on a low mantle above a crackling fireplace.

Turning back to our present location, my eyes surveyed my surroundings, looking for every little nuance of evidence that there might be, hidden about the area, which might lead us to an inevitable, and no doubt awesome showdown with our nemesis.

What I found was a very, very ordinary looking living room, by Equestrian standards. It featured a sofa, a couple of chairs, all arrayed before the fireplace, and therefore us. Sitting on the sofa was the minty green unicorn who, upon my princess’ orders, had filled my minds eye but a moment before.

“Oh, yes. . . You’re so . . . so handsome! So strong, and dextrous! And you know alll the right spots!” Her words were spoken in a breathy moan that made it seem she might be seconds away from orgasm. Surely, you might think, she was being made sweet love to by some dashing rogue of a stallion, or perhaps she was dreaming of her dearest friend, BonBon. Yes, that must surely be it!

But, no, you forget who you’re dealing with. No, in Lyra’s dream, at present, she was being massaged by a disembodied, larger than life floating human hand.

Because of course she was.

I will admit, the sight, and the sounds the mare was making, were somehow oddly arousing, and I had to fight to keep my budding excitement from being visibly noticeable. Clearing my throat, and I took a step forward. “Uh, Lyra?”

She moaned softly, stretching under the continued ministrations of the hand, and I tugged at my collar, licking a tooth in thought, before shifting my feet nervously and glancing back at Luna. The princess simply smiled slightly and lifted and eyebrow, looking between myself and the unicorn before us.

I gulped and turned back to the sight, biting my lip. Then, clearing my throat once more, I stood up to my full height. “Lyra Heartstrings.” I said, in a louder, firmer tone of voice, in some attempt to gain control of the situation. This time Lyra noticed. And that might not have been such a good thing.

She blinked and looked about, her golden gaze falling upon me. She froze for a second, her eyes widening, mouth opening, before it curved into a manic grin. In a flash, the disembodied hand disappeared, and she had leaped from the sofa, coming to a halt in front of me, standing on her hind legs, her face about level with my chin.

“Fyren! Ohhh! You’re back! FYREN!” She exclaimed, grinning like an idiot, then, while I was attempting to formulate a response appropriate to the gravitas of the situation, she leaped upon me, bowling me over onto my back. She pinned me to the floor, and her mouth found mine, her tongue sliding into it without a second’s hesitation.

Lyra practically ate my face for several long moments, before coming up for air, and leaving me a tousled, mind-fucked mess on the floor. “Whaaa?”

Luna’s muffled snickering brought me back to myself enough to glance up at here, where she stood nearby.

She smirked down at me. “The waking mind is oft beleaguered by inhibitions and fears, societal constraints. ‘What would my neighbours think? Or the pony at the shop?’ The sleeping mind, on the other hoof. . . . “ She glanced at Lyra, and I followed her gaze, just then realizing what I was feeling. The unicorn had one of my hands between her hooves and was sucking on the middle and ring fingers, in a very. very sexual manner. There was no hiding my reaction at this point, and I sat up uncomfortably, looking at Luna with a blush.

She simply smiled. “There is nothing wrong with enjoying it, my knight. However, we are here on business, not pleasure, and it would probably be best to snap her out of it.”

“Happily.” I said, grinning like a loon, before glancing down at the lust maddened mare who was still nomming, quite adorably I might add, on my digits. “How?!” I asked, looking up at my princess with panic in my face. Luna simply giggled.

“How indeed, my knight? What do you think?”

I bit my lip, and glanced down at Lyra again, thinking.

Finally, after wracking my brain for some time, I had the thought to simply tell her she was dreaming and that we needed to talk.

It takes a bit, but sometimes I’m almost clever.

Not smart, just clever.

Don’t judge me.

Anyway. . . .

“Lyra!” I snapped, and she stopped her oral ministration of my fingers and rolled her big gold eyes up to look at me.

“You’re dreaming.” I said, narrowing my eyes. She sat for a long second, blinking at me, then slowly popped my fingers out of her mouth.

“Yeah, I kinda figured. . . . Was nice, though. Guess I’m about to wake up, huh?”

“Uh, no. Not at all. Actually, we need to talk.”

“Uh. . . What? I mean, usually when my dreams start telling me their dreams, it means I’m about to wake up. Wait, is this some weird, like, intervention thing by my subconscious? Is it about my hand fetish? Look, I don’t care what everypony thinks, I can’t help it!”

“No, no! Lyra, calm down! This isn’t your subconscious! It’s me, Lyra. It’s Fyren!”

She paused, blinking at me again slowly. “Um. . . Right. . . How?”

I blinked back at her, opening my mouth and kind of blanked on how, exactly, I was supposed to explain the whole ‘reality hopping dream magic’ thing, when there was the soft sound of somepony clearing her throat, and Luna’s presence returned to my knowledge.

Lyra turned, laid her eyes on the princess, and they promptly went quite wide. “Oh! That’s how!” She exclaimed, then dropped into a low bow, blushing quite furiously as it all suddenly sunk in on her that not only had she actually been lavishing my fingers with her mouth like Linda Lovelace at a sausage stand, but she had been doing so in front of the princess of the night.

I’d be blushing too, if . . . oh, alright, I was blushing. A lot.

I mean, come on! I’m on a super awesome mission tasked to me by none other than Best Princess herself, only to find myself in the dream of a human obsessed pony who proceeded to fellate my freaking hand! Of COURSE I was blushing! But I would maintain my dignity.

“Fyren?” Luna asked, casually.

I gritted my teeth.

Maintain. Dignity.

“Yes, Princess?”

“I don’t mean to be rude. . . “

I exhaled sharply through my nose.

Dignity!

“. . . but I believe that you’re, how do the foals say it, these days. . . Ah, yes. ‘Popping a tent’.”

I glanced down at the obvious bulge in my trousers, and ground my teeth. “It’s ‘pitching a tent’, and yes. Yes, I am, thank you for noticing.”

Stupid dignity.

“No problem!” She said, and I could not decide whether she was honestly oblivious to my situation, or was gleefully trolling me.

“Wait a second!” I frowned, glancing sideways at her. “Most ponies don’t wear pants. How the hay is ‘pitching a tent’ a saying in Equestria?!”

In response, Luna simply shrugged. “How can a human be ‘hungry as a horse’? Who really knows the answers to these questions. Best not to ponder them too hard. Leads one to a headache.”

I glared at this obtuse evasion of what I felt was a very poignant question, all things considered. However, my mental anguish was brought to halt by Lyra clearing her throat. Ah, right. Mission for Best Princess, of course.

I turned back around and cleared my throat, looking down at Lyra in the most dignified manner I could, and she grinned up at me, in the most friendly manner she could. It took a minute or so, but I was finally able to get my mind out of the strange, back-alley gutter it had found itself in somewhere in the process of the preceding conversation, and back on track to the task at hoof. Er, hand.

Nah, ‘hoof’ works quite well.

“Lyra, you might not be surprised to know that this is about your. . . visitation, earlier. The nightmare you had.”

She blinked, looking at me, before she nodded, her mouth twisting awkwardly. “I might’ve guessed, especially with the Princess being here. What do you want to know?”

I stared for a second, glancing over my shoulder at Luna, who nodded to me. I looked back at Lyra, cleared my throat again and shrugged. “Well, uhh . . . What . . . What happened, exactly?”

She quirked an eyebrow and lifted a hoof to tap at her chin. “Well. . . I was dreaming, a perfectly nice, ordinary dream. The same one I usually have. . . .”

It was a pretty typical dream, I suppose. Much like the one I was having earlier. I was receiving a wonderful massage from Hal.

Er. . . Hal?

Yeah, Hal the Hand.

. . . Right.

”*Snickers.*

Anyway, it was a pretty normal dream, when I started becoming aware of being . . . watched. At first, I tried to ignore it, but the more time went by, the more I became certain someone was watching us. And so I got up and went looking for who it might be. I admit, my first thought was it might have been you, Princess. Sorry.

There is no need to apologize, young one. It is terribly rare, for any but myself to appear in your dreams, after all.

That’s true, I guess. But, yeah. I went looking. And I found him. He was a human, I guess, although he looked nothing like you, Fyren. He was all in black and dark shadows, and had a bright red face with a big nose and a bushy, white mustache.

Really? Hmm.

Yeah. Um. . . Yeah, he . . . his hands had, like, claws, it seemed, and were dark. I couldn’t really tell what they looked like. Oh, and he had a sword! Like something from a Neighponese manga! I saw it somewhere in there, through all the shadows around him. When I noticed him, he moved towards me, but, I think he was a bit surprised.

What by?

I didn’t run or anything. It’s just a dream, and I kinda knew that, I guess? Mostly I was more curious than scared, and so I asked him who he was and what he was doing there. It really seemed to put him off for a minute, before he spoke to me.

What did he sound like? Did he have an accent?

Not . . . really? No. His voice was kind of . . . normal, actually. He even had a little stutter, for a minute. He said his name was Titan, and that he had come searching for a mate. I asked him what he meant, and he sort of went quiet for a minute, before muttering something or other about how he was having trouble getting the one he wanted, but that he wasn’t going to stop.

Did he say which one he wanted?

No, and when I asked why he was in my dream, he just stared at me and was really quiet for a bit, before he changed the subject. He asked me if I’d like to see his hands, but they were kinda creepy and I . . . I kinda told him, so. That must’ve ticked him off, because that’s when he came after me.

I assume that wasn’t long before I arrived.

No, princess. You showed up just a few minutes later, when I was running down that were endless staircase.

I looked at Luna, cocking an eyebrow, and she made a face. “It was a construct he had created. He was coming down the stairs one step at a time behind her, while letting her only be able to get a little farther away. Toying with her. It was. . . disturbing, to see somecreature using the powers of a Lucid Dreamer in that way.”

Lyra snorted. “You think you were disturbed?! You should have been me! It was freakin’ terrifying!”

While Luna apologized, both for her statement and for not arriving to Lyra’s dream sooner, I drifted away in thought. A human, wreathed in shadow, carrying a katana and wearing what sounded very much like a Japanese kabuki mask. That’s what was invading pony’s dreams? The appearance, coupled with Lyra’s description of a normal voice, a stutter, a slightly over the top sense of melodrama, and an apparent sadistic streak, made me wonder. . . .

Were we dealing with a psychopath? . . . or an edgelord wannabe?

“Fyren?”

I turned and saw Luna staring at me. I had been off in the middle of my own world for a bit, it seemed. Lyra had apparently forgotten about us, for the most part, and was in the midst of receiving another patented Hal-Massage. Luna cocked an eyebrow at me. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking . . . I’m not sure yet. If we only had something more to go on! I just don’t know-”

It was that moment that Luna shot straight up, her eyes going wide, and he mouth opening. “Oh! I . . . Somepony’s having a nightmare! A bad one!”

I blinked, narrowing my eyes at her. “That’d be awfully convenient.”

She twisted her mouth. “Yes. I can’t simply ignore it, though!”

I shook my head. “I wouldn’t even dream of suggesting it! However, I suggest a modicum of caution. He’s been keeping you from knowing when most of them are having nightmares, right?”

SHe nodded her head, and I ground my teeth. “So why not now?”

“Could he simply be getting sloppy?” She asked, while she effortlessly transported us out of Lyra’s dream and into the interspace of the Ether, to her hall of floating doors.

I remained silent, nodding to her to take the lead. It was possible, of course. Most Psychopaths do get sloppy eventually, due to their own tendency to think they’re superior to everyone and that nothing can stop them. Still, I felt like I was missing something. Something important.

In most of the Detective stories I liked to read, when the main character felt like that, it rarely boded well. . . .

The door that Luna led us to was a light blue in colour, it’s face painted with a crescent shaped band of stars, overlain with a star tipped wand. I knew the cutie mark, and glanced at Luna for a moment, before she nodded and opened the door with her magic.

I drew my sword with a dull scraping sound of steel on wood, readying the buckler in my left hand, and stepped forward, through the door, once again feeling that odd, but increasingly familiar sensation of falling in multiple directions at once.

When I regained my balance, we were standing in a field which was cordoned off with rope, facing a large, magnificently fashioned stage, over which hung a giant billboard featuring the face of a certain blue unicorn. I looked around quickly, getting my bearings, only to have my attention snapped towards the right end of the stage by a voice. While it was one I knew tended towards being shrill and annoying anyway, panic was turning it to ear aching levels.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is most concerned right now!!!” Trixie appeared on stage, backing away from something that was hidden behind the curtain. “What do you want?! Help! Starlight?! HELP!!!”

Trixie staggered back a few more steps before she tripped and fell hard on her buttocks, raising her forehooves protectively in front of her. And then, with a growing mass of shadows at the end of the stage, I heard his voice for the first time.

”You are not the one I want, but she’s proving . . . resilient to my wiles . . . somehow.”

Turned out, Lyra was right. In spite of his attempt to make himself sound impressive and grandiose with what AJ would probably describe as “fancy talk”, nothing could keep this . . . Titan’s voice from sounding amazingly mundane. Like he had just walked off the street of some mid-western town somewhere in the U.S. Honestly, it made his attempt at grandeur sound like just that: An attempt, and a weak one at that. The words just didn’t sound right coming out of his mouth.

At least, I assumed they were coming out of his mouth. As the shadows coalesced at the end of the stage, I got the first decent look at our villain, and cringed a little.

I wasn’t sure, before, but now. . .

My bits were on “Edgelord”.

Wreathed in shadows, his hands tipped in glimmering talons, he should have looked intimidating, but the way he moved, his mannerisms, made it all seem to forced. His gait lacked finesse or grace, instead seeming like a child throwing his legs out when he stepped, and he seemed like he was just trying too hard to be intimidating. It left me feeling a bit . . . disappointed. I had been expecting more. Some small part of me had even been hoping for more, if I was honest. Hoping to fight a real villain, not this . . . weeb wannabe.

I sighed straightening up and lowered my sword. “This . . . should be pretty easy.” I said, glancing aside at Luna, who looked at me with caution in her eyes.

“I agree that he is not as . . . intimidating as I thought he would be, but do not forget, he has shown great power in his Dreaming. Do not underestimate him, Fyren.”

I nodded, looking back at Titan and Trixie on stage. I could see why the ponies might be afraid of him. He was clearly threatening, and clearly enjoying it, and they were not used to such things, for the most part. I just could bring myself to feel any sense of fear, however. He just didn’t scare me. There was nothing there to be afraid of.

Maybe I should learn to listen to what Best Princess has to say.

Meanwhile, up on stage, ‘Titan’ was continuing to monologue.

”She has been proving most difficult . . . I don’t know how . . . but perhaps I just need to complete some challenge. And what better thing to do to impress her than delivering the head of her greatest rival?”

He followed this line with an oh, so cringey villain laugh.

. . . . Do . . . Do I really need to spell that out for you?

. . . . . . . . . Oh, alright, fine.

”Muahahahaha!!!”

Okay, that was the last straw. If anybody’s gonna be doing cringey, cliched shit around here, it’s me!

Trixie blinked. “You . . . You really think I’m her greatest- Wait, did you say my head?!”

I strode up on stage, exuding righteous fury, and stopped alongside the powder blue unicorn, and glanced over at her. “Don’t worry, toots, I’m here to save the day.” I said, in a very stupid accent.

“Fyren!” She exclaimed smiling, only to suddenly blush a deep scarlet. Upon remembering our last encounter with each other, I also turned a bit hot in the face, and under the collar.

”What?! Wh- who the hell are you?!”

I turned quickly back to my foe, lifting my sword into a longpoint guard, my little buckler moving up to cover my hand. “I’m the one who’s going to kick your ass up between your ears, if you don’t leave these ponies alone!”

He wavered where he stood for a second, before shaking his head, and gesturing. ”I did not call you here. Begone!” I felt a wave of something pass over me, a harsh, foul wind that tangled my hair and made my head spin. I felt it, a compulsion, not to leave, but to simply cease to be. But then it passed, and I was still standing there, blinking a little confusedly.

I got the sense that behind his mask, Titan was doing the same thing. And speaking of his mask. . . .

It was the only part of his ensemble that looked real. Old, worn, like an antique, the paint faded from what was once a brilliant, flaming red, to a dull pinkish hue, it’s long, phallic nose missing a small chip off of the end. It was a kabuki mask, but more specifically it depicted a Tengu, a Japanese mountain demon, often taking the form of a starling, and believed to be a symbol of bad luck.

The mask, honestly, seemed out of place with the rest of his tryhard outfit, and it made me wonder. . . .

However, Titan was speaking, and I had no time to think as he threw a tantrum at the end of the stage.

”How?! I should have made you be gone! This is my dream, I’m in control here! You are just a figment of my imagination!”

Luna stepped up beside me, on the opposite side as Trixie, and we glanced at each other. Just like that, it all made sense. His power, his ability to befuddle and confuse even the Princess herself.

I might be new to the whole Dreamrealms thing, but some things were just common sense. If you were in a dimension made up entirely of living beings’ imaginations, and everything you could think of was waiting to become real, then it made sense that the most powerful thing in that realm would be belief. The more strongly you believed in something, the more real it would be.

Titan believed that this was all his dream, and that he was in control of everything around him. As such, he was in control, but only to a certain extent. He could not force another being to do something against their will, unless they were weak of mind. . . or terrified. A frightened mind is a clouded mind, it’s will would be subverted by it’s instinct, which would mean he could take control of the dream.

So far, he seemed to have been lucky, being frightening enough to the ponies that he was able to take over their dreams and turn them to a nightmare. His comments to Trixie, as well, made it clear, finally, what his goal was. He was trying to impress Twilight, or other make her notice him. He was a fucking male yandere trying to make Twiggle-Senpai notice him, and was willing to do whatever it took, to do so.

He continued ranting, making rude gestures at us, and I calmly took a breath and spoke softly to Luna. “The mask. It doesn’t fit with his outfit. I think it’s real. I don’t know, but if I was to guess, I’d say it has something to do with his lucid dreaming abilities.”

She nodded. “I think you are right, Fyren. We must remove it from him. Any thoughts?”

“Yeah. . . I’ll distract him, while you snatch the mask.”

“How will you do the distracting?”

“I dunno. . . I figure I’ll start with shoving my sword up his ass. . . . Don’t take that the wrong way.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

I took a step forward, interrupting him mid-expletive. “Hey, wankstain! Come get some, if you think you’re hard enough!” I said, gesturing with my sword.

He stopped and glared at me (I assume), and then laughed. “You think to challenge me, the great Titan, with your puny western broadsword?!” He shifted, the shadows moving around him, revealing the hilt of the katana at his hip, his right hand closing around the grip of it. It was overly fancy, with gold and what looked like obsidian built into the guard and pommel. Nothing at all like what you would find on a real sword. “I have the power of Niponese Steel on my side!”

I cringed, snarling and muttering under my breath. “It’s an arming sword, not a broadsword, you uneducated twat.”

Wow, I was really yanking out the British-isms, wasn’t I? Not to mention earning my “Sword-snob” card, tenfold.

With a scream to shatter the ear drums, he sped forward towards me, his movements seeming the height of uncoordinated and untrained. I saw his blade beginning to leave the saya, saw the arc it would take, through towards my stomach. Problem being he wasn’t even within measure, his blow wasn’t going to hit anything but air. I could have jsut backed away and let it go, but that would do nothing for me. No, I wanted to catch him in a bind, take control of his blade and use that as a point to achieve victory.

I could see it now, even as I started moving my wrist. A twist of the wrist would bring my sword down to intercept his, stopping his attack and initiating the bind. A passing step and a quick knock from my buckler to his hands would lock his weapon in place, and leave me open to bring my own blade around and strike to the upper openings of his head or chest.

It was perfect. I couldn’t ask for a better scenario.

Except I forgot about his belief, and how much more important that was here. How it could trump reality and physics.

I felt nothing, no sharp strike of steel on steel, no pressure or resistance. I simply felt the air whipped across my legs from his blade passing in front of me, and glanced down, eyes widening when I saw half of my sword’s blade falling to the floor of the stage, turning to black smoke and disappearing before it even made contact, along with the bit in my hand.

“Wha-?!” I felt more than saw his blade whip around, up above his head, and flinched back, lifting my buckler up to try and stop it’s downward arch.

No resistance again, followed by a burning sensation across my face and chest, and my vision disappearing in a burst of stars and a stab of pain that felt like it was going all the way through my skull.

I staggered back, blinking my vision clear and looked down to see a deep, deep gash across my chest. My vision still hadn’t returned in my left eye, and I felt it starting swell shut.

Oh, Goddess. . . . He had just blinded me. . . Maybe even killed me . . . .

Why?

Oh . . . .

I fell backwards, landing hard on my ass on the wood floor, glancing up even as Trix and Luna both blasted him with their horns, and he screamed again, whirling and slashed the air, cutting it open and stepping through the gash in reality, which closed up behind him.

My vision began to dim, and fade around the edges as I slumped backwards on to the hard wooden stage, feeling my blood pooling around me.

The last thing I saw before it went black was Luna’s face above me, and her mouth forming words. Something about it just being a dream. . . .

Just a dream. . . .

Just. . . .

A. . . .

. . . . . . . . . . .

I was floating softly through the dark, surrounded by a blissful silence and lack of . . . anything. I had some vague memories of pain, of something bad happening, but none of that mattered here, wherever ‘here’ was.

Actually, that was a good question. Maybe I should open my eyes to find out.

When I did so, I found myself in a very familiar plain of white nothingness. This was the Ether that Pinkie had taken me to, after saving me from Eris’ little ‘game’. I looked around, trying to see if there was anything I could use to locate myself, but there was nothing. Everything was the same blank, white nothingness it had been the first time I was here.

Then, I heard it. Softly, in the distance, voices talking. I wasn’t sure what direction it was coming from, but it was better than just mindlessly floating, so I began moving, trying to tell if they were closer or farther. There was nothing there, though, to give them any depth, and I could not tell.

I wasn’t sure when, but somewhere along the line I turned a corner, even though I could not see any walls, and found myself in a very familiar looking space. The old futon mat, the computer desk, the rack of training swords. I was . . . in my apartment, back on Earth Prime.

I would have thought that I had woken back up again, except for one small, teeny little issue.

I was standing in the middle of the room, looking back at myself. It wasn’t a mirror, it was me, as I was back on EP. And standing beside this . . . doppleganger, was . . . an alicorn?! And not any of the princesses that I recognized, either. It was almost like. . . .

“Oh, gods!” I exclaimed, blanching. “An Alicorn OC?! I’ve become cancer, it is true!”

Myself looked over at me and shook my head. “Oh, please, like this is the worst thing we’ve ever done.”

“But . . . But this is just . . . NO!”

“What’s wrong with it?! She’s my muse! Our muse. . . Whatever, point is, she’s supposed to be OP and Cancerous!”

The alicorn in question cleared her throat and looked between us. “Boys, I’d rather you not talk about me like I’m not here, thank you very much.”

I shook my head. Uh, I mean, me, not the other me. You get it.

“What the fuck is even going ON HERE?!” I snapped, feeling like my eyes were probably the size of dinner plates.

The Alicorn cocked an eyebrow, and glanced at the other me, who shrugged. “He’s here, might as well tell him.”

“Oh, alright, fine! Simply put, you’re not who you think you are. You are the character in this one’s story.”

I blinked slowly, and shook my head. “What, but . . . But that doesn’t make sense! I’m the one who was writing a story, and then it became . . . real. . . .”

She nodded slowly. “Exactly. Seems a bit obvious, once you think about it, don’t it?”

Her voice was . . . interesting. I’m sure most of the ponies would have pegged her being from Trottingham, but to me, she sounded . . . more real, than that, like she was actually British.

A snarky little shit, too.

“So . . .Wait. . . “ I rubbed my temples in confusion. “I . . . I’m the real world version of a character in a story that I was writing, but I’m actually the character in a story that this version of me is writing?”

She wiggled her eyebrows. “Welcome to the Multiverse, baby!”

The other me smirked. “Some grade A Inception level bullshit, going on here.”

I felt my heart starting to sink as something began to dawn on me. “So, then. . . That means that none of it is real.”

The Alicorn lifted an eyebrow. “Well, I wouldn’t say that. Basically, his writing of the story has created an alternate universe where you really exist, and all of the things that have happened to you really happened. Like I said, welcome to the multiverse.”

“But, then . . . If everything that happens to me, and everything I do, is all decided by what he chooses to write, then doesn’t that mean that I have no free will? What’s even the point of life, then?!”

She shook her head, waving her hooves at me. “No, no, not at all! You, and all of the ponies, are fully fleshed out, three dimensional characters, with likes and dislikes, and personalities all your own. In a way, you write the story, not him, because it wouldn’t work for him to write a story where any of you were doing things that was Out Of Character, unless of course he wants the fans to be breathing down his neck.”

I blinked, rubbing my eyes and shaking my head. “That . . . That actually makes sense, in a frightening kind of way.”

“I know, right? It’s all to do with the Fourth, and such.”

I paused, glancing at her. “The ‘Fourth’?”

“Yep.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Why does that sound familiar?”

She shook her head, looking a tad too innocent. “No idea what you’re talkin’ about! Hey, Fyren, what’s on the docket?!” She asked, quickly, looking at the other me, who snickered behind his hand, before turning to his computer.

“Lessee. . . This one needs to wake up and get back to work. That creepy douchebag isn’t gonna beat himself! Also, thanks, by the way, Muse. This is a LOT better than what I had in mind.”

“I know.” She turned to me and snorted, gesturing at my doppleganger with a hoof. “You know what this one did? The same damn thing that’s undermined so many other stories he’s attempted to write in the past. He took this arc, and overthought it and preplanned it until he knew literally everything that was going to happen from start to finish. . . which jsut completely kills the bloody fun, don’t it?!” SHe shook her head, rolling her eyes. “But, this time, I wasn’t having none of it! I stepped in and slapped him stupid and gave him a firm talking to. Basically, he kept wondering why I’d go and disappear on him, and I told him why: I said ‘If you’re going to plan everything out like this, what the fuck is even the point of my being here?’ The stupid little git.”

“I’m right here, ya know?” The other me said, looking up from his typing. I was beginning to feel an odd sensation, a sort of tugging feeling that was growing stronger the more he wrote, and it occurred to me that it was his writing, pulling me towards the plotline.

“Wait, wait! You have to help me! YOu can control what’s happening! Help me beat Titan!”

Muse and my double looked over at me, both of them with a raised eyebrow. The other me simply laughed and went back to writing, while Muse shook her head and spoke.

“Silly boy, we can’t do that! Think of the continuity errors! Plus it would just be lazy writing, and I won’t bloody have that in my story!” She said, tutting. “No, we can’t help you, but you don’t need our help. You’ve already got everything you need to beat him. Now, time for you to wake up! Don’t worry, I don’t think you’ve seen the last of us.” She said with a wink, and waved goodbye as the tugging turned into a sharp pull that sent me spiraling backwards, through the blank white nothing of the Ether once more, then into a field of stars where I shattered, falling in every direction at once, and tumbled through a door, where I fell horizontally up, before landing face down in a puffy marshmallow.

The marshmallow wrapped itself around me, ingested me, and spit me out, face up now, with my head resting on a soft, soft pillow, on a soft, soft bed, staring up at a very, very familiar crystalline ceiling. I blinked, feeling the skin around my left eye pull, and realized that I couldn’t open it, and it hurt to try. I groaned softly, feeling a deep soreness in my chest as I moved, trying to prop myself up.

“Fyren!” Said a familiar voice to my right, one which seemed to fit with the crystal room I found myself in. Glancing over stiffly, I laid eyes on the one and only Twilight Sparkle, in the fur. Literally. In my previous sojourn into Equestria, due to it being my story, everything had looked, smelled and felt perfect. Nothing out of place, nothing messy or unpleasant looking.

Here and now, Twilight had apparently not slept in a while, and she looked like she hadn’t. Her fur was mussed, her mane was tied in knots and she had deep bags under her eyes. She moved forward and placed a hoof on my arm, and I felt it, like I never had before. It felt, for the first time, really, truly real.

It was the best thing I had ever felt, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Whether this was a story written by some other version of myself or not, didn’t matter. Like Muse had said; welcome to the multiverse. A place where anything was possible, and everything was real, somewhere.

And this . . . This was real.

I raised my arm, putting my hand on the side of her face, marveling at the touch of her fur against my skin, and smiled at her. “Hi, Twiggles.” I said, with a stupid grin on my face, and she blinked.

“’Twiggles’? What kind of nickname is that?”

“Oh, well . . . er. . . “ I blanked on how to explain to her what YouTube was, and how there was this one drunken sot on there who loved their TV show and made some very rude, crude and socially unacceptable videos about them, and who liked to call her that.

Oh, and how to explain the whole ‘You’re in a TV show’, thing.

Probably better to not get into that.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it. What happened? I feel like I got run over by a steamroller.”

She frowned in concern. “It was him, that Titan. Princess Luna said he attacked you in the Dreamrealms. Had it been in the real world, it would have been lethal, but evidently it’s harder to die, in the Dreamrealms, so it just knocked you out. She grabbed you and brought you with her out of Trixie’s dream, which is how you wound up here.”

I lay there, thoughts running through my addled brain for a minute, before I blinked and looked at her. “Wait a minute. . . That’s a thing?! I can travel between realities using the Dreamrealms?!”

She shrugged. “I suppose. I admit, I’m not much of an expert on them. There hasn’t been a lot written about them, as they’re not the easiest plane of existence to gain access to. Outside of when I and the girls helped the Princess battle the Tantabus, I have little experience with them. From what Luna told me about your adventures, you probably know more about them, than I do.”

A light sparked in her tired eyes, and I knew that look, even as she leaned forward excitedly and started rattling off questions. “What’s it like to travel between dreams? To make whatever you can imagine?! I mean, I did a little of that, when we fought the Tantabus, but I didn’t really have time to study it. What is it like, to be an excitivit somnium?!”

I held up a hand in her face. “Twiggles! Calm down! I would gladly fill you in on what I know, but I’m very tired, very sore, my head hurts, I’m hungry and, most importantly, I need to talk to Princess Luna, if she’s here. Titan’s not done yet, I’m sure, and we need to be ready to face him, when he comes back.”

She blinked, leaning back away from me, and a blush spread over her face, making her look irresistibly cute. “Oh, right, of course. I’m sorry, Fyren, that was very rude of me. Luna is here, in the castle, but she’s asleep, I think. The fight with Titan must’ve taken a lot of her. He must be a truly powerful foe.”

“Not really, he’s a just a delusional edgelord.”

“What?”

“Nothing, doesn’t matter. Look, I’m gonna talk to Luna, so . . . “

“But, she’s asleep.”

I stared at her for a long, unblinking second, and her eyes went wide. “Oohhhhh!”

A second later, the question I was expecting came. “Can I watch?!”

I sighed, laughing, and then looked at her. “Yes, Twi, you can watch, although I’m going to warn you: I’m pretty sure it’s not terribly exciting, out here in the waking world.”

She gave an excited squee and sat back, eyes attentive. “That’s fine! Lots of things don’t look terribly exciting on the surface. The excitement is in the discoveries that lay waiting in the fine details!”

I chuckled, shaking my head as the nerdhorse fell strongly into her element, summoning a roll of parchment and a quill and ink to write notes with.

I lay back in the bed, letting my eyes drift shut as I focused on my breathing. My meditation worked quickly, tapping once more into the power that Luna had gifted me, and I felt myself sliding, spinning and fragmenting once more, as I entered the Dreamscape.

I found Luna seated under the tree on her little island in the lake, and, with a thought, found myself sitting next to her. Her eyes were closed, her body apparently in repose, but I could see the look of deep, thoughtful contemplation on her face. I wondered if I should intrude, or wait until she noticed me. On the one hoof, it would be exceedingly rude of me, but on the other-

“Hello, Sir Fyren.”

“Gah!” I collapsed and clutched at my pounding heart, before shooting an icy look at the lunar princess, noticing a small, almost invisible smile on her mouth. “Don’t do that! You could give a guy a heart attack!”

She bowed her head, a move which I felt was most likely used to mask a larger smile, rather than out of true contrition. “I apologize, Fyren, I did not mean to startle you. I assume you have awoken, and come here looking for me?”

I nodded slowly, shaking myself before sitting beside her once more. “Yes. I seem to be relatively okay, in the waking world. Only a black eye and a bruised chest.”

“Yes. Because of the separation between the Dreamrealms and the waking world, injuries that would prove lethal there, only cause relatively minor damage when done here. There is a limit to this, though, and part of that is tied to how strongly you believe that you cannot be hurt.” She glanced at me and frowned. “Take our foe, for example. The force of myself and Trixie’s magic would have been enough to potentially vaporize him, in the waking world, but in the Dreamrealms. . . It barely scratched him. Still, it seemed to surprise him enough that he fled.”

I ground my teeth, looking out over the calm expanse of the lake. “All because he believes that he is inside of his own dream, and in full control of everything that happens. How does that work, anyway?”

“I do not know. I think, however, that you were right in guessing that it has to do with his mask. What gave it away?”

“It just . . . didn’t fit with the rest of his costume. It all looks forced, like something from a comic book or anime series, over the top and edgy. The mask, though. . . it looks real, like an antique from Japan.”

“Japan?”

“My world’s version of Neighpon.”

“Ah. But, I thought your world was without magic. This mask certainly seems to belie that.”

“Yeah. I’ve always believed that magic exists in my world, but it’s . . . different, from the magic of Equestria. Less immediate and grandiose. Things like enchantments or curses, subtle, with long reaching effects.” I laid back, staring up at the perfection of the sky, the moon and stars shining down on us both. “I think the mask is what is giving him the power to control the Dreamscape, and to invade others dreams, across the barrier of the mutliverse. I’m guessing, however, that he only knows about the control part, which is why he thinks this is all just his own dream. No, not ‘thinks’. ’believes’.”

She nodded slowly, looking up at the moon above as well. “That makes sense. Belief is a powerful force in the Dreamrealms. If you believe in something, you can make it real in the Dreamscape. Just as he has.”

“I don’t get it though. He has to be doubting his belief, right? I mean, things keep happening that he has no control over. You chasing him, Twilight’s avoidance of him is clearly against his wishes, and then my appearance. . . . You’d think all of that would make him realize that there is more going on here than it seems, to him.”

“I do not know your kind well, Fyren, but if they are anything like ponies, then I’m sure that it can be quite difficult to shake someone out of their beliefs, even if those beliefs are untrue.”

I nodded, and we fell into silent contemplation for a time, before she spoke again.

“If we are to defeat Titan, then we must break his belief. This might have been even more difficult, if he believed in something that was true, and it will be no mean feat, as it is. However, the fact that his belief is founded upon a fundamental untruth, that all of this exists within his own dream, and that none but he have full control over it, should make things at least a little easier.”

I sat up, looking over at her. “You have a plan?”

“Of sorts. Think, Fyren: We need to rattle someone’s faith, break their belief, destroy their perception of reality. Is there nopony you can think of that might be suited to such a task.”

A slow smile crawled over my face at the thought.

“Pinkie Pie.”

“Did somepony say my name?!”

The cheerful voice caught us both slightly off guard, and we spun around to see the pink party pony standing a few yards away on the other side of the tree. She struck a low bow to the princess, then stood up and turned her gorgeous blue eyes to me.

She looked at me.

I looked at her.

In a heartbeat, she had sprung at me and I was holding her in my arms, and I felt like every single care, worry and problem that I had held in my heart and mind over the last several weeks simply drained away, flushed out by the warmth of the pony in my arms and the width of the grin on my face.

She leaned in and nuzzled my neck, softly, and murmured in my ear. “There’s that grin I wanted.” She then drew back and met my eyes again, smiling from ear to ear. “Welcome home, Fyren.”

I smiled and leaned in and kissed her softly, my lips pressed to hers, and for a long, silent moment, we were both lost in each other, the touch, taste and feeling of our bodies pressed together in this most passionate of ways.

Luna cleared her throat politely, and my eyes popped open, meeting Pinkie’s, and we broke a part, panting and blushing, turning to look at Luna, who had a wide, knowing smile on her face.

“While I hate to interrupt such a heartfelt reunion, it is important to remember that we do have a foe to vanquish.”

Pinkie cocked and eyebrow, and then stood up on her hind legs, back ramrod straight and snapped a hoof up in a salute to Luna. “You can count one me, Princess! I’ll kick the flanks of any of your foes! Pinkie Promise!”

Luna smiled and thanked the pink pony, before settling down to explain what was needed of her.

Turned out, Ponka knew about Titan, as he had apparently visited her dreams as well. Once. And had fled very, very quickly when she had turned his sadistic game of hide and seek around on him.

“. . . and he was trying to, like, slide between these bookshelves, and so I just reached up from behind him and grabbed him, and I was like ‘Little piggy!’ and then I yelled ‘Boo!’ in his face, and he ran off and jumped through a portal he opened up. It was hilarious, and so referential!”

Luna nodded slowly. “I see. Well, Pinkie, that’s good to hear, but I’m afraid if we’re to end his reign of nightmares, then we will need to do more than simply frighten him. We have to completely alter his perception of reality.”

“Oh, that’s no problem, Princess! I’m positutely amazing at that!”

“His belief is very, very strong, Pinkie. He will put up quite the struggle.”

While Pinkie tapped her chin in thought, I glanced at Luna. “How exactly are we going to keep him from running off?”

She smiled. “I have the Tantabus to think for that part of the plan. I will create a communal dream for all of the ponies he seems to show an interest in, thereby, hopefully, keeping him from jumping dreams, or at least making it more difficult, and easier to track him down if he does do so.”

It was then that Pinkie interjected herself back into the conversation. “And I know just what to do to help us out of this mess, but it’s going to require some backup, Princess.”

“Of course, Pinkie Pie. If there are any ponies you think can help, and they are willing. The more the merrier, in this case.”

“Thanks princess! Although, not all of them are ponies, per siesta.” She said, giving me a knowing look and winking.

“Ponka. . . “ I said, frowning.

“What?”

“One of them wouldn’t happen to be DIscord, would it?”

She thought for a second, and then nodded, smiling.

“Ponka! Last time I met him . . . her . . . him, he nearly killed me!”

“Well, yeah! He’s Discord, the lord of chaos! He’s quite well known for being a dick to people, on a regualr basis! BUT! All I have to do is let him know that this creep has been giving Fluttershy nightmares, and BOOM! We got ourselves our own, personal draconequus.”

I thought for a moment. I wasn’t at all thrilled with the idea of working with the draconequus, but if it would help stop Titan, then I would have to suck it up and deal. “Okay, then, Pinkie, if you’re sure.”

“I am, Fyrie! And, besides, it’s not like he’s the only one I’m gonna bring in on this.”

Luna looks curious. “Who else might you be bringing?”

Pinkie gave her best all knowing smirk, which was actually pretty effective, and tapped her own nose. “You’ll see! For now, I gotta go round them up, as well as some supplies!”

“Hold up, Ponks! Can you find my demense in the Dreamrealms? I’ll be waiting there. There’s something I need to do.”

“Well, of course I can, Fyrie! You and me, we’re connected! I can always find you, anytime, anywhere!”

“I see . . . ya know, if I didn’t love you so much, that would be really creepy.”

“Oh, don’t lie! Even with how much you love me, it’s still creepy, and we both know it! Toodles!”

With that she bounced around the tree and simply disappeared, leaving me feeling warm and fuzzy in my chest, while Luna was perplexedly shaking her head. “That pony confuses me to no end. A normal mortal, possessing such abilities, and having such fine control over them. . . it’s both impressive, and a little terrifying.”

“Yep. That’s my Ponka.”

She glanced aside at me and smiled. “Whatever you’ve done, Fyren, to earn that one’s love. . . don’t ever lose it. She is a valuable ally, but I think would make a truly unstoppable enemy.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“What was it you need to do?”

“Hm?”

“You told Pinkie that there was something you needed to do, in your demense. I feel it best to know before hoof what that something might be, if it effects our plan.”

“Oh, right! I actually need your help on that, before you go start preparing your own side of things.”

She tilted her head inquisitively, and I leaned forward, looking her in the eye.

“I need you to tell me everything about how constructs work in the Dreamrealms. And how to make one more powerful than I had before.”

Twilight slowly opened her eyes, shaking her head to clear it, and looked up, seeing Luna hovering in the middle of Ponyville’s town square, wrapped in a bubble of cyan magic, from which numerous small tendrils reached out, pulling ponies through portals and into this communal dream. Looking around, Twily saw AJ, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Fluttershy, as well as Derpy Hooves, Trixie and Lyra Heartstrings.

Luna’s voice came through, loud and clear for all of them, bringing their attention to the princess, where she hung in the air, looking at them with eyes that glowed a blinding white.

“My little ponies! You all know why you are here! You have all been plagued by the nightmares brought on by Titan. Tonight, we will stop him! Our friend, Fyren, has returned, and he and Pinkie Pie have a plan. Our part is simple; we must keep Titan here, in this shared dream, long enough for them to get here. We must weaken his belief that he can control this dream, we must make him doubt!”

She was cut off by a deep, heavy rumbling sound which split the air of the Dreamscape, and a feeling like the very fabric of reality was being disturbed. Luna’s eyes widened as some of the ponies glanced around nervously.

“He is here! Come, friends! United, we can defeat him! We must!”

Twilight spun as she heard a wicked cackling from across the square, and her eyes landed on the dreaded figure that had been plaguing her nightmares. However, beneath the fear, she felt something else, bubbling it’s way up to the surface. Anger, hot and spicy. Anger that this villain had kept her and her friends from sleep, had given them nightmares, terrified and abused them and enjoyed every second of it in some sick, sadistic way.

She locked her eyes on the ugly red visage of his mask, and felt a snarl curl her lips back from her teeth, even as she felt her friends, her family come up alongside her. Together they had defeated monsters and villains that would make this one look paltry. They could, and would best him, too.

Titan stopped, standing a dozen or so yards away, and glared at them.

“It’s time you stopped this, ponies! This is my dream! You are all mine to play with how I want!”

“No!” A voice snapped, and Twilight turned, seeing Derpy Hooves step forward. “This isn’t your dream! And we aren’t your toys! And if you don’t stop bothering us, we’re gonna have to wake you up!”

Titan stared for a long second, his body stiff and still, but then started laughing, deep and raucous from the belly, as though Derpy’s words had been the best joke ever. “Fools!” He snapped, glaring at them. “I say again, you. Are. Mine!”

With that, he reached out a hand, and Derpy was suddenly flying through the air. He caught her by the throat, leaning close to her and breathing in deeply, as though taking in the scent of the fear that was painfully obvious on her face.

“Hahaha. Smells like a muffin. . . . How fitti-unf!”

Titan was caught off guard as a cyan hoof smashed into his head, sending him reeling, his grip coming loose and Derpy dropped towards the ground. With a blur of motion, Rainbow caught her as she fell, landing gently and letting her loose as the other pegasus coughed and choked.

“You alright, Derpy?” Rainbow asked, and the grey mare nodded, then turned a wall eyed glare towards Titan, who was clutching the side of his head in pain.

“You . . . Tha- That hurt!” He said in shock, looking up at then, and Derpy narrowed her eyes, pointing one hoof at him.

“Get him!” She snapped, and Twilight found herself rushing forward with the others, yelling in denial of this monster’s right to treat them like objects, toys for his own amusement.

Applejack ducked the swipe of one of his clawed hands and spun, planting her rear hooves into his gut and sending him flying. Twilight intercepted his flight with her magic, halting his forward momentum long enough for Rainbow to fly up, perform a tight, fast spin and launch a bicycle kick into his back.

Titan slammed back to the earth, hard. He started clambering back up to his knees, shaking his head, and looked up only to come eye to eye with Fluttershy. Her eyes went wide, her pupils narrowing and gaze becoming hard. Titan staggered, his own eyes showing wide through his mask as he got locked in her Stare.

Then Lyra slammed into him shoulder first, and her horn lit with her magic, picking him up and throwing him through the air. Derpy intercepted him, catching him with her forehooves in midair and spinning with him, building momentum, and let him go to crash into the side of the Dreamscape Ponyville’s town hall, demolishing one of the pillars and sending it crashing to the ground in a cloud of dust.

Twilight blinked as she looked around at her friends, smiling slightly. That was . . . surprisingly easy. The thought alone made a frown come over her face. In fact, one might even say it was. . . .

With a creaking groan, the rubble of the town hall shifted and cascaded aside, revealing the figure of their adversary standing, dirt rolling off of his shadowy cloak as he glared at them, eyes burning with fury. His belief was still strong, fear translating into anger to help protect it, and as she watched, he drew the sword from under his cloak.

With a scream of fury, he leaped from the wreckage, and Twilight and her friends readied themselves. As he landed, Lyra and Fluttershy made a concerted effort to attack him from his side, but with a push of his hand, he blasted both of them away, leaving them in a pile on the ground as he swept his sword at Rainbow, who barely managed to dodge it.

Twilight leaped up into the air, taking wing and flying around him, blasting her magic at him in a hard, cold beam of lavender energy. He held up his sword, catching the blast on the blade, and with a flick of his wrists, cut her magic in half, the two beams separating, one digging a deep ditch in the earth, the other blowing out the front of the Dreamscape’s Sugarcube Corner.

Derpy landed on his back as Lyra and Flutters tried to pick themselves up. The grey pegasus wrapped her forehooves around his head, trying to pull him away from Twilight so her magic could hit him. He reached back and grabbed her by the wing, wrenching her off of him and throwing her aside. They all heard a sickening pop as the mailmare’s wing dislocated and she screamed.

“Derpy!” Rainbow yelled and, snarling in anger, dove at Titan, who took a two-handed grip on his sword and wheeled, sweeping the blade up in an arc.

“Dash, don’t!” Twilight screamed, knowing the warning would come too late.

The blade slashed the air, on a course for Dash’s head, even as the pegasus came screaming in, fury and hate in her eyes.

Twilight’s horn crackled with energy.

Rainbow felt her eyes windening as she realized the blade would catch her before she could hit him.

Titan’s eyes shone with vindictive fury and out of control ego.

. . . . . . .

In that moment, Rainbow Dash could see it, buried behind the anger in his eyes, behind the ego. She had a lot of practice, seeing behind her own eyes every morning in the mirror. She saw the fear, the insecurity that lay within him. The doubt, in himself and in his reality. His anger was a mask, hiding his weakness, so thickly layered on that even he didn’t realize it. They could win this. If they just pushed a little harder. But it seemed it was going to be too late for her.

There was a jingling, popping sound of displaced air and unicorn magic, and something ivory white and purple suddenly filled Rainbow’s vision, her descent slamming into a soft body and rolling aside, even as she heard a voice, so usually rich and cultured, cry out in true pain.

Twilight cancelled her spell at the last second, eyes going wide as Rarity suddenly appeared, having teleported into the air between Rainbow Dash and Titan’s sword. She had knocked Dash aside, and in the process taken the hit upon herself. The blade bit deeply into her barrel, just behind her left foreleg, but her momentum kept her going, slamming into Titan, who staggered back and turned, letting her drop to the ground, blood staining her white fur as she lay, unmoving in the dirt.

All of the friends froze, staring aghast at the scene, and even Titan seemed a bit shocked as he stepped back away from Rarity. It wasn’t until Princess Luna spoke that they all looked up.

“Friends! Remember, ‘tis only a dream! Rarity will be injured, but not as badly as it might appear!”

With that encouragement, and a new found determination in their hearts, the friends charged forward, teaming up on Titan again. He defended himself, but a blast from Twilight’s horn opened him up, and AJ bucked him hard in the chest, sending him flying back again.

The circle of ponies closed in around their fallen friend, and as the others faced Titan, Fluttershy knelt down beside the white unicorn, who’s eyes flickered and opened slightly.

“Is . . . Rainbow Dash . . . Is she . . . ?”

“Yes, Rarity, Dash is okay! You’ll be fine, too! Remember what Luna said, it’s only a dream!”

Rarity nodded slightly, but her eyes drifted shut, and, with a flicker and whirl of dark smoke, she disappeared.

“She has fallen unconscious and left the Dreamrealms. Do not worry, friends, it is probably for the best.” Luna said, a soft encouragement in her voice. Then, her eyes widened once again, even as sweat beaded on her forehead from the strain of holding the dream together.

“Look out!” Luna snapped, and Twilight and the others once more turned to face Titan who was glaring at them, and held out his hand. Smoke whirled and built around him, fanning out through the square and then separating into multiple pillars of inky black, which then formed themselves into human figures, all dressed in black outfits with black masks over their faces, each one carrying a sword, similar to Titan’s but with a straight blade and square guard.

With a combined, disconcerting hissing sound, the dozens of figures all moved forward, encircling the friends, and Luna spoke again. “His belief is still far too strong, if he has the power to make this many animate constructs! Be careful, friends!”

With a scream of rage, Titan gestured towards them, and the constructs rushed forward, all mirroring the sound that issued from his lips, and the friends turned to face their charge.

Applejack met three of them at once, ducking a swept blade and bucking the assailant into another, sending them both tumbling into each other, bursting into whirling black smoke before they hit the ground. The other grabbed her mane with his free hand, pulling back hard on her hair, trying to swing his sword at her. She turned in his grasp, growling, and halted his attack by hitting his wrist with one forehoof. The wrist broke with a snap, sending the sword flying, and AJ wrapped her other hoof around his arm, locking his elbow as she stepped in on her rear hooves, punching the construct in the face and chest repeatedly with her other hoof, before he exploded into a cloud of smoke and dissipated.

Lyra and Derpy were holding their own against a group of attackers, as Twilight swept down from on high, blasting several of them out of existence with her magic. However, she was stopped in her tracks as a series of small black pellets flew up into the air and exploded into smoke, obscuring her vision. She coughed, and then yelped as the attackers grabbed her tail and wing, pulling her out of the air. She looked up in fear as they brought their swords up, not having any time to react as they prepared to finish her off. However, they all hesitated, stopping suddenly in mid motion, and simply staring at her with blank, black eyes.

A cluster of round silver spheres rolled into the group, and exploded into another cloud of smoke, this one a light bluish grey in colour. Blinded again, Twilight could only hear the sound of muffled thumps, cracks and grunts. As the smoke cleared, she looked up and saw Trixie and Rainbow Dash standing amidst a group of falling attackers, who even then were dissipating into clouds of dream smoke.

“About time you joined in, Trixie!” Rainbow snapped as she helped Twilight up, and the snooty magician smirked.

“Trixie knows how to pick her battles, unlike some who like to just rush in, hoof first.” She said, looking pointedly at Rainbow Dash.

The argument between the two, and Twilight’s own pondering as to why her attackers had hesitated, were ended by a loud, pained scream from across the square. The three of them whirled, and Twilight felt her heart plummet as she saw Lyra drop to the ground, a deep cut along her flank. Her attacker swept his sword high and brought it down at her, but was stopped by Derpy, who barged into him shoulder first.

Derpy staggered to a halt over the musician, whose eyes fluttered before rolling back in her head. Her body dissipated into smoke, as she either fell unconscious or awoke. Either way, she was injured, but out of danger. That was what Twilight had to keep reminding herself, that it wasn’t as bad as-

“DERPY!” Rainbow screamed, and Twilight looked up in time to see the grey pegasus get grabbed by one of the constructs, who pushed his sword through her from behind. Two others slashed at her, leaving blood to spatter the ground and turn to smoke. Derpy gasped and shuddered, before turning to smoke almost immediately.

Twilight didn’t know what that meant, and not knowing was terrifying. The fact that it couldn’t be good only made matters worse. So, so much worse.

She looked around as the group of them, now only herself, AJ, Rainbow, Trixie and Fluttershy, all backed up into a tight circle. They had all done their best, taken out so many of the constructs. But it didn’t matter. Titan had been growing stronger, and as the circle of them retreated until they were right up against the bubble of Luna’s magic, they were completely surrounded by what looked like nearly a hundred of the contructs, with Titan standing on the raised front step of the town hall building, laughing at them.

“Fools! Did you really think you could beat me?! In my own dream?!” He laughed and pointed at them. “You will all die here! All of you! Or . . . “ He looked right at Twilight as she felt her heart stutter in her chest as a small sliver of fear overtook her.

“. . . . or, our dear Princess of Friendship can come with me, and agree to be mine!”

With a gesture of his hand, the constructs moved forward, tightening the circle.

“Your choice, Princess.” He said, nonchalantly.

Twilight felt her breathing catch. How could they beat him? He was so powerful, so strong in his belief that this was all just his own dream. How-

“Don’t listen Twilight.” Rainbow Dash said, voice firm and strong beside her. “I saw into this creep’s soul. He’s afraid. Afraid of us, and what we can do to him! We just gotta keep fighting!”

Twilight looked at Dash as the circle of constructs grew tighter still. “But how, Dash? There’s so many of these constructs, and Luna can’t hold this dream together forever. . . . We don’t stand a chance right now, and I can’t stand to see any more of you get hurt!”

“Maybe you won’t have to!” Trixie said, sharply. “Listen!”

Twilight and the others turned, ears swiveling, and listened closely. Even Titan went silent, glancing around in confusion as his constructs stopped their slow advance, awaiting their creator’s orders.

Somewhere, distantly, there was a sound, something drawn out, orchestral. . . music. A choir, it sounded like.

”Equestria!”

It was so distant, so hard to hear, but even as they caught it faintly, floating in on the breeze, there was a low rumble, and once more that feeling of reality stretching, warping to accommodate something that had not been there a moment before.

”Equestria!”

The choir sang once more, louder, now, closer and clearer as well. Rainbow looked around, finding the sound of the voices, the tone and pitch, the rise and drop of the word to be somehow familiar. Like something from a play she had seen, once. It wasn’t Henny of the Hills, no, this was from something more . . . adult, than that, with some more edgy, off colour humour about it. What was it? What . . . Oh. Oh, hay yes!

Just as it dawned on Rainbow that the song sounded like the theme to “Team Equestria”, a black comedy play Pinkie had taken her to see, once, there was a sound like paper tearing, and a glowing gateway opened inside the Dreamscape, up in the air. At that point, the music changed, a hardcore rock and roll riff kicking in as some sort of four wheeled, horseless cart which made a sound like an angry wood-chipper burst through it, packed to the gills with figures of all shapes and colours.

And the lyrics kicked up, too.

”Equestria, Buck yeah!
Here we come again, just to save the day, yeah!
Equestria, Buck Yeah!
Harmony is the only way, now!”

The buggy landed and skidded to a halt in the dirt of the town square, and a pink ball of madness leaped out, spinning through the air, before doing a half corckscrew and sticking the landing. Pinkie Pie stood up on her hind hooves, her fore hooves somehow clutching a pair of “weapons”, specifically a rolling pin in her right hoof, and a pie slicer attached to a long rope of what looked like strawberry licorice in her left. She had a bandanna tied around her head, keeping her mane out of her eyes, and those blue orbs were filled with righteous, and slightly insane looking vindication.

She started twirling the pie slicer on the end of it’s rope and grinned from ear to ear. “Breakers, on me!” She snapped in a commanding tone, and so the other occupants of the dune buggy jumped out and joined her.

The first two were simple enough, and pretty obvious. Cheese Sandwich jumped out to her left, shifting a toothpick in his mouth and pushing the brim of his stetson out of his eyes. “Feeling lucky, punks?” He asked in an overly dramatic voice.

On her right, landed Discord, dressed to the nines in his full costume of “Captain Wuzz” from his Ogres & Oubliettes campaign with Big Mac and Spike. “Ooohhh, this is so exciting!” He said, smiling while pulling back on the cord of his bow. “Hmm. Something missing, though. . . .AH!” He exclaimed, and when he snapped his fingers, Big Mac and Spike, also bedecked as their characters, both appeared beside him. The two were briefly disoriented, before taking in the situation before them, their own outfits and the presence of Discord, and then, with a look of steely determination, they both readied themselves for a fight, Big Mac lifting his sword in his magic, and Spike readying his staff. Discord cackled and twanged his bow. “Let the games begin!”

After that, however, things got weirder, as the other members of Pinkie’s gang were unfamiliar to Twilight or any of the others.

The first, which stepped up to Discord’s right was . . . an anthropomorphic bunny with grey fur, wearing what looked like a pair of white cotton gloves and munching on a carrot. He took a particularly loud, crunching bite of his snack, cocked an eyebrow at Titan and his constructs, and spoke, in what to Twilight sounded like a thick Manehattan accent.

“Eh, what’s up, Doc?”

After that, to Cheese’s left, stepped up what looked like a human, but one with a sickly green face, that seemed rather ridiculously out of proportion, with an over sized nose and chin, wearing a bright yellow suit with a huge hat that had a large peacock feather sticking out of it. He grinned, showing a mouth full of comically large teeth, and tugged on his suspenders.

“Sssssmokin’!”

And then there was the last one, who stepped up right beside Pinkie Pie, and cracked his neck. He was a tall human in a full body, skintight red and black suit, his eyes covered by some sort of stretchy, white material that made his mask surprisingly expressive. He had a pair of short swords crossed over his back, and numerous bags and belts holding all sorts of violent weapons and gadgets on his body. He held up a pair of weapons in his hands, something that looked similar to what Fyren had described as “handguns” and, somehow noticeably grinning in spite of the mask, exclaimed.

“Damn, that’s a lotta bad guys! Hey, Pinkie, I think you’re gonna owe me more than just a cherrychanga when this is over!”

“Oh, relax, DP, it’s not like you haven’t dealt with worse!”

“Eh, that’s true! Anyway, Maximum Effort?”

“Oh, yeah! Maximum Effort!”

Then, the two of them stepped to the side, never taking their eyes off of their foes, and the last member of her team stepped forward.

His body was encased in shining steel plate armour, from head to toe. A green cloak hung from his back, attached beneath the pauldrons that covered his shoulders, while the tails of a surcoat hung from beneath the edge of the faulds that protected his groin and hips. The surcoat was bisected with a coat of arms, with the left side being a fiery red and emblazoned with the yellow sun of Celestia’s cutie mark, while on the right was a deep midnight blue, marked with the crescent moon on a black background of Luna’s.

His breastplate was decorated with six stones, each each shaped and coloured like one of the stones of the Elements of Harmony, and arrayed with the five, Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity and Laughter, surrounding the sixth, the purple star of Magic, in the middle.

His head was covered by a sallet helm, it’s visor obscuring his face, but for the green eyes that looked out of it. Atop the helm, there was a vertical horsehair crest, dyed a brilliant red.

And then, there was the sword.

Four feet long, with a nine inch hilt capped by a wheel pommel, an eight inch crossguard, and over three feet of blade which was double-edged and tapered slowly to a point, the weapon was held in his right hand, and looked beautiful and deadly, all at once. As she watched, Twilight saw a pattern in the steel of the blade, a pattern that, as the light glinted on it, shone with a plethora of colours, like a rainbow.

The knight stepped forward, into the lead position, and raised a hand, lifting his visor, and Twilight felt her heart swell, even as Titan snarled in rage.

“You!”

“That’s right, asshole.” Fyren growled, glaring out of the helmet at Titan. “It’s time for round two, and this time, I brought backup.”

“I will destroy you!” Titan roared, and with a gesture, his constructs all wheeled, and began charging towards Fyren and Pinkie’s squad.

Fyren shut his visor and stepped back, taking a comfortable stance, and lifted the sword into a two-handed grip, so it was above his head, blade angled back forty-five degrees.

“Come and get it.”

I felt like SUCH a badass, in that moment. To my left, Deadpool lifted his hand, making a motion like he was ringing a bell. “Ding, ding!” He yelled and, surrounded by the most awesome and beloved characters of my life, I felt the energy sweep through me, and with a roar, we charged headlong into the force of ninja constructs that Titan had conjured to fight the ponies.

It worried me, that the number of them was so small, and that several of the ones who should have been there were not. But I couldn’t get distracted. My target was simple: Get to Titan, and kick his ass.

Easy peasy.

To my left, Pinkie jumped into the fray with an exaggerated “Hii-YAAA!”, spinning around and striking one ninja in the face with her rolling pin, before turning as another lunged at her with his sword. She struck it aside and swiped her other hoof out, wrapping her licorice rope around his neck. She turned, kicking another away from her as she drug the one along behind her.

Deadpool intercepted the one she kicked, catching him in a lover’s embrace before blowing his head into a cloud of smoke. The Merc with a Mouth spun like a ballerina, firing off his H&Ks randomly into the crowd of ninja, giggling like a school girl as he went.

Discord, Spike and Big Mac were encircled by ninja, but they were laying down some serious butt hurt on the constructs, Discord’s arrows finding every mark, while Spike’s magic opened up the ninja’s defenses for Big Mac’s sword to take advantage of.

Cheese Sandwich and the Mask were doing there best to one up each other when it came to finding amusing ways to put down the constructs. Cheese conked one over the head with a frying pan, so Mask smashed one with a sledge hammer. Cheese shot one with a cap pistol that fired real bullets, so Mask shot one with a bullet that fired smaller bullets.

Bugs was having the time of his life, wearing a frilly pink tutu, and dancing around between the ninja, narrowly avoiding their blades. Everywhere he went, in his path, random heavy objects were falling from seemingly nowhere to crush the ninja he left behind.

It was just a bit terrifying, how quickly the six ‘Breakers’, as Pinkie called them, had taken total control of their environment, and were wreaking utter havoc amongst Titan’s constructs. Even as I watched, Pinkie finished off the ninja she was pulling along by using the rope of licorice to throw him spinning into a crowd of his comrades. The Mask clobbered a pair of ninja with a huge wooden mallet, before pulling a small trampoline out of thin air and dropping it onto the ground, just in time for Cheese Sandwich to bounce off of it, fly through the air, do a corkscrew and a flip, and land in the turret of a huge, multicoloured vehicle I recognized as his party tank.

The yellow party pony pulled a pair of goggles down over his eyes and pressed something inside the tank’s driver seat. Music began blaring from a pair of speakers that popped out of it’s sides, something about taking a trip to the hardware store, and the tank began rolling, even as the Mask leaped up and fit himself into the barrel of the cannon, wearing a stunt helmet painted like an American flag, with his own pair of goggles pulled over his eyes.

And that was a long ass sentence, wasn’t it?

Shut it, me.

Nice to have you back, bub!

I turned as the cannon fired, rocketing the insane zoot-suiter into the midst of the ninja like an insanity bomb, as Deadpool spun around, back to back with Pinkie Pie, kicking all kinds of ass with a gun in one hand and a katana in the other. I turned, and my eyes came to rest on the figure of Titan, who was standing, staring at what was taking place in front of him, on the front stoop of Town Hall.

His eyes landed on me, and I lifted my langschwert in front of my face in a salute, then started moving forward, into the fray.

A construct’s blade flickered from my left, struck my helmet and simply glanced off with a pinging noise. I grabbed the construct by the throat without looking, and saw a flicker of orange from the stones on my chest.

I ignored this oddity, even as I lifted the construct and threw him into the crowd as though he weighed nothing. A pair of them came from my right, and I spun, blocking one’s sword with my left arm, the steel of my armour shedding the blade as though it wasn’t there. My own sword, flickering like a rainbow, ran through the other like a hot knife through butter, and he vaporized in a cloud of prismatic sparks.

I turned, decapitating the other with a smooth strike, and whirled, lifting my blade into a two handed grip, and caught Titan’s sword on it, the two edges biting into each other, but neither doing anything more than that.

I saw his eyes, through the mask. Saw them for the first time, one blue-grey and staring at me in shock and fear, and the other drooped, and turned to the side so badly there was no way he could see out of it.

“What do you think? That you’re goi-gah!”

I interrupted his attempt at mid-bind banter by doing what any competent swordsman would. I used the situation to my advantage. I shoved my sword up, the sharp bind between the blades carrying his sword up as well. I reared back, planted my boot heel into his gut and kicked him backwards.

He hit the ground and rolled onto his side, staggering to his feet and pointing his sword at me as I advanced.

“Wh . . What’s wrong with y-”

I struck into his sword with mine, lining my point up with his face even as I moved his aside, and stepped forward, thrusting short and sharp from the hip. He panicked, taking a two handed grip and trying to shove my sword aside wildly. I
let my sword go weak in the bind, rolling around his force, stepping in close, releasing my left hand from the grip of my sword and slammed the pommel into his face, knocking him backwards.

As he staggered, I turned on my heel, wrapping my left arm over both of his, trapping them, and kept moving, tripping up his feet and throwing him to the ground, his sword clattering away as he went.

As he coughed and tried to roll onto his knees, I bent down and picked up his sword, watching as he looked up at me. His mask was cracked, fractures spreading out from where my pommel hit him, and saw it in his eyes: His anger, and with it his belief, was cracking, just like the mask. Fear was pouring through, even as he tried to keep it dammed up behind a mask
of bravado.

“Y-You cheated! You-You can’t do that!”

“Really? I just did.”

He growled, looking at his sword in my hand, and I glanced down at it.

“Oh, you want this?”

I tossed it to him nonchalantly, and he caught it awkwardly.

“Then take it.”

He staggered to his feet, narrowing his eyes at me, and pointed his sword at me. I stepped back, balancing my weight on my rear foot, and let my sword rest in my hands, down by my hips, the blade angled off to my right, in what Fiore called the Iron Gate.

I kept my back straight, weight balanced, and ready to move.

I saw his eyes narrow, then widen suddenly. He snapped the blade of his sword up, screaming as he rushed in, sweeping the blade down at the top of my head.

With a smooth side step and a twist of my arms and wrists, I snapped the blade up from an Italian guard into a German strike. The Thwarting Strike whipped the false, or back edge of the blade through air, catching his blow from the side, displacing it and channeling it down into my crossguard, which itself had come to rest above my eye level, keeping my head out of harm’s way. My blade struck him soundly in the side of the head, and he staggered, gasping.

I stepped in, rotating my sword around his, using his blade as a fulcrum. My right forearm pushed into his blade, forcing it down and to my right as the pommel of my sword hooked around his wrist, trapping it. My own blade crossed in front of him, and I stepped in with my left leg, placing it behind his right, reached across with my left hand, grabbing the blade of my sword about halfway down and pulled back and down, catching his neck between the angle of my blade and forearm, and tripped him backwards over my leg.

He hit the ground, hard, and came to rest on his back. His mask was fractured badly, now, revealing pasty white skin and locks of greasy black hair that clung to his face. His sword once more went clattering away across the ground, and he shook his head, trying to force himself to sit up. I stepped up and pressed the tip of my blade against his neck.

It wasn’t that I was really this much of a badass, but this was the Dreamrealms. I could be anything I wanted to be, here. Anything. Even a master level swordsman. The difference was, I knew what that actually meant, and how it worked. He didn’t, aside from what he thought he knew from anime and video games, which just doesn’t work in a real sword fight, for the most part. And, with Luna’s help, I had made a complex, intricate construct of a sword, one that even his belief that his sword could cut through anything would find hard to deal with.

I saw it, as he looked up, as his will broke, and what few ninja constructs were left, which by this point were mostly dim shadows of themselves that were barely any threat, disappeared in a puff of smoke. I glanced up to Luna and nodded.

“Princess, if you’d be so kind. Wake us up, please.”

With a nod, she closed her eyes, and the world around us twisted, bent and disintegrated, throwing us left, right, up and down all at once. It all came together again, and we found ourselves standing together in the real Ponyville town square, the sky just starting to tinge with Celestia’s dawn. Luna released the magic and dropped to the ground, panting.

I walked over to her, leaving Titan kneeling in a pile of his own failed ego, and touched her withers. “Are you alright, Princess?”

She looked up at me and nodded. “Yes, Fyren. It seems that Celestia has taken over my tasks for the night, as I asked her to.” She said, glancing up to where the moon was dipping below the horizon. I glanced off to the east, and saw the reddish glow of the coming dawn, along with the high white spires of Canterlot in the distance to the north, gleaming in the coming sun.

I turned and looked around, seeing ponies coming out of their homes to see what the disturbance was all about. They were all well. All unharmed.

All but a few.

Bon Bon came stumbling out of her house, carrying Lyra over her back. The minty green unicorn had a bad looking bruise along her barrel, possibly even some cracked ribs.

Lights were on in Carousel Boutique, and I saw Sweetie Belle come stumbling out of the door, looking around, and then ran towards us.

“T-Twilight!? Help! It’s Rarity! She’s hurt! I don’t know how, but she’s hurt!”

Twilight took the young filly under her wing and nuzzled her. “It’s okay, Sweetie Belle! Rarity will be okay! We all will, now. . . . I think.” She said, a look of concern coming over her face, as she glanced up towards a small house on the edge of the square, near the post office.

A single light was on in one window, but nopony had come out of it.

I turned and looked, but saw that members of the Lunar Guard had shown up, probably on Luna’s orders, and they now had Titan surrounded. And, besides, the look on the fallen edgelord was enough to say that he wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while.

I took off my helm, feeling the cool dawn air stinging the sweat on my scalp as I fell into step beside Twilight as she, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and the others made for the house. I wasn’t sure who’s it was, but Twily seemed worried. It wasn’t until Rainbow broke from the group, heading for the door, that I saw the mailbox out front, with the name “Hooves” on it.

The cyan pegasus reached the door and started pounding on it with a hoof. “Derpy?! Derpy, you in there!? C’mon, Derps, open up! Please!” Rainbow begged at the door, and something in my heart cracked a bit. Surely . . . surely not. I stopped a few yards back, feeling my shoulders slump as Rainbow was met by silence.

Twilight bit her lip and looked away as Rainbow began to get louder and more pathetic, nearly sobbing as she beat on the door. AJ walked up behind her and put a hoof on her shoulder, pulling her away. I felt my heart break when RD turned, glaring at the orange pony, only to break down, and fall into her embrace, crying.

I looked at the ground, then over at Pinkie standing nearby, who was doing the same. We should have been faster. We should have done something. . . We should have. . . .

We were interrupted by the door opening, just a crack, and a small eye, gold and rimmed with tears, looked out at us. The door slowly opened wider, revealing a young unicorn filly, who had clearly been crying, and was now looking at us with a puzzled, sad expression.

I saw Applejack look away, taking a breath, her eyes gone distant, but Rainbow pulled away from the farm pony and moved forward, towards the filly. “D-Dinky? Is . . . Where’s your mom?”

The little filly just looked at her for a long, silent moment, and I saw Rainbow start to collapse into herself again. Then, with a silent shuffle, the filly, Dinky Doo, stepped aside and looked back into the dark house. Out of that darkness, shadows stirred, and a figured hobbled forward. Her grey coat marred by extensive bruising, and even a bit of blood here and there, one eye swollen shut and favouring her left front leg, Derpy Hooves limped out into the light and looked up at us, a small smile tilting up one corner of her mouth.

“Sorry, everypony. . . I woulda been there to help but . . . I just-” She was interrupted by a racking cough, and a bit of blood dribbled down her chin as she swayed on her hooves. Like a flash, Rainbow was there to catch her, supporting the other pegasus on her back, and Applejack was right behind her.

Softly, Derpy continued. “I . . . I just don’t know what went wrong.” She said, and smiled softly at Rainbow, before her eyes rolled back and she went limp.

“DERPY!” Rainbow yelled, and Applejack moved up next to her. The farm pony pressed her ear to the pegasus’ chest, and looked at Rainbow.

“RD, she’s still breathin’! Ya hear me? She’s still alive, but we need to get ‘er to the hospital, now! without, making her injuries worse!”

Rainbow nodded and, with AJ’s help, started making her way as fast as she could to Ponyville General. I was breathing pretty hard, and I turned at the sound of a soft voice, as Fluttershy was comforting little Dinky, patting her back and promising to get her some sweets, and that her mom would be alright.

I looked at Pinkie, and saw her mane had deflated a bit under it’s bandanna. We looked at each other, and felt each other’s guilt all over again. Then, we heard a low, driving breathing, like someone trying really, really hard to not explode. We turned and saw Twilight, standing by the side of the road, panting through her nostrils, eyes wide with rage.

“Twi?” I asked, softly, and she snapped her head up and glared at me.

“This is my fault.” She said, her voice frighteningly calm, considering the fiery rage that was burning in her eyes.

I shook my head, and I and Pinkie both spoke at the same time.

“No, Twily.”

“No, way, Twilight! If we had gotten there sooner, it wouldn’t’ve happened! If there’s anypony to blame, it’s us!”

“No.”

Her simple word stopped us both in our tracks, and we looked at her as she stared at the ground at her hooves, body shaking in rage.

“He was after me. He said as much. Threatened to hurt them if I . . . if I didn’t come stay with him. Be his.” She slowly looked up, and I noticed a flicker of flame along the edges of her mane and tail.

“He did all of this . . . because of me! None of this would have happened. . . If not for ME!” With that, she let out a scream of rage, turning on the cluster of Lunar guards, who, along with Luna, were attempting to get Titan up off his knees. They all looked up as the growing dawn light was suddenly over shadowed by a bonfire blaze, and I stepped back, Pinkie and I both shielding our eyes as Twilight took wing, her body turning an iridescent white, and her mane and tail igniting in flame.

Titan finally looked up at the sound, and I saw his eyes go wide in true, unfiltered terror. He began trying to scramble away as Twilight flew up to him, the guards scattering away from the intense heat of her presence.

I heard a crunch from beside me, and turned and saw the Breakers, all five of them, sitting on chairs pulled from nowhere, munching on popcorn and baby carrots. Deadpool sat up and, with a somehow visible grin, shook his fist in the air. “Oooohhh! Looks like somebody finally got noticed by Senpai!”

I watched as the flaming image of Twilight moved forward, hovering in front of Titan, and her magic reached out, wrapping around him and lifting him off the ground. The magic itself had enough heat in it that his cloak began to smolder. He cried out in fear and pain, writhing under her hold, and Luna stepped forward, eyes wide in fear and awe.

“Twilight Sparkle!” She said, her voice holding command in it’s depths.

“WHAT?!” Twily snapped, rounding on the other Alicorn, her eyes blazing and red in the dim light of dawn. Luna stepped back but kept her head held high, meeting that gaze.

“This is not who you are, Twilight.”

“This freak tried to kill my friends! He tortured and tormented us all! And I will not allow him to do it again!”

“Think, Twilight Sparkle! Is this really what you feel is the right way?”

“NO! But it’s the only way!”

“No, Twilight.”

The calm voice broke through everything else, seeming louder than even Twilight’s enraged roar, in spite of being spoken in a soft, motherly tone. I looked over, along with most every other pony, and instantly felt my heart catch in my throat.

Celestia stepped out of the rays of the rising sun like the solar goddess she may as well have been, and when Twilight saw her, her expression broke, her magic releasing Titan to hit the ground. I saw her slowly drift back to earth, her eyes never leaving her former teacher, as the flames of her rage abated. She looked around herself, then up at Celestia, and tears filled her eyes.

“I . . . I’m sorry, Princess, I just . . . I . . . “

Celestia stepped forward, wrapping her student in one wing and holding her close.

“It’s alright, Twilight. We have all been in such places before. Places where pain and anger rule us. I am just thankful that I taught you well enough to let go of such things, before all you had left was sorrow, and regret.”

Twilight glanced once more at Titan, who cringed away from her gaze. “What do we do with him?”

Celestia looked at him as well. “First, I believe there is an item here that needs dealing with, wouldn’t you agree, sister?”

Luna stepped forward and, without a word, her cyan magic reached out, grabbed the mask that covered Titan’s face, and pulled it off. Just like that, the black, shadowy cloak that surrounded him disappeared, and it left behind . . .

I stepped forward, looking down at him. He looked to be in his twenties, but somehow seemed younger than that, by way of his attitude and dress. He was wearing jeans held up by suspenders, that were pulled much to high up, leaving too much of his ankles showing above the sneakers he was wearing. Under the suspenders, he wore a graphic t-shirt showing a stylized skull. He was terribly slender, to the point of being anorexic, and his lank, shoulder length black hair hung around his pale, clean shaven face.

One eye looked up at Twilight and the rest of us with fear and pain, while the other looked off at nothing, a lazy eye, much like what I had, but far, far worse. I stared down at him, this figure I had fought against, had hated with every fiber of my being for what he was doing to the ponies that I had come to love. I looked down on him, now, in my victory. . . And I felt only pity.

Twilight stepped forward as well, looking down at him, and at her approach, he began to cry softly, curling into a ball at her hooves.

“P-Please. . . . I wanna go home. . . . “ He whimpered softly, and I turned away, looking at Twi. She stood there, staring at him, and I saw her heart breaking in her eyes. Celestia stepped up beside her, putting a wing over her shoulders, and nodded to her sister. With a flash of her horn, Luna crushed the mask into dust, and cast it into the wind.

Celestia stroked Twily’s back with her wing, and nuzzled her student, getting her to look at her.

“Do not worry, Twilight. We will take him somewhere safe, and see what we can do to help him. He clearly needs it.”

Twilight nodded slowly, looking back as Luna, with the help of her guard, picked the man up and began escorting him towards an enclosed carriage that had pulled up on the other side of the square.

I looked back around as I felt a heavy gaze on me, and met the light, lavender eyes of the Solar Princess. I took a knee, bowing my head as she stepped up to me, looking me over. She was silent for some time, before I felt the soft feathers of her wing under my chin, lifting it to look at her. I rose as she lifted my chin, until I was standing in front of her, and discovered the odd feeling of actually being on eye level with a pony.

“So, you are Fyren.” She said, softly, and I nodded, clearing my throat, nervously.

“Y-Yes, Your Highness.”

“Oh, please, none of that. You’ve helped my sister and my little ponies in the last few days. I think that earns you the right to be counted among my friends. Sir Fyren.” She said, looking over the armour and sword that I was carrying, and I blushed.

“But, perhaps find somewhere to store all of this, when you don’t need it? It’s rather . . . intimidating, I feel.” She said, with a wink. “Perhaps in Twilight’s castle? That way you’ll always be near it.” With that, she turned as though to leave.

“Princess?” I asked, not sure what she was talking about.

She stopped, turning to look at me. “Well, if we’re going to have our own human defender, I can think of no better place for him to live than here, in Ponyville.” She looked to my right, and I turned and saw Pinkie Pie standing next to me, a big grin on her face.

“Besides,” Celestia continued. “I fear taking you off to Canterlot might anger some of the locals. Or worse, make them decide to move there, themselves.” She said, winking and chuckling.

“You’re damn right, Sunbutt!” Pinkie shouted, grinning, much to Twilight’s chagrin, and Deadpool’s amusement.

Witha soft chuckle Celestia turned and left with her sister and the guardwagon carrying Titan, and I turned and knelt down in front of Pinkie.

“Well. Looks like I’m staying here, now.”

She looked at me with a soft smile on her face. “For how long, this time?”

I grinned at her and shrugged. “I’m not sure. . . is ‘forever’ too long?”

She beamed from ear to ear, jumped up, wrapped her hooves around my neck and pulled me into a deep, lingering kiss. I heard, distantly, catcalls and wolf whistles from the Breakers, but ignored them, lost in the love and joy I felt with my sweet, pink pony.

When the kiss finally broke, she drew back, catching her breath, and grinned at me again. “No. I think that’s just about right.”

A typical Monday at Sugarcube Corner had me and the Ponks way too busy to do anything but rush around. I would run the register while she was in back baking, and then we’d swap out for a bit and I would stock shelves while she played cashier mare.

The day usually went by quick, and she and I would spend lunch together, often joined by the other girls. Things had been a bit awkward between Flutters and me for a while, after the events of Arc II, but we managed to get over it, and I had even been able to get along with Discord whenever he showed up.

When the work day would finally end, she and I would retire to our room in Twilight’s Castle together. After the battle with Titan, the party pone had made it very clear that we were a thing, now, and wherever I was sleeping was where she was sleeping. After coming to an understanding that her room at the Corner was way too small for me, she had moved out, and come to stay with me in the Castle.

The Castle of Friendship had a knack for having the exact sort of room you needed, when you needed it, so it had come as no surprise to most of us when, after Titan had been defeated, we had gone there and found the perfect room, spacious, with a high ceiling, just as I liked, with human sized furniture and even wall racks and a stand for weapons and armour.

Now, the suit of armour I had crafted for myself in the Dreamrealms hung on the stand, and was often quite eye catching. It seemed to need no real maintenance, always maintaining a bright polish. I had not forgotten the strange flicker of orange light I had seen the day of the fight, and some further experimentation had proven that the armour could grant me certain abilities. Like, in that case, Applejack’s physical strength.

Twilight said that, somehow, the armour appeared linked to the Elements of Harmony, and was able to grant it’s wearer, me in other words, certain abilities, but only when it deemed that I needed them. As such, I had no way of controlling those abilities, so there wasn’t much point in worrying about them.

Today, however, neither I nor Pinkie had any care about the suit of armour, or the fine sword that hung on a rack above it. We were too lost in each other. A little fooling around on breaks and lunches could hardly compare to being able to properly demonstrate your love for your special somepony. And that was just what the two of us were intent on doing.

A couple hours later, we both lay, exhausted and sweat soaked, but utterly content, wrapped around each other. We didn’t say anything. No words were needed. We had each other, so we had heaven in the palms of our hands.

Or, in my case, the frog of my hoof!

Eeyup!

Tuesdays weren’t too much different from Mondays, in all honesty, and they tended to go about the same way, too. Hours of work, broken up by brief breaks and lunch, then finally time to clock out and go home.

I still had a smile on my face the entire time, though. I didn’t care that I was still working a minimum wage job that wasn’t TOO different from what I had done back on Earth Prime. I didn’t care that there were still rude customers who thought I was an idiot.

I didn’t care, because I was happy. I had everything I could ever want. And, if I had it my way, nothing would ever take that away from me again, let alone my own insecurities.

Wednesdays were always boring as Tartarus, and usually left me and Pinks with too much time to kill. It wasn’t really surprising that we’d wind up fooling around together on the job. The risk of getting caught by the Cakes only made it more exciting, balanced by the fact that the two were much too kindhearted, and loved Pinkie too much, to do anything more than give us a verbal chewing out if they did happen to catch us.

That day, we were watching the front door, or supposed to be, at least. I wasn’t really focusing on much beyond the amazing tongue work of the gorgeous pink mare who was down under the counter. Her mouth was hot and wet, and heavenly around my flesh, and I knew there was no way in hell I was going to make it much longer.

And then, of course, the bell over the door jingled.

I jerked up, and winced at the bang against the underside of the counter top as Pinkie did the same, with inevitable results. I reached down, touching her head gently, and she patted my hand to assure me that she was alright. Other than that, though, she remained silent.

Good thing, too. Of all the ponies in Ponyville, the one who had just walked in was the one most likely to cause us difficulties if she found out what we’d been up to.

I plastered my best shit-eating grin over my face, hoping like hell that there wasn’t too much of a sex smell in the air, and greeted our inconvenient customer.

“Oh, well, good day to you, Mrs. Rich!” I said, voice dripping with obviously false sincerity as the snooty looking cunt with her weird ass face walked in and looked around. I was convinced she’d had some kind of surgery to get her face to look that way, so she could walk around and be perpetually sneering at everything.

Either that, or Mom had been right, and your face really could get stuck like that.

She glanced at me and somehow her sneer got even more pronounced.

“Oh, it’s you.” She said, voice dripping with scorn, and my grin got a bit more strained.

Spoiled Rich and I did not get along very well, at the best of times. She thought I was some freak who should go back where I came from, and I thought she was a stuck up child abuser who should be locked away in Tartarus for a very, very long time. Preferably next to the nastiest, smelliest creature in there.

But, a customer was a customer, and, besides . . . there was the fact that, unbeknownst to her royal cuntiness, I had my dick out right now under the counter. The thought caused my grin to become both more real, and more sarcastic. I leaned forward over the counter, intentionally booping Pinkie in the nose with my shaft, and I felt more than heard her suppress a giggle.

She knew me as well as I knew her, and she knew exactly what I was thinking, right now.

“That’s right, it’s me! Ponyville’s favorite resident hoo-man!” I responded, stiffening a bit as I felt Pinkie’s tongue flick over the tip of my shaft. Spoiled shot me a glare, completely oblivious to what was going on under the counter, and turned away from me.

“Yes, I know. I would like to deal with a pony, if you don’t mind.” She said, sniffing haughtily. Oh, well, apparently we could add ‘Racist Bitch’ to her resume, as well. Not surprising, really.

I paused for a moment, seemingly to clear my throat, but actually to let off a bit of steam. Pinkie had just taken me back into her mouth and it was amazing, as usual. I tugged at my collar, then shrugged, smiling at the . . . at Spoiled.

“Sorry, Mrs. Rich, but I’m the only one here, right now.”

“What?! What about that spastic little baker pony?!”

I clenched my teeth, and felt my gaze sharpen a bit. Admittedly, it was true, Pinkie was a bit spastic, but true or not, it was Spoiled’s tone that I had a problem with. I had several thoughts of what to say to her, none of them particularly grand ideas, and Pinkie evidently figured that much out, because she chose that moment to do the Thing with her tongue that she could do, and my breath left me in a big gasp, just as I was opening my mouth to tell Spoiled where she could shove it.

The Rich Bitch looked at me in shock, blinking, as I attempted to turn my gasping moan into a harsh, wracking cough. I leaned over the counter, covering my face with one hand so she wouldn’t see the huge, goofy smile I was wearing right then, and kept hacking like I had a frog stuck in my throat.

You know, as opposed to having a party pony sucking my dick?

“What in the name of Celestia is wrong with you?!” She asked, looking at me disgustedly, and for a moment I was afraid my act had failed. My back tensed a bit, and I felt Pinkie freeze under the counter.

“You’re not contagious, are you?!” Spoiled asked, and I felt relief flood through me.

“No, ma’am.” I said, thinking to leave it there, but then an idea flickered through my head.

A horrible, wicked idea.

Almost as horrible as as reusing that joke.

Oh, shut up and get on with it!

I glanced sideways at Spoiled, and gave another wracking cough, really exaggerating this one. As I did, Pinkie fell back into rhythm, and it was a good thing my coughing covered it up, because I would have given a moan otherwise.

I looked up at the rich twat across from me and smiled apologetically. “At least, not that I know of, not to ponies. Heaven knows, it would be different, if I was back home.”

Her eyes went wide and she took a step back. “W-What?! Why are you even in here, then?!”

“Well, you see, Pinkie’s . . . busy, today, and the Cakes had to have somecreature to watch the shop, and I’m *Unf-Cough-hack-cough*. . . I’m the only one they trust.” I said, Pinkie’s ministrations leading me to another ‘coughing fit’, in the middle of my speech, which only drove things home even more.

By this point, Spoiled was looking absolutely disgusted and mortified.

“Really! I’ve never heard of such ridiculousness! What, might I ask, is that little pink menace so busy with that they had to ask you to mind the shop?!”

I tilted my head at her, narrowing my eyes while my smile turned a bit sharper.

“She had to go downtown and give Scully some help cleaning the kitchen.”

I felt Pinkie freeze up, her throat growing tighter and her breath against my pelvis becoming a bit sharper.

Spoiled gave me a blank stare, blinking in confusion. “Whut?”

“Yeah, I figure she’ll probably get her knees dirty, but Pinkie’s all about good service, just ask Lewinski.”

There was a faint snorting sound from under the counter, and I felt her tongue and throat working. She pressed herself further down on my shaft, as though trying to use it as a makeshift gag.

At this point, Spoiled was looking at me as though I were out of my mind. “Who in the hay is ‘Lewinsky’? What the buck are you even talking about?!”

It was becoming harder to keep a straight face, and my eyes were shining, I knew, but I couldn’t stop.

“Oh, you know, Becky needed some help tossing the salad, so Pinkie went to give her some of her knowledge regarding how to take a turn in the barrel, and square away some premium nosh. That said, she’s a real cunning linguist, and has a good head on her shoulders for playing the rusty trombone.”

That one proved to be too much, and I felt Pinkie nearly strangling around my cock as she attempted to not burst out laughing. I was grinning like an idiot by this point, as well, and Spoiled was glaring at me.

“I don’t what kind of joke you think you’re playing, but you, sir, are insane! I’ll see to it the Cakes hear about this. You will be fired! And we’ll see if a gangly, ugly, bald, flat faced freak like you manages to get another job in this town!”

My dick suddenly felt cold.

Oh, boy.

Like a flash, Pinkie was out from under the counter, leaning over it, drool running down her chin, her big baby blues boring a hole through the back of Spoiled’s head.

“What. Did. You. Say?” She ground out, eyes narrowing, and the other mare staggered backwards, stammering.

“Wh-wh-whu-whu-”

“No! No, you did not say ‘wh-wh-whu-whu-’! I would have known if you had said ‘wh-wh-whu-whu-’, because my Pinkie Sense alerts me to all usages of the many dialects of Gibberish that are spoken in the multiverse! No, you just insulted my coltfriend! Who is twice the person you’ll ever be, you stuck up, prudish old COW!”

Spoiled’s eyes went wide. “You . . .You deviants! I’ll see you both fired for this! foals come in here! My own, sweet little Diamond comes in here!”

“Oh, don’t act like you care about her, you bitch!” Pinkie snarled, and I took a step back, staring at her. I had never seen her this angry before. Her eyes were on fire, and her nostrils were flaring. It was terrifying. . . . And very, VERY hot.

Spoiled was back to stammering, and Pinkie took advantage.

“You’re nothing but a self-centered, egotistical meanie-pants, and the only thing you’ve ever cared about is your own image! Get out! Get out and don’t come back! Diamond can come back, because she’s a good filly. Twice as good as you’ll ever be!”

Spoiled made a few more threats, going on loudly about how we were a pair of sick pervs who needed to be locked away, and that she’d make sure we got what was coming to us, yadda-yadda-yadda, but the whole time she was backing out the door, and then fleeing down the street.

Pinkie stepped back, breathing hard, and wiped the spit off her face. “Damn that felt good! I’ve been wanting to do that for a LONG time!”

She turned and looked at me. “And just what was that?! Were you trying to get us caught?! I mean, it was freakin’ hilarious, of course, but what if she had known what all those words meant?! Not all ponies are clueless about sex, ya know?”

She blinked at me, leaning forward with a concerned frown on her face. “Fyrie? Hellloooooo?! Anycreature home? You okay, there, big guy?”

I knelt down, coming face to face with her and looked deeply, longingly into her eyes.

“Have my babies.”

She stared for a second, then burst out laughing. I simply knelt there, a look of infinitely strained patience on my face as she rolled around on the floor, cackling. It took her nearly ten minutes to get her laughter under enough control to return to our previously interrupted activities, and even then she kept bursting into random fits of giggles all day.

Oh, well. At least I made her smile.

No, the Cakes didn’t fire us, but they did dock our pay for the next few weeks. Apparently, that had been Spoiled’s idea. It really showed where her priorities lay, that she thought it would hurt us to have our pay taken away. We who were living in a Castle owned by a close personal friend (and I mean very close), who had no bills or other things we had to spend our money on. The only thing we did with our money was blow it on useless junk that we thought looked fun or cool or like it would taste good.

The Cakes, of course, knew that it wouldn’t hurt us to have our pay docked, which was why they agreed to it so readily. The only annoying part was, the higher class ponies who lived in Ponyville were now avoiding the Corner. Spoiled had forbidden Diamond from ever going there again, and spread the word, no doubt inflated and blown all out of proportion, amongst her peers.

Seriously, from what I had overheard, the story she was telling was that we had actually been fucking on the counter top when she came in. As though we’d ever do something that stupid. Like she said, foals came in there all the time. At least with what we were doing, it wasn’t visible, and, if given the opportunity, Pinkie could slip away, clean up and reappear elsewhere as though nothing had been going on.

See? We weren’t that stupidly controlled by our raging hormones.

No, really!

So, Thursday was another day like any other, aside from the tongue-lashing(No, not that kind, you deviants!) from the Cakes, and finding out that we wouldn’t have any money for candy or board games for the next few weeks.

Fortunately, Pinkie has a lot of bits saved up. She’s one smart cookie, is my marefriend.

Friday was pretty much the same as Thursday, although the shop was especially busy that day. That was the thing about Spoiled’s little ‘plan’ to ruin the Corner; There weren’t really that many influential, rich ponies that actually lived Ponyville, so most of our customers were just normal, everyday, down to earth folks.

Me and Pinks had to deal with a lot of questions and the occasional stares, but that was nothing for us. All in a days fun.

Ahhhh, Saturdays in Ponyville. A day that was often either boring or stressful back on Earth Prime, but here? Something fun/interesting was always happening on a Saturday. This week, we had a spring of friendship problems all over town, Discord was causing issues because Fluttershy had decided to go shopping with Tree Hugger instead of him, and a hydra tried to invade the town from the Everfree.

With myself and the Mane Six, along with Starlight and Spike, working together, we managed to get all of it cleared up in about an hour.

“Whew!” Pinkie exclaimed as we all stood, watching the hydra run crying back into the forest. “That was enough for another special episode!”

Everypony looked at her funny, except Discord and I, who both just nodded.

Ah, yeah.

Saturdays are awesome.

I awoke slowly, stretching under the warm blankets, and felt the soft fur of the warm mare beside me. A smile slowly curled up the corners of my mouth as I turned and looked at Pinkie Pie. It had been three months since we had vanquished Titan, and everything had worked out alright, in the end.

All of the injured had fully recovered, even Derpy who had been the worst off of the lot. And, for me personally, this time had been . . . heaven. I was back in Equestria, where I felt I truly belonged, and I had the best, loveliest, sexiest mare in the whole world as my lover. It was perfect.

Almost too perfect.

I had brought up this concern to Pinkie, and she had agreed that it seemed like the narrative was being awfully quiet. A look through the Fourth had shown little activity on our end of things, but Pinkie and I had both sensed something. Something far off in the distance, but approaching. It was impossible to tell how soon it would reach us, but we both agreed that if we were feeling it from this far away, it had to be something huge.

I couldn’t help but worry a bit about what, exactly, the Author had in mind for us. Pinkie, however, was her usual, cheerful self, and always helped me to take my mind off of it.

As I stared at her, her big blue eyes flickered open, and she smiled at me softly. “Good morning, Fyrie. Oh, should I call you that, now? I mean, I guess I could call you “Edgie”, but that sounds kind of . . . emo.”

I snorted, thinking about the glimpses of the “real” world we had caught when we looked through the Fourth. I shook my head. “True Edge is my other self’s OC, and is therefore a different character from myself. I am still Fyren, Ponks.”

She smiled and leaned in, pressing her lips to mine, and I wrapped my arms around her, breathing in the sweet, tart taste of cherries as her tongue slipped into my mouth. We lay there for a time, simply drinking each other in, and I basked in the feeling of her warm, soft fur against my flesh, her tongue dancing around my own.

It had often surprised me, how gentle and passionate the usually hyperactive, chaotic pink pony could be. Our first time making love after we were properly together had been slow, gentle and so very heated. It wasn’t that we hadn’t done things fast and hard from time to time, since, but there was something about having her all to myself, for as long as I wanted her, to simply take things slow and make love to her, worship her as she deserved. It made my heart swell with pride and joy.

We finally broke the kiss, both of us panting, looking deeply into each others eyes. I felt her love, through the beating of her heart beneath the soft floof of her chest, the gentle touch of her hooves against my sides, and the shining light in her eyes. I loved those eyes, so big, and warm and happy, like a cloudless summer sky.

I leaned forward, pressing my face to hers, not kissing, just nuzzling, just being close to her, and she responded in kind, a soft sound of contentedness and pleasure slipping from her as she wrapped all four of her legs tightly around me, her fluffy tail curling up and over my legs. I pulled her in just as tight, and close, wrapping her around me and I around her, breathing in her sweet scent and feeling the soft warmth of her body.

“I love you, so much, Pinkie.”

I felt her smile against my cheek, and felt the soft, warm peck of her lips against it as she gave me a little kiss at the corner of my mouth.

“I love you, too, Fyren.”

I was so happy.

So at peace.

A shame it wasn’t meant to last.

“Building a construct is like building a castle. If you want something to look nice, a moment’s thought is all it takes, but under any sort of pressure it will crack without hesitation. Titan’s belief that he is within his own dream, and is in full control of all that he sees, allows him to build constructs that are nigh indestructible. To build something that can stand up to that . . . it will take a magnitude of effort that even I would find difficult. Are you sure of this, Fyren?”

Princess Luna allowed her voice to trail away, echoing through the stillness of the artificial night that surrounded her and the human. She felt guilt for having to pull Fyren into this. The Dreamrealms were her responsibility, and she should have been able to deal with any threat that presented itself within them. But this ‘Titan’ was something she could not have foreseen: A human wielding the powers of an excitivit somnum, and with such fluidity . . . it boggled the mind.

She had felt pressured and, in her frustration and panic, she had felt this strange tug on her dreams, a mind unlike any pony’s she had ever felt, and it had been longing . . .pining for her own lands. She had followed the feeling through the Dreamrealms until she found herself in Fyren’s mind, and, in a moment of weakness that she still felt guilty over, she had drug him into this. Still, she had learned her lesson with the Tantabus, that sometimes, one must needs accept the help of others, in order to defeat their enemies.

And, Fyren seemed to be having a ridiculous amount of fun with all of this, anyway.

Even now, with the look of worry on his face, worry for the ponies of Equestria, her friends and his, she could the light glinting in his hazel eyes, beneath the lenses of his spectacles. He was loving this.

He nodded, slowly, and glanced at her. “I have to, Princess. I have to be able to fight him, or we’ll never beat him.”

He let out a slow sigh, and shrugged. “And . . . I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t wanting a bit of payback for all that he’s done.”

“Vengeance is not wrong, of itself, Fyren, but it must never be the thing that guides you above all.”

“I know, Princess Luna. For me, I just want my friends to be safe. Revenge is just a side order.” He said, smirking slightly.

“Very well, Fyren. If you wish to create a construct, then it must be done correctly. It needs to be strong, yet flexible, powerful, yet giving in just the right ways to withstand the force of his will.”

A strange smile tilted up the corners of the human’s mouth as he looked sideways at her. “I’d almost say you know what I have in mind, Princess.”

She tilted her head at him, quirking an eyebrow. “I do not.”

“Well . . . how do I make it, then?”

“It must be layered.”

“Ah, like an onion.”

“Er . . . yeeess?” She tilted her head in question and he shook his head with a snicker.

“Nothing, go on.”

“It must be layered, and the more layers you can stack on to it, the better. The more complicated such a thing is, the more difficult it will be for his will, his belief to crack it. Therefore, as you can probably guess, it must be something that you know well, something that you can build from scratch.”

He was quiet for a long time, looking up and glancing around her small island Dreamscape, before he looked at her and nodded. “I understand. I might need some help, if you can give it, Princess.”

She bowed her head, feeling that she owed him far more than even he would ever know, for all that he had done for her. “Whatever I can, I will, Sir Fyren.”

He smiled and then sat, shuffling his weight around until he was comfortable, sitting with his legs crossed, his hands resting gently on his knees. He calmed his breathing, letting his eyes flutter shut, and she watched him drift into meditation. She watched as his brow furrowed slightly, his mind focusing on something. She stepped forward, leaning her head down to lightly touch her horn to his forehead, and she gave him a small boost.

As she did, she caught feelings, thoughts, small flickers of ideas that passed through his mind. He was weighing something out, measuring things . . . things of iron, and of wood. . . . Was that . . . leather?!

After several moments, she stepped back, hissing in a small breath as he gasped, his eyes opening, and he rubbed his palms into them, groaning.

“Well, that felt like getting skull raped by a death metal band.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Did it work?” He asked, looking around, and she followed his gaze, and felt herself frown.

“I am uncertain, Fyren. What, might I ask, is all this?” She asked, stepping forward and nosing a pile of apparently random objects. There were twelve small bars of metal, iron, and three bars of gold, a piece of wood, and a scrap of . . . yes, indeed, that was leather.

“What is it all for? ANd how is this going to help us defeat Titan?” She asked, looking at him uncertainly.

He smiled up at her. “Well, I guess you’ll see, won’t you?”

She snorted, but sat down, watching with mildly curiosity, which turned into awe over the next minutes. Fyren settled himself once more, eyes drifting shut as his breathing calm. Almost immediately, she watched as the objects on the ground began to stir. The twelve bars of iron, although, perhaps steel would have been a better guess, lifted up and began to spin around an axis, as though caught in a tornado. As she watched, they began to glow, and she could feel the heat washing off of them. As they spun, she saw something within their glow, a flickering light of prismatic origin, a rainbow flame that smelted the metal ore within.

The light was nearly blinding by this point, and she had turned away, shielding her eyes with her wings. As it died down, she turned, looking back, and saw a blade, it’s tang still exposed, nearly four feet of steel, glinting dully in the moonlight. The light caught a pattern in the blade, like the breath of a serpent, and it shone like a rainbow.

As she watched, the blade came to rest on the ground and Fyren opened his eyes, gasping for breath. He shuddered and wavered where he sat, and she rose, moving over to him and fanned him with her wings, watching the sweat run off his body. He glanced at her, smiling in thanks and sat for a long moment, letting himself relax.

Then, with a nod, he sent her back to her seat and settled himself into meditation once more. This time, the gold bars lifted, and they were treated the same way. In spite of having less material to work with, though, this one took longer, and she saw why when he was finished. Her eyes beheld a beautifully adorned wheel pommel and guard, the former inset with a purple gemstone in the shape of the Element of Magic, and the latter engraved with lovely designs and old Ponish runes.

Once more, he sat them aside and came out of his meditation. This time he nearly fell over, had she not caught him in her magic. She moved up beside him, cradling him with her wing as his chest heaved, and he coughed, his body racked by the heavy expulsions as he fought to catch his breath.

“You should rest, Fyren!” She stated, looking at him with concern. She saw his brow knit, saw him want to heed her advice, to turn into her embrace and drift away to sleep. He almost did, as well, but then his eyes opened and he growled under his breath, pushing himself back up and gently shoving her away.

“I’ll rest when this is over.”

With that, he put himself back into meditation, and she saw the wood and the leather lift off the ground. They spun about, a flickering light show of rainbows surrounding them, until after a few moments, he had formed them together into a fine, slender grip. But he wasn’t yet done. As she looked on, the blade, guard and pommel all lifted into the air, aligning themselves. The guard slid down over the tang, coming to rest wit ha snug, tight clink on the blade’s shoulder. The grip followed, squeezing down over the steel until it was snugged up flush with the guard, and the pommel completed it all. The golden wheel slid down over the end of the tang, coming to rest with about an inch of the slender piece of steel sticking up out of the top of it. As she watched, the piece began to glow with heat, until it was red hot and vaguely prismatic, and then it smoothly began to melt, until it had flattened itself perfectly against the top of the pommel, firmly peening it in place.

As he finished, his eyes flickered open, and the sword fell from the sky, even as he toppled forward. She caught him in her wing and the sword in her magic, and gently lay them both down, with his head pillowed on her flank. His breathing was deep and ragged, and yet, he still tried to push himself up.

“Shh, Fyren. We cannot do anything until Pinkie Pie returns, anyway. Sleep, now. A true, restful sleep. You will need your energy.”

She watched him fight for a moment, want to argue, but it died away from his face as he sank into the comfort of her warmth. She saw him surrender to sleep, true sleep, and knew that he would be that way until awoken.

She lifted the weapon he had forged in her magic and looked at it, turning it this way and that in the light and marveling at it’s design. She had never seen anything so beautiful in all her days, and that was truly saying something. The way the pattern in the blade caught the light, and glinted ever so faintly of rainbows . . . it was stunning. She looked down at the human asleep against her flank, and found herself wondering, not for the first time, where he would go, in the future, and what he would do.

The only thing she knew for sure, in that moment: Titan wouldn’t stand a chance.

The Sword vibrated in my hand, magic coursing through it, sending waves of Rainbow coloured light flickering down the blade, dancing over the pattern in the dreamsteel. I raised my hand, lifting my visor and glaring at the goat who stood across from me, his eyes burning with rage and hate.

“Alright, Grogar! Give up! It doesn’t have to end bad, if you don’t let it! Your team has already made peace with that, you’re alone. Surrender!”

“Never!” The demonic goat roared, his bell glowing as he prepared a spell to end me.

But I slammed my visor down and lifted the sword high above my head. A particoloured lightning bolt struck it, illuminating the room in a bright flash as Harmonic Magic filled the room, the magic of Friendship, my magic, gifted to me by the Tree of Harmony, and the stones on my breastplate, symbols of the broken Elements of Harmony.

“I HAVE THE POOOWWEEEEEEERRRR!!!” I roared as he unleashed his spell, a flickering bolt of death aimed right at my heart, hurtling towards me at the speed of light.

With a step I slashed my glittering blade through the air, slashing the bolt of dark magic in twain, before leaping into the air, my cloak billowing behind me as I came down, roaring at the top of my lungs. He screamed his denial to the heavens as I came down, my sword biting deep into his bell, severing it and, in turn, his connection to this world. . . .

“ . . . and that, ladies, is how I, the Human In Equestria, Knight of Harmony, Fyren Lokieidr, defeated Grogar the Terrible!” I exclaimed, flexing my muscles as the quartet of mares around me fawned.

“I think there was a bit more to it than that, Fyre.” A cracking voice said, and I looked around to see Dash hovering nearby, one eyebrow quirked.

“Well, of course!” I said, grinning. “I could never have done it without my fearless sidekick, Rainbow Dash!”

“Sidekick?!” She exclaimed, and I grinned.

“Of course, every hero has to have a sidekick!” I said, chuckling at her, before breaking away from the clinging hooves of my admirers. “Ladies! I promise you, Rainbow Dash here was invaluable in my defeat of the vile monster! Seriously, could not have done it without her. You remember, what I told all of you!”

“What? What did you tell them, Fyre?!” Dashie snapped, glaring at me as I backed away towards the refreshments table. Even as she did, though, the quartet of lovely mares had surrounded her, all of them looking at her with adoration in their eyes. Rainbow stopped, looking around at them, before one of them stepped forward and put her hooves on Dashie’s withers.

“You are so brave!” She said, before kissing Dashie full on the mouth. The cerulean pegasus’ eyes went wide, and she glanced at me, and I winked at her. She then looked back to the mare kissing her, before suddenly wrapping her hooves around her and twisting, dipping her low over the floor, looking into her eyes with a wink, before deepening the kiss.

I chuckled, shaking my head, and turned to the refreshments table, picking up a cup to get myself some punch. It had been forty-eight hours since the defeat of Grogar, and Equestria was still reeling, but it was okay. Better than okay, really. Two of the worst villains we’d ever fought were dead and gone, and the other three, well . . .

I glanced over, across the ballroom of Twilight’s castle where the celebrations were being held, to see Cozy Glow standing awkwardly with the CMC, who were trying to show her how to play pin the tail on the donkey, then over to Tirek, who was sitting and playing chess with Discord, and lastly, Chrysalis. The former Queen of the Changelings was looking . . . revitalized. Maybe it was all the love in the room, maybe it was the five other Changelings around her, or maybe it was her recent transformation . . . She looked very different, yet somehow still the same, esepcially her hair. Even though the rest of her was now solid, and coloured in soft shades of green, her hair was the same as it ever was. She was clearly nervous, and still uncertain, and she had not left Thorax’s side all night, showing her trust in the King that had taken her in, after all she had done to him and the rest of her own kind.

I watched, sipping my punch as Starlight Glimmer, followed by Trixie walked up to the pair. Thorax greeted Starlight warmly, before looking to Chrysalis. The Ex-Queen stood stiffly for a moment, before her face twisted oddly, into something resembling a smile. It was awkward and painful to watch, but there was some warmth in her eyes, at least, and Glimmy responded in kind. It wasn’t going to be perfect immediately, but it was a start. A start for real peace in this universe.

My universe.

My World.

“You mean our world, right, Fyrie?”

The voice from my right was high pitched, hyper-active, some might have called it grating, or annoying. I called it lovely. I turned and smiled at Pinkie Pie, who trotted up to me and rose to her hind legs, wrapping her forelegs around me in a hug, before kissing me deeply on the mouth. Once the kiss was broken she leaned up against the table and smiled.

“So, this looks like a happy ending, right?”

I glanced at her ,tilting my head. “Ending?”

“Well . . . Fyren, we both felt it . . . something coming from the other side of the Ether. Something that kept getting closer and closer . . . Until now. Now it’s gone. We fought the biggest, baddest meanie of all big, bad meanies and won! So . . . “

She paused, looking off into the distance. This was all very out of character for her, and I put my hand on her withers, drawing her glance to me, and she smiled, but it looked a bit fragile.

“Ponks . . . I don’t know what the future holds for us . . . And I don’t care. The author can write what he wants, but I will never leave you. I love you, and you know it.”

Her smile grew wider and warmer, and she wrapped me in a hug again, which I returned, tight for tight.

“I love you, too, Fyrie.” She said, softly, and I kissed her softly, right under the ear like she liked.

“I’ll cross worlds, for you, Pinkamena.” I said, softly, soothingly into her ear, and she nuzzled me, kissing the side of my mouth, softly.

“C’mon, Fyrie! Let’s blow this popsicle stand!”

“What’s this? You wanting to leave a party?”

“I think they’ve all got the celebrations under control, and i have an idea for a little party of our own . . . one that I think we’ll both enjoy, sooo much more.” She said, with a saucy grin and a wink.

With a grin on my face and a song in my heart, I picked her up and carried her to the stairs leading up to our room. This was the best night of a wonderful life. . . .

Too bad it was all about to end.

Somewhere, far away yet right next door, in the space between spaces and the cracks in the panes of the universe, in that strange place called the Ether, the glue that binds and holds the multiverse together, something moved.

It moved away from a screen that was a mirror, that was a window, that looked out into the world of Equestria. Not the only world of Equestria, but rather one of many. One created by one fan’s dreams and love. One that, like all of the others, was about to be tested.

One which, like many others, would be tested, and found wanting.

That which moved stepped back with a low sigh, before stepping through a wall that was not there, and disappearing into the nothing that is everything.

I knocked on the doorframe as I stuck my head through. “Twiggles, you in here?” I asked, and the purple alicorn shot her head up from where she was sitting at her desk, fretting over a mountain of paperwork.

“Fyren! What’s up? Sorry, I can’t really talk right now, super, SUPER busy!” She said, a bit too fast, before turning her eyes back to the lovely mound of bureaucracy that sat in front of her. Sighing, I walked over to her and laid my hands on her withers, just above her wings, and behind her neck, and started to slowly roll my thumbs into the knots of stress that were built up there.

“Fyre, I really don’t have tii-iii-iioohhhh.” She melted mid-speech into the massage, wings slowly starting to open up and rest on the arms of her chair. As I worked I bent over, seeing, to no surprise, that most of the paperwork had to do with the upcoming coronation ceremony. Two more days, and this adorkable purple princess would be a queen. The Queen, ruler of all of Equestria. It was mind-boggling.

“You need to talk, Twi?” I asked, as my hands slowly came to a stop, leaving her sitting there for a moment, breathing deep and calm. After a moment, she slowly roused and looked up at me, before swallowing. She thought for a moment, her eyes moving back and forth, before she nodded to me, and I sat on the edge of her desk, moving some papers aside so I could.

She sat for a long moment, still, thinking, before glancing up at me. “Do you think I’m ready for this, Fyre?”

I put my hand over her hoof, smiling softly into her eyes. “I think nopony, nocreature could be more ready for this.”

“But- But what if something goes wrong? What if-”

“What if? What if . . . What if I trip and break my ankle going downstairs? What if I go blind? What if I die going outside? What if the world ended tomorrow?” She frowned at me, and I squeezed her hoof for a moment, before smiling softly. “Life is uncertainty, Twily. It’s a fragile thing, lost with a careless slip. To be cherished, and held close, but not smothered. A life lived in fear, is not a life lived to it’s fullest. Anything could happen, Twilight. That’s why you have friends. To catch you, when you fall, and help you get back up.”

She looked at me for a long moment, before a soft smile caressed her face, and she leaned over and gave me a soft, heartfelt kiss, before drawing away. “You know, Fyren, you’ve got a lot more wisdom than one would think.”

I frowned and looked away, eyes narrowed in thought. “Not sure if compliment or insult. . . “

She giggled and pulled me over into a hug with one wing. “It was a compliment!”

I laughed and held her closely for a moment, before slipping off the edge of the desk and smiling at her, rubbing her ears softly. “You know something . . . .”

“What?”

“I love you.”

“Fyren!”

“What? It’s true.”

“But, Pinkie-”

“Pinkie already knows how I feel. How I feel about all of you.”

“All of us?” She asked, looking up at me with confusion.

“Yeah. You, her, Flutters and Dashie, Rares and AJ. And Starlight, Trixie . . . The princesses, and of course Spike. . . . You’re all . . . Special, to me.”

“Fyren.”

“No, I mean it! You’re . . . You’re my family. You gave me a home, gave me friendship, and more.” I said, stroking the side of her face, and she blushed, putting a hoof over my hand.

“Oh, Fyren. Have you told the others?”

I sighed, slowly drawing my hand away, and shook my head, wordlessly. She leaned over and kissed my cheek, then my mouth, softly. “I love you, too, you know? I wasn’t expecting you to be so . . . so perfect of a match to me, when you showed up. But your love of books, of learning, the way you wanted to gather up all the knowledge that you could . . . It was like I’d found a match.”

“Heh, I’m glad you swiped right.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Thank you, Twily.” I said, leaning in and kissing her again. After a moment, the kiss broke and I drew away, clearing my throat.

“You should tell the others.” She said, and I looked at her.

“You think so?”

“I do. Don’t keep something like this from them. They deserve to know.”

“Hm. That’s what Pinkie said.”

“She’s smarter than she acts.”

I grinned, glancing up at her, “right after she suggested an orgy with all of you.” She started choking, and I slapped her back, laughing. After a moment, when she’d calmed down and I was standing beside her, I tipped her chin up with my hand, looking her in the eyes. “I mean it, Twi. Thank you, so much, for everything.”

She smiled up at me and squeezed my hand with her hoof, nodding. “You are very welcome, Fyren.”

I nodded and turned, heading out the door, turning and smiling at her once more, before I headed out on a mission. To find the other ponies, and creatures, that were important to me, and let them know just how much.

I stood across the stream, leaning up against a tree, a willow, one of many that grew along this stretch of water that ran out of the Everfree Forest to the South. I was looking across the stream to the little cottage that sat, nestled peacefully under the boughs of another morose looking tree. Birds flitted about, singing softly, and other animals milled around, looking content and relaxed.

I chewed my lip, thinking. The last time I had been here, things had been . . . awkward, to say the least. Thanks in no small part to my Other Half, my wannabe author doppelganger, who had decided to write Flutters as a sex starved sloot. And then Discord showed up, trying to urge me to rut the demure pony, and that had not been on the part of the author, but rather his own screwed up idea of trying to help. When I refused, he had nearly killed me, at the tendrils of an eldritch horror from video game land. If Pinkie hadn’t shown up, I’d be dead, now.

But, you all know that, by now, I’m sure.

Now, I was trying to figure out what to say to the mare, to let her know that I was sorry for what my double had done, and that I loved her, as much as I did any of the rest of Six. But my own insecurities and demons were getting the better of me. I mean, how could I have this conversation? Where would I even start?

“Oh, please, just go tell her!”

I jumped out of my thoughts at the sound of the cultured, mischievous voice speaking from my left. I spun, and found myself facing Discord, who was leaning up against a tree of his own, a tree which was now sprouting purple, polka-dot jelly beans, which he was picking off and eating one by one.

“Gah!” I yelped, and cringed back into the willow tree as though to sink through it.

“Oh, well, hello there to you, too.” He said, lifting an eyebrow, popping a jelly bean into his mouth before holding one out in his eagle claw. “Want one?”

I looked from the candy, and back up to him. “W-What do you want?!”

He stared at me for a moment, then rolled his eyes and popped the bean into his mouth. “I just told you! Go in there and tell her how much she means to you!”

“What?! I’m sorry, is this gonna be another situation like last time?! I am not doing that crap again!”

“No, no, I’ve nothing up my sleeves, nor any malicious intention! Promise!”

“Then why would you want me to go in there and tell her that I love her?”

“Because it would make her happy.” He said, eyes gone serious, and I froze, looking up at him, as he continued. “Nothing makes her happier than to know that she’s made a difference in others’ lives. And, right now . . . Look, she needs to hear it, before . . . “ He looked away, off at the little cottage, and blinked, and for a moment I thought I saw a tear glittering in his eye.

“Before what, Discord?” I asked, stepping away from the tree, looking at him closely.

He looked back at me, and stared for a long moment, frowning, before he let out a small, short laugh. “Ha! For all your power in the Ether . . . you’re still so young. You’ve felt it, but you don’t know what it means, yet, do you?”

“What, Discord?!” I asked, sharply, my heart pounding in my chest and my breath short.

He stared at me, still, silent for a long second. “You don’t need to worry about that. You just need to go tell Fluttershy how much she means to you, trust me.” With that, he snapped his claws and before I could react, he was gone in a flash of light and the sound of displaced air filling the vacuum that he had just inhabited.

I stood, staring at where he had been for moment, before looking over to Flutters’ cottage, and swallowing. With that, I girded myself, and made for the door. My shoes lifted small puffs of dust up from the dirt path leading to her door, and they scraped on her step as I stopped, swallowing past the lump that refused to leave my throat. I raised my hand and hesitated once more, before bringing my hand down to knock softly on the door.

A moment passed that lasted an eternity, and the door opened, revealing her soft, gentle butter yellow features, framed by a lovely pink mane, and those large turquoise eyes looking up at me with a smile. A smile which faltered slightly when she registered who it was. Faltered, but did not die.

“Oh, Fyren, it’s you. I wasn’t expecting you . . . o-or anypony else, really, um . . . what . . . .”

“I’m sorry, Fluttershy, for coming over unannounced, but . . . I need to talk to you. Can I . . . come in?”

She hesitated for a moment, which sent a little spike through my heart, before she stepped back, opening the door with a small, fragile smile. “Of course, Fyren. Come inside.”

A few moments later, I was sitting on one of the chairs in her living room, looking down into the cup of tea she had hoofed to me, as a way of avoiding having to look up and meet her eyes. Now that I was sitting here, I was frozen, unsure of how to move on, or of what to say. I didn’t want to upset her, and I wasn’t sure I trusted Discord when he said it would make her happy. He had seemed sincere, but he was a Trickster, of course he would. . . .

“Fyren?”

I looked up at her soft voice and met her eyes, so deep and full of a rich gentleness, a love of all the life around her, and a willingness to aid those in need, no matter what their troubles. She was beautiful, always had been, and always would be.

“I love you.” I said, softly, without really thinking, and I saw her blink and draw her head back, eyes a bit wide.

“Fyren, I . . . I don’t-”

“It’s okay. Just, listen. When I first came here . . . you’re the one who found me. Took me in, gave me shelter and helped me calm down. You’ve looked after me, held me when I was freaking out, nursed me when I got hurt, and . . . And I’m sorry. Sorry that you got . . . got caught up in the Author’s little story. That he twisted your personality, and then you got hurt fighting Titan! I am . . so sorry, Fluttershy! I never wanted you to get hurt, in any way!”

By the time I was done speaking, I was in tears, and I finally cracked and buried my face in my hands, my shoulders shaking with grief and sorrow. Not a second later, I felt her wing around my shoulders, and her hoof on my hands. I opened my eyes and watched as she settled beside me, a gentle, sad smile on her face as she drew me in to her embrace. After a moment, I caved in and put my arms around, weeping into her chest fluff as she held me.

A while later, as my sobs had calmed to shaky, deep breaths, she spoke, voice calm and gentle, yet strong and confident. “Fyren, it is not your fault, what your other half did, nor do I hold it against him. As for Titan, I knew it was dangerous when I agreed to fight him. But, he was a danger to myself and my friends. I could not simply stand by and do nothing, you know that.” She tilted my face up with her hoof, and her wingtip slipped in, wiping my tears away, before she moved forward and kissed me, softly and gently on the mouth, a chaste meeting of lips for a moment, before she drew back and looked me in the eyes.

“And . . . I love you, too, Fyren.”

I spent the next few hours there, just talking, drinking tea and getting everything off of my chest. I went home to the castle later, feeling like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders, as I climbed into bed. I was making everything right, and all was going to be perfect in my world.

The next morning found me sitting beneath the boughs of a very specific tree in Ponyville park, the light of the morning sun warming my face as I sat and thought back, remember over a year ago, sitting in this same spot, under this same tree, with a certain blue pegasus. . . . .

Her cute, pouting lips parted, a small gasp of breath slipping between them as she drew in to speak.

". . . . Whut?"

"I said 'I wanna rut Pinkie Pie senseless.'" I repeated myself, leaning back against the side of the tree in Ponyville Park, looking over into the cyan visage of the bemused pegasus beside me.

"And I don't mean just, like, 'senseless', senseless. I mean like, 'drooling, crosseyed, cum-drenched mess on the floor,' kinda senseless."

Another slow blink, and then she stammered a bit. "Uuhhhhh, wh-, er. . . I . . . seeeee." She blinked a few more times, then shook her head, as though clearing it, and reached up, rubbing at her face with a dainty hoof. "Right. And, why, exactly, are you telling me this?"

. . . . That conversation led into some strange things I never would have expected to happen. It had led to sexual encounters, which led to panic, then to fear, then to loss, and then rebirth. It had led me to become who I was now, led me to find the place I felt most at home, and that I would die to protect. Those I loved, those I had found that I never knew I needed until I found myself here in this strange world, far from home.

Home. The word's meaning had changed, since I came here. Once something distant, a memory of childhood, lost somewhere along the way, just out of reach for most of my teenage and adult years. I found it again, once I came here. A place I felt at peace in, welcomed and accepted. People I loved, and would do anything for. This was where I belonged, more than any other.

I was drawn from my introspection by the sound of strong wings on the wind, and four fair hooves making a landing. I looked over to see Rainbow Dash making her way to me, flipping her tousled, windswept mane out of her face with a toss of her head. I smiled as I watched her trot up, and she grinned back.

"Hey, Fyre! What's up? Fluttershy said you wanted me to meet you here."

I stepped forward, knelt down and pulled her into a hug, and felt her go stiff a bit, before wrapping her wings around me hesitantly.

"Uhhh, okaaaay. What's goin' on, Fyre? You okay, buddy?" She asked, concern in her voice, and I chuckled, drawing back to look her in the eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay, Dashie. In fact, I'm more than okay. I'm happier than I've been in . . . a long, long time." I stepped back and sat back down, and she walked over and sat with me. She looked at me, tilting her head, and I continued.

"It's been a year, now . . . more, actually, since you and I were sitting under this tree, and I asked for your help with Pinkie . . . So much has happened, since."

"Huh. I didn't realize it had been that long." She said, blinking in surprise as she looked down at her hooves, eyes gone a bit distant.

"I know, right? It seems like just yesterday . . . Like, if I could see over the horizon, it would just be there, on the other side. . . "

"You're going all poet-y, Fyre, you sure you're okay?"

I grinned, laughing, and looked over at her, reaching out and putting my hand on her cheek. "Yeah, I'm fine, Dashie. I just wanted to say, thank you, for helping me, all those months ago. Thank you, and . . . I love you."

"Whoa, whoa!" She said, stepping away, eyes gone wide. 'Dude! I've said before, I get it if you wanna taste the Rainbow, but you're not my type!"

"Dashie, calm down! I said I love you, not that I wanna fuck you." I said, laughing, and she blinked, looking confused. "Sex and love aren't the same thing, Dashie. Love doesn't even have to be in a romantic way. It can be familial, like siblings . . . but it's still love. And I love you, Dashie. You and the rest, you mean the world to me, literally, and I would cross the highest mountains and crawl through the fiery depths of Tartarus itself for all of you."

She watched me for a long moment, her posture slowly relaxing, her eyes beginning to shine, and before I was done she was smiling softly at me. "Thanks, Fyre," she said, "That means a lot. I've always felt it, from you . . . that you'd be loyal to the core, to the ones that meant something to you. And, I'd do the same for you, trust me." She said, nodding, and I tilted my head.

"So . . . What you're saying is. . . . "

She shot me a glare, lips pursed. "Don't push your luck!"

"Aw, c'mon, Dashie, would it really hurt?"

She gurmbled looking away, and I reached out, pulling her unwillingly into another hug, which, after a moment of fake struggling, she relented and returned, squeezing me tightly. I heard her sigh softly, and chuckle, before speaking.

"Yeah . . . I love you, too, ya idiot."

After a moment, she pulled away from the hug, an odd look on her face, and I quirked an eyebrow. "What's up, Dashie?"

She pursed her lips and cleared her throat, looking away, and I swore I saw a blush on her face. "Hey, you wanna go to the Hayburger? I need to talk to you. . . "

"Well, I'll never turn down the Hayburger, but why can't you talk here?" I looked around at the mostly deserted park. "I doubt the Hayburger's more private."

"Look, Fyre, this is awkward and I need time to think about how to put it. . . ." She said, glaring at me.

I shrugged and smiled. "Okay, then, Dashie. Lead the way!"

I looked around as Dashie and I walked down the street in central Ponyville, ponies bustling back and forth, this way and that, doing their shopping and other errands. Noticing my distraction, Dash stopped, hovering in the air like a giant, cyan hummingbird. "What's up, Fyre?"

"I dunno . . . that walk just seemed to take an inordinately long time. . . . "

"Really? I didn't notice. Maybe you're just imaging things."

"Heh. Yeah, maybe." I said, unconvinced, and found myself wondering what the Author might be up to. . . .

As I turned to continue following Rainbow down the street, I nearly ran face first into Derpy Hooves. The grey pegasus mare had been bedridden for several weeks after the battle with Titan, but now she looked as healthy as ever. Well, that said, she was looking a bit harried, right now. She had saddlebags on which were bulging with items, and she had some kind of metallic coils, like something from Frankenstein's lab, thrown over her back.

"Hay, there, Ms. Derpy," I said, smiling at her, “what's the rush?” She shook her head, her eyes taking a moment to focus on me, before a smile lit up her face.

"Oh! Fyren! Hi, how are you?" She said, before blinking at my question, a tad belatedly. "Rush? Oh . . . Oh! Oh, er . . . nothing! Just . . . running some errands for Doc."

"Doc . . . you mean Time Turner? What's he need all this stuff for?"

"Nothing! Uh, I gotta go! I'll see you later, Fyren!" She said, before darting off into the air and making a beeline for the clock tower.

"Huh." I said, softly, before Dashie's impatient gesturing caught my eye, and I jogged to catch up with her.

We rounded the corner and the Hayburger lay before us, it's long form somehow reminiscent of old style '50s diners, back on Earth Prime, a sign up on the thatch roof displaying it's name and some images of soda and it's titular food.

It was sometimes difficult, being a human in Equestria, given my distinct inability to digest hay in any form. Fortunately, though, there were plenty of other types of food to be had, and now that relations with Griffinstone and Mount Aris were looking up, there were even some carnivorous options on the menu. When we walked in, the smell of alfalfa assaulted my nose, along with another, much nicer smell, that of grilled salmon.

We found our way to a table in the back, and after a moment, a waitress popped over. Dashie ordered a large hayburger, an order of hayfries and a soda, and I got a grilled salmon sandwich with lettuce and tomato and a soda of my own, root beer, specifically. We didn't have to wait long before our orders were up, but by then I was still wondering if the pegasus was ever going to come out with what was on her mind.

Dashie took a drink of her soda, a rather long one, avoiding my eyes, and then immediately turned and dug into her burger. I sighed softly and took a bite of my sandwich, my eyes locked on her polychromatic head. After a moment, she slowly stopped chewing and rolled her big, garnet eyes up to look at me. We stared at each other for a long, silent moment, and I slowly quirked an eyebrow. Applejack would’ve been proud.

She swallowed and, never breaking eye contact, reached out with one wing, picking up her cup and brought it over, taking the straw in her mouth as my eye began to twitch slightly. With a noisy slurp, she took a long, slow drink of her soda, and that was that. I sat my sandwich down and tilted my head at her, glaring, and she leaned back, straw coming out of her mouth.

“Dude, what?!” She asked.

“What?! What you mean, ‘what’?! You brought me here to tell me something, Dashie, so spit it out already!”

“Jeez, dude, chillax! I’m just, you know . . . hungry?” She said, not very convincingly, and my eyebrow went up again. With a grumbling sigh, she sat her cup down and pushed her plate away, glaring at me. “Fine! You win!”

With that she sat there, continuing to grumble under her breath for a moment, before I finally leaned forward across the table and booped her snoot. Her head jerked back, her nose scrunched up, and her eyes crossed, before she looked at me as though I had just run through the schoolhouse naked.

“Don’t ever do that again.” She said, softly, and I swallowed.

“Deal . . . if you’ll hurry the buck up and tell me what you brought me here to tell me!”

She narrowed her eyes, and then, much to my eternal joy, and her eternal embarrassment, a blush crawled up her cheeks. Her face turned so purple I thought she’d pass out, and it dawned on me I’d only ever seen her blush like that once before. . . .

“You were right.” She said, softly, and I blinked, tilting my head.

“About?”

She groaned, looking around, and then leaned forward, not making eye contact. “About me . . . and, uh . . . and Applejack. . . . .”

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that, come again?”

“Applejack!” She snapped, then looked around, eyes wide.

“Uh-huh. What about her?”

“You know!”

“. . . . “

She glared at me, and I remained stubbornly silent. I did know, of course, but I wanted to hear the pegasus say it.

She grumbled, and finally picked up one of her hayfries with a wing and, using her nimble primaries, flicked it at my face, making me flinch.

“Ha! Gotcha!”

“Dashie. . . . “

“Ugh, fiiine! I am . . ., uh, like . . . . I, er . . . like AJ. . . .”

“You like her.”

“Yeah! A, uh . . . A lot.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Ah, buck it . . . I’m in love with her, Fyre! There, are you happy?”

“Very.” I said, smugly, picking up my sandwich and taking another bite of flaky, grilled goodness.

“Yeah, well, F . . . Buck you, then.” She said, shooting a look at a group of foals eating a few booths over, before shooting me a glare and mouthing ‘asshole’. I grinned like the trolliest of trolls, and took another bite, before washing it down with my soda.

“So,” I said after swallowing my drink, “was that all you brought me here to tell me? Something I already knew? Cuz, I’m happy for the confirmation, Dashie, but I really think that could’ve been said at the park.”

“No, dork, that is not all I brought you here to say!” She said, taking an angry bite of her burger, while I sat back, waiting for her to finish with an expectant look on my face. She chewed, angrily, swallowed, angrily, and then took a drink . . . angrily.

I was getting the feeling she was a bit peeved at me, pardon my language.

She set her cup down a bit hard and glared at me, before blowing out a breath, her blush still standing out against her fur and looking away. “Look, Fyre, I need your help. . . .”

I put a hand up beside my ear and leaned in. “Eh? What’s that?”

She looked at me, deadpan, and narrowed her eyes. “I said ‘I. Need. Your. Help.’ You wanna keep bein’ an annoying little shit, or do I need to get mad?” She blinked, and snapped her eyes over towards the table of school kids, who were all looking at her and giggling under their breath. She ground her teeth and put her face in her hooves, groaning.

I could have kept being a trollish little dick, true, and it was quite entertaining. But I could also tell that she was really struggling with this, and I knew that it was quite a leap from where she’d been last year, so, taking a breath, I reached out and put a hand on her wither. “Dashie. . . . “

She looked up at me, eyes hard from behind her blush, and I smiled. “Of course I’ll help. After all, I owe you one, for helping me with Pinkie.”

I watched her visibly relax, the tension leaving her body as she sighed, and a small smile turned up the corners of her mouth, before she suddenly became very serious. “You better not tell anypony about this, dude, or I swear, I’ll-”

“It’s cool, Dash, I won’t say a word, promise.” I said, lifting my right hand and putting my left over my heart, and she stared at me, hard, for a moment or two, then blew out a breath and nodded, looking down at her food, toying with it, with a wing.

“Thanks, Fyre . . . So . . . “

“Yeah . . . What do you need me to do?”

“Well . . . I dunno how to, like, ya know . . . tell her about this, ya know?” She asked, clearly nervous, and I nodded. She continued. “I’m just worried she’ll, I dunno, hate me or something. . . . “

I snorted. “Dashie, she’s not gonna hate you!”

“How do you know!? Her family’s like really traditional and country and junk, man, she could hate me forever for this!”

“Dashie, I highly doubt that.”

“Dude, just, ugh! Look! Talking about all this feelings stuff is awkward enough for me, okay?! I don’t know how to do this!”

“And you think I do?!”

“Better than me, yeah!”

. . . .

Did she just . . . ?

As though realizing what just came out of her mouth, her eyes went wide as saucers, and she glanced around sheepishly, especially towards the table with the fillies. They were all too busy staring at the cute waiter, though, to pay any attention. Whirling back to me, Dashie bared her teeth . . . which was just fuckin’ adorable. Not that I’d ever tell her that.

“Look, Fyre, you did not just hear me say that, capisce?”

“Capisce!” I said, making a gesture with my right hand like I’d just eaten a particularly spicy meatball.

After staring at me for a long moment, Dashie nodded slowly. “Riiiight. So, anyway! I need you to go talk to AJ for me.”

“Sooo . . . you want me to tell her how you feel? Not terribly romantic, Dashie.”

“Dude, shut up! Buck no, I don’t want that, and you know it!”

“Well, what then?!”

“I want you to go, like, I dunno . . . feel her out, or something. See how she . . . feels, about that sort of thing. . . . “

“Meaning lesbians.”

“Er, ah, uh . . . Y-Yeah, yeah . . . that.” She stammered, face flushed as purple as Twilight’s ass. “I’ll be waiting nearby, listening, so I’ll know what happens, just . . . not a word about me, or this conversation, alright?! You’re just . . . curious, got it?”

I stared at for a long moment, thinking that it was amazingly Twilight-y of her, to be stressing out over something that I was pretty sure wasn’t an issue, but whatever. A friend in need, and all that. “Sure thing, Dashie. I’ll help you out, you’ve got my word.” I said, smiling, and she grinned back at me, looking sheepish all over again.

After that, we turned back to our food, and dug in, and all felt right with the world.

And so I found myself walking through the trees of Sweet Apple Acres, Rainbow Dash flitting from tree to tree above me, like some super secret . . . spy . . . pony . . . person.

Anyway!

We had stopped by the farmhouse, earlier, or rather, I had stopped by, while the pegasus had hidden on the roof to eavesdrop. When Granny answered the door, I asked her if Applejack was home. After a moment of hesitation, she let me know that AJ was out in the old West Orchard. I had asked why she was out there, as I knew that those fields were mostly abandoned, to be used as a block against the Everfree. Granny had hesitated, and then had said, simply, that her granddaughter was “Visitin’”.

I had asked what she meant, but she wouldn’t add anything more, and instead tried to invite me in for supper, to wait until AJ got back. However, at Dashie’s hushed insistence from up above, I had declined, and then, harried by the cyan blur, headed off to the west.

The sun was shining close to noon above, it’s warmth beating down on my head and making the back of my neck itch with sweat, as I walked through the brush, in the old, abandoned field. It had grown up a lot, apple trees spreading their branches high above, the ground covered in long dead fruit, weeds, and young seedlings, most of which were destined to be strangled by the roots of the adult trees around them. If it weren’t for the fact that those adult trees were all neatly laid out in rows, one would have almost thought this was some old growth forest of wild apple trees.

“Now, remember! When we find her, you go talk to her, but not a word about me!”

“I know, Dash.” I said, for the fifth time since we got to the farm.

I pushed out through the bushes and stopped, blinking in sudden surprise. There before me lay a clearing, divided almost equally between apple and pear trees, and there, in the center, the sun shining through the boughs, was a great tree, or rather a pair of trees, apple and pear, intertwined from the roots up, like the trees in the tale of Tristan and Ysolde.

Lovers’ Trees.

And sitting in front of them, hat off and resting against her chest, an odd shimmer of moisture under her eyes, sat Applejack, the sun shining through her golden mane like a halo. I heard Rainbow Dash take a breath beside me, and glanced over, seeing her staring at AJ, an odd mixture of awe and sadness on her face. I turned back, and went to take a step out into the clearing.

Dash’s hoof against my chest stopped me, and I glanced at her. “Uh . . . Nevermind, Fyre. Let’s just . . . I dunno, go chill somewhere, okay?” I narrowed my eyes, seeing the trepidation in her eyes that she would never admit to. I smiled at her, confidently, and patted her withers where she hovered in the air before me.

“It’ll be okay, Dashie.” I said, nodding, and stepped past her. I heard her take a breath, but she didn’t speak up to stop me as I stepped reverently into the clearing. I wasn’t a fool, at least not totally, and I knew enough about the Apple family to know what this clearing was, and what it meant to them. I softly approached, stopping a few yards away from AJ, and cleared my throat softly. She jerked a bit, turning and looking at me for a moment, before turning away and, under the guise of donning her hat, wiped the mist from her eyes.

“Oh, uh, Fyren! Fancy seein’ you out here!” She said, turning back to me with a smile a few inches too wide and a touch too forced on her face. “In fact, uh . . . why are ya out here, anyway?”

I smiled back at her and nodded to the tree. “Do you mind if I join you, AJ?” I asked, softly, and she glanced back to the tree for a moment, before looking at me again, her smile more relaxed now, and warmer for it.

“Not at all, Fyren. Though, y’ain’t answered my question yet, ya know?”

I stepped forward and slowly sat on the ground, looking up at the tree, pursing my lips in thought. “I suppose I’m here to ask a question of my own . . . “ I looked at her, and bit my lip, before taking a breath and speaking up. “Tell me about your parents, AJ. I mean . . . The truth, of who they were to you.”

She went a bit stiff for a moment, turning and looking up at the tree, and I saw her eyes glisten once more, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. Or at least, I thought it did, but she turned her head away a moment later, and I could not be certain. When she looked back at me, she was wearing that comfortable smile again, though there was a far away look in her eye, now.

“What’s there t’ tell? They were my folks, Fyren. . . . “ She drifted off, and I let the silence descend, watching as she looked up to the tree again. I thought I saw two distinct flickers of light in her eyes, as though they reflected starlight in the middle of the day, but then it was gone.

“. . . I loved them, more’n I can say. And they loved us the same. They were the warmth of the sun on my back, the earth under my hooves. . . . The stars above . . . .” Tears welled in her eyes again as I watched, and she did not try to hide it this time as she silently wept. Without speaking, I moved over and put an arm around her, pulling her into me, and she put her face against my shoulder, shaking softly. I felt my throat choke up as I put my chin on her head, holding her close in her grief, a wound that had healed, but a scar that would never fade.

“Losing something so close to you . . . something that much a part of yourself, it’s not easy.” I said, quietly, distant as something picked at the back of my mind, like a little voice whispering at me, but I couldn’t quite make out what it said. I kept speaking without really thinking, just letting my thoughts flow out.

“But loss is a part of life, and if we lose that which we loved so much, it is never really gone, is it? It’s always a part of us, there in our memories, and our hearts, lighting the way and guiding us down the path of life. They’re always there, keeping the fires of hope alive in us, to remind us that . . . life isn’t over, just because it hurts, sometimes. . . . “

I drifted off, and a few moments later, AJ drew away from me, wiping her eyes and nose. She looked back at me as I wiped my own eyes, and a smile, full and genuine, crept on to her face. “Y’all could be a poet, if ya wanted to, I reckon.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Nah. No good at rhyming.” We both sat back, looking up at the tree with a new closeness, a warmth there between us.

“Oh, by the way. . . . “ I said, casually, a moment later.

“Hm?”

“Rainbow Dash wants to know if you’d like to go out with her.”

“Whut?”

“WHAT THE FUCK, FYRE!?” Dash squeak-sqounked, popping out of the trees and zipping over to me fast enough to send my hair flying in the draft off her wings. “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?”

“Dashie, think about this for a moment.”

“I fucking trusted you, dude!”

“Dash.”

“I trusted you, and this is what you do to me?!”

“Dash!”

“I just wanted you to feel her out, not go blurting it like that!”

“DASH!”

“WHAT?!”

“What Element does AJ represent?”

“ . . . “

“ . . . “

“Fuck you, Fyre.”

I smirked, as she pouted, and then AJ’s voice snapped us both back to reality. “Rainbow Dash! Is this true?”

Dashie suddenly blushed bright purple once again, and turned to look at AJ, with the most kawaii, sheepish look on her face I’d ever seen. “Uhh . . . M-Maybe?”

“The stutter was adorbs.”

Dash glared a dagger into my soul while still managing to look cute. I’m not sure which would kill me first, the blade to my heart, or said heart bursting into a billion pieces.

Applejack walked up and looked Rainbow in the eye, her face turning from hard to soft in a moment. “Ah, Sugarcube . . . I wish y’all had just told me yourself.”

“AJ, look, I understand . . . y-you’re really traditional, your whole family is, and this was a stupid idea, and I just wanted us to be together, but I’d rather us stay friends, so if it’s okay, I’ll just go an-Mmf!”

Dash was cut off by AJ stepping in and locking lips with her, and her garnet eyes went as wide as saucers, before drifting shut on a cloud of bliss as she sank into the kiss with her crush turned, so it seemed now, to girlfriend. I sat back, smirking.

“Ohhh, isn’t that just adorable!” I turned with a little jump to see Pinkie bouncing on her tail like it was a spring beside me.

Both of the mares in front of me jumped as well, separating while identical blushes spread over their faces. Pinkie sprung up and put a hoof around both of them, pulling them into a tight group hug, a huge grin splitting her face. “You two together are so cute!” She exclaimed. “One more thing to celebrate tonight!”

“Tonight?” AJ asked, looking askance at her.

“What’s happening tonight?” RD asked, frowning.

“Twilight’s Pre-Coronation Party-Slash-Farewell to Ponyville . . . duh!”

“Oh.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

I stood up, grinning to match my lovely mare. “Yep! It’s gonna be . . . one Tartarus of a send off.” I said, meeting Pinkie’s eyes, and I saw something in those deep blue orbs, like looking into the bottom of the clearest wishing wells in the world. Something sad, but happy, and full of hope and love.

I felt it mirrored in my own heart, and I finally understood.

I wasn’t sure what, but something was going to happen. Something big.

Something final.

The party was banging. No other word for it. DJ-Pon3 was jammin' from her booth, adding some glitz and glam to Coluratura's latest hit, and the crowd, literally everypony in Ponyville, andquite a few from everywhere else, danced, laughed and sang, and all the while Twily and the gang were sat right up front, Flutters often trying to duck down and hide behind the table, even as she had a grin spread over her face.

I was sitting next to Ponka, her head resting on my shoulder and my arm around her withers as AJ's old friend seranaded us with the beauty of her voice. Neither of us had spoken much, since we'd left Sweet Apple Acres with the whole Apple family following along behind, chatting excitedly about the new developement with Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Needless to say, that had been impossible to keep a secret, even without AJ stammering the minute she spotted Granny on the way back to the farmhouse.

I wasn't sure about Pinkie, but my mind had been drifting between that strange, ominous feeling from earlier, and the thoughts that kept springing forth into my mind, the memories of the last two years I had spent with these lovely ponies. I felt like it had, at once, been so much longer than that since I came here, and yet like it was only yesterday that I first met them all. I didn't fully understand why my thoughts kept drifting to such things, but I felt like . . .

I felt like I knew why, but I didn't want to think about it.

If I didn't think about it, it wouldn't be true. Right?

I was pulled out of my introspection by RaRa's voice speaking out to the crowd. ". . . to thank my oldest friend, Applejack, for inviting me here to perform for Princess Twilight and the rest of her friends. This is the greatest honor I could ask for, truly." She said, smiling, as she made a short curtsy to Twilight, and I didn't need to see her to know she was blushing. Thn, Coluratura looked back to the rest of us and grinned. "Now, I've heard that Ponyvilleans know how to sing . . . Let's see if you can prove that. Come on! Somepony join me on stage, and we'll see who'se got the best voice!"

"We should do it."

I looked down at Pinkie and frowned at her. "What?"

She was staring at the stage with an uncharacteristically sombre expression on her face, which lightened as she turned to me and grinned. "Come on, Fyrie! Let's go liven this party up!" She said, jumping up and grabbing me by the hand with her mane, dragging me along, out of my chair and towards the stage.

"Ponks, I don't think this is a great idea!"

"Sure it is, Fyrie!"

"I . . . I can't sing!"

"Oh, pooh, liar!"

"Pinkie. . . ."

She slowed to a stop at the sound of my voice, and turned, looking up at me with big blue eyes, and I dropped to my knees in front of her. "Pinkie. I just . . . Don't you feel it? I feel as though . . . If I step up on that stage . . . If I sing, it won't be happy, it . . . I'll . . . it . . . "

"Would be like saying goodbye?" She asked, her mane going a bit limp, and just like that I felt my heart crack, as the truth I had been denying welled up inside and brimmed over. Tears were rolling down my face and I nodded, my throat too tight to speak.

Pinkie looked at me for a long moment, before a sad smile crossed her face, and she leaned forward, kissing my cheek. "Fyren, we all love you, as you love us. But . . . All good things must come to an end, right? And, when that end comes, wouldn't you rather have the chance to say goodbye, than to be left wondering if they all knew how much you cared?"

I stared at her, feeling a hollow pit growing in my chest as her words bounced around inside my skull. She put her hoof to the side of my face, drawing my eyes to her, and I looked at her . . . really looked at her, seeing everything, from the hairs in her frazzled mane, to the shimmering of tears in her eyes.

I opened my mouth and took a shaking breath. "I . . . I-I don't w-want to s-s-say goodbye. I d-d-don't want it t-to be over!"

She looked at me again, for al ong moment, and then, tears running down her cheeks, she started laughing softly. I frowned, shaking my head as her chuckle turned to giggles, which turned to guffaws.

"P-Pinkie?"

She waved her hoof, shaking with laughter and crying at the same time. "S-Sorry, Fyrie, it's just . . . Whoever said it would be over?"

I looked at her, confusion in my face, as she smiled warmly at me. "Silly Fyrie. It's never over, as long as you always hold on to hope."

I sucked in a breath again and sobbed. "B-But . . . Where? Where is hope w-without . . . without y-you?"

She grinned broadly at me, and reached out, laying a gentle hoof on my chest, over my pounding heart. "Right here, Fyren. Right where I'll always be."

I looked at her, and felt that cold, hollow hole in my heart start to glint with the faintest of flames. A touch of warmth in a frozen landscape, that brought with it that light in the darkness called hope. And I heard AJ’s voice from the stage, and I and Pinkie both turned, looking up to the stage, and there stood Applejack, with Dashie beside her, along with Granny Smith, Apple Bloom and Big Macintosh. AJ gave Coluratura a big, tight hug, an embrace which was wholeheartedly returned by the other mare, before stepping back and, it seemed, wiping a tear from her eye, before she turned and smiled out at the crowd, and spoke from her heart.

“I just wanna thank y’all, not just for comin’ here, but for everything you’ve done for me and my family and my friends over the years. I might not be standin’ here, with the mare I love to one side and my kin on the other, if it weren’t for the good ponies, and other creatures, that are gathered here, now.” She blushed a bit, as did Rainbow Dash, but true to her Element, both stayed the course. “When Twilight came here, all those years ago, I couldn’t have imagined what life was gonna have in store fer any of us, then. And, I don’t know what it’s holdin’ back for us, in years to come, but I know this: With all of you here, bein’ the rock under our hooves, we can face anything that comes our way!”

The crowd gave a loud cheer, and many were weeping, but smiling at the same time, and I felt it, a small curl at the corner of my mouth, even as my heart felt like it would crumble to dust, and my throat was clogged with tears. Applejack wasn’t done yet, as she spoke softly to RaRa, who went to her piano and sat down, and began to play, softly, while Big Mac picked up the harmony on a violin, and Apple Bloom and Granny joined in on vocals. . . .

”When family cannot be here,
Havin’ journeyed far and wide.
We sing a song to honor them,
To remember days gone by.

So take your cup and raise it high,
Just as surely I’ll do mine.
And laugh we will at stories told,
As we smile at days gone by.
As we smile at days gone by.

For family not here, my dears,
Havin’ journeyed far and wide.
For Loyalty and Kindness both,
We smile at days gone by.

Our paths will cross again one day,
In time to reunite.
For family is always near,
Even when the seas are wide.

So take your cup and raise it high,
Just as surely I’ll do mine.
And make a toast for family,
And the tales of days gone by.

For family not here, my dears,
Havin’ journeyed far and wide.
For Loyalty and Kindness both,
Take joy at days gone by.

For Loyalty and Kindness both,
We smile at days gone by.”

The entire crowd joined in on the chorus, including myself and Pinkie, and by the end of it, I was bawling like a baby, but a smile was stretched over my face. As the song finished, Pinkie took me by the hand and pulled me up to the stage, smiling softly at me as she led me over. She pushed me forward, and I stumbled to a halt beside AJ and Dashie. They looked up at me, and I looked down at them, and AJ frowned. “What’s wrong, Sugarcube?”

I fell to one knee in front of them and smiled again through my tears. “Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Everything is . . . It’s just fine.” I said softly, and leaned in, hugging her close, squeezing her tightly, before I drew back, only to turn and pull Dashie forward into a hug as well.

“Uhh, you okay, Fyre?” She asked, as she awkwardly patted my back, and I chuckled softly.

“Yeah, Dashie. I’m just fine.” I said, as I pulled away, smiling at her once more, before I stood up and turned to the microphone, pulling it up to my height. I nodded to Pinkie, trusting her to simply know what I needed, and so I started to sing. . . .

"There once was a time . . ."

As the song continued, I cried, and laughed, and felt my heart warm until it felt as though it would burst into flame, as Pinkie danced with me, a smile lighting up her face in pure joy and love. And I saw the same look on the faces of my other friends, all those I had come to view as family, all around me. And I sang, with a smile on my face, that nothing could ever take away. A smile of all the joy this place had brought, coupled with the knowledge, the hope that one day, through thick and thin, I would find this again. . . .

And that’s the smile I love to see,
Filled with joy as bright as the sunshine.
A grin as wide and deep as the blue sea,
In your heart, I am yours, as you are mine.
Now and forevermore, as long as our memories live on,
Nothing shall ever take us away from this perfect moment.

I know it’s hard, but don’t despair, everybrony. I promise, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye . . .
We’ll be back. ;)